Dear Automatic Transmission:
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Technical Article Contributor
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From: Vernon, NY
Dear Automatic Transmission:
I was googling something and came up with this... I totally agree on making it easier to drive so automakers can make more sales.
Automatic trannies are dumb and useless.
Automatic trannies are dumb and useless.
Andrew Clark
Published on Monday, Feb. 15, 2010 1:49AM EST
Dear Automatic Transmission,
I hope you are well. It's been a while since I've written. Sorry. Been busy. Life, what's it all about? Anyway, just wanted to write and thank you again for being invented. How long ago was that?
I guess it was after those two French guys created the first manual transmission in 1894. Then, in 1904, that dude from Boston (Thomas J. Sturtevant) designed the Automatic Tourer and equipped it with internal combustion and 3-speed semi-automatic gearbox. After that, General Motors stepped up with the clutchless automatic transmission in 1938 and called it the Hydra-Matic. In 1948, the first fully automatic transmission arrived with Buick's Dynaflow system.
Now GM has almost gone extinct. I guess that's karma for you.
You know “AT,” today it's actually pretty hard to even buy a car with manual transmission? You are the default transmission for most domestic cars and a lot of imports. You must be very proud.
Driving sure has improved since you appeared. Remember all those people who were afraid to operate a car because they found manual transmissions difficult and were anxious about driving? They either walked or were passengers. Well, thanks to you, all those people are now behind the wheel. It's awesome, because, what you want when you're driving are millions of people on the road who are either too lazy or too inept to figure out manual transmission. Some maintain that's what modern life's all about – debasing otherwise noble pursuits and making them so banal that any drooling idiot can do them.
Did you know that if you Google “people who hate automatic transmission” you get 266,000 hits? Did you know that there is a Facebook “Society for the Abolition of Automatic Transmission”? I guess folks are upset because automatic transmissions are much more expensive to repair than manual ones. They also have worse fuel economy.
But you know what I say? That may be true but you, automatic transmission, are easier to use and that's all that matters: Microwavable risotto, instant cappuccino, Guitar Hero, Wii Tennis, automatic transmission. What's not to love?
Not everyone is thrilled as I am by your dominance. They say you took the drive out of driving. You have to admit, manual transmission requires a certain amount of flair and skill. When you drive manual, your personality is revealed. It isn't neurosurgery but it is something that requires a human brain and opposable thumb. But, thanks to you, all we need now is the ability to press down on a large pedal – the same level of skill a lab rat needs to push down a lever and receive a dose of whatever drug they're testing on it.
They have automatic transmission trucks now. You must be really pleased. Imagine: truckers who steer hulking tons of wheeled steel at high speeds choosing to sacrifice control and feel in order to drive automatic. Comforting isn't it?
It's funny. Having grown up driving stick, I have to admit, you were once something I only associated with crappy rental cars. I'd pick up my Ford Taurus from the dealer and pinch my nose. Perhaps that's because when you drive stick you are actually driving the car, controlling it, being active. Manual transmission is like riding a horse. Automatic transmission is like riding a merry-go-round.
I don't want to alarm you AT, but automobile designers are working on smart cars that will some day make using automatic transmission look strenuous. You can already buy a car that will parallel park for you. I have to ask: How much of a loser do you have to be in order to need a car that parallel parks for you? Is it that much trouble to practice a bit? Do you have that much contempt for the art of driving? When you buy a parallel parking car does it come with a free machine that chews your Kashi Go Lean for you?
Last month, it was reported that there is an Oxford professor who is working tirelessly on new technologies to make driving even easier. He imagines talking windshields, cars that honk at the driver, head-rest alerts, even aroma therapy that chills you out when you begin to grow agitated.
Progress.
They say it's about making drivers safe. I'm not so sure. Why not just make driving exams more difficult, require motorists to hone their skills (e.g. skid school) and reward excellent drivers with lower insurance rates and special privileges. Why not have parking lots that are reserved for those who have spotless records?
No, you're right. I guess that would be elitist. The crappy drivers would feel left out.
Of course, it may be that using technology to make everything easy is just a way to sell more cars. The easier it is to drive the more people will buy automobiles. When the going gets easy, the easy get going. And, if the last economic downturn has taught us anything it's that it is all about the money.
Anyway, take care of yourself automatic transmission. Take care and thanks for everything.
Published on Monday, Feb. 15, 2010 1:49AM EST
Dear Automatic Transmission,
I hope you are well. It's been a while since I've written. Sorry. Been busy. Life, what's it all about? Anyway, just wanted to write and thank you again for being invented. How long ago was that?
I guess it was after those two French guys created the first manual transmission in 1894. Then, in 1904, that dude from Boston (Thomas J. Sturtevant) designed the Automatic Tourer and equipped it with internal combustion and 3-speed semi-automatic gearbox. After that, General Motors stepped up with the clutchless automatic transmission in 1938 and called it the Hydra-Matic. In 1948, the first fully automatic transmission arrived with Buick's Dynaflow system.
Now GM has almost gone extinct. I guess that's karma for you.
You know “AT,” today it's actually pretty hard to even buy a car with manual transmission? You are the default transmission for most domestic cars and a lot of imports. You must be very proud.
Driving sure has improved since you appeared. Remember all those people who were afraid to operate a car because they found manual transmissions difficult and were anxious about driving? They either walked or were passengers. Well, thanks to you, all those people are now behind the wheel. It's awesome, because, what you want when you're driving are millions of people on the road who are either too lazy or too inept to figure out manual transmission. Some maintain that's what modern life's all about – debasing otherwise noble pursuits and making them so banal that any drooling idiot can do them.
Did you know that if you Google “people who hate automatic transmission” you get 266,000 hits? Did you know that there is a Facebook “Society for the Abolition of Automatic Transmission”? I guess folks are upset because automatic transmissions are much more expensive to repair than manual ones. They also have worse fuel economy.
But you know what I say? That may be true but you, automatic transmission, are easier to use and that's all that matters: Microwavable risotto, instant cappuccino, Guitar Hero, Wii Tennis, automatic transmission. What's not to love?
Not everyone is thrilled as I am by your dominance. They say you took the drive out of driving. You have to admit, manual transmission requires a certain amount of flair and skill. When you drive manual, your personality is revealed. It isn't neurosurgery but it is something that requires a human brain and opposable thumb. But, thanks to you, all we need now is the ability to press down on a large pedal – the same level of skill a lab rat needs to push down a lever and receive a dose of whatever drug they're testing on it.
They have automatic transmission trucks now. You must be really pleased. Imagine: truckers who steer hulking tons of wheeled steel at high speeds choosing to sacrifice control and feel in order to drive automatic. Comforting isn't it?
It's funny. Having grown up driving stick, I have to admit, you were once something I only associated with crappy rental cars. I'd pick up my Ford Taurus from the dealer and pinch my nose. Perhaps that's because when you drive stick you are actually driving the car, controlling it, being active. Manual transmission is like riding a horse. Automatic transmission is like riding a merry-go-round.
I don't want to alarm you AT, but automobile designers are working on smart cars that will some day make using automatic transmission look strenuous. You can already buy a car that will parallel park for you. I have to ask: How much of a loser do you have to be in order to need a car that parallel parks for you? Is it that much trouble to practice a bit? Do you have that much contempt for the art of driving? When you buy a parallel parking car does it come with a free machine that chews your Kashi Go Lean for you?
Last month, it was reported that there is an Oxford professor who is working tirelessly on new technologies to make driving even easier. He imagines talking windshields, cars that honk at the driver, head-rest alerts, even aroma therapy that chills you out when you begin to grow agitated.
Progress.
They say it's about making drivers safe. I'm not so sure. Why not just make driving exams more difficult, require motorists to hone their skills (e.g. skid school) and reward excellent drivers with lower insurance rates and special privileges. Why not have parking lots that are reserved for those who have spotless records?
No, you're right. I guess that would be elitist. The crappy drivers would feel left out.
Of course, it may be that using technology to make everything easy is just a way to sell more cars. The easier it is to drive the more people will buy automobiles. When the going gets easy, the easy get going. And, if the last economic downturn has taught us anything it's that it is all about the money.
Anyway, take care of yourself automatic transmission. Take care and thanks for everything.
Senior Member
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 856
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From: Green Bay, WisconSIN
driving a stick is fun but it gets old in my opinion....my wife has an svt focus and yeah its fun but it gets old in a hurry, glad i have an automatic for the most part and if i want others to hear me with my dual exhaust, i just work the 1-3 on the shifter and then shift into into "D"....
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Technical Article Contributor
Joined: Jan 2007
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From: Vernon, NY
driving a stick is fun but it gets old in my opinion....my wife has an svt focus and yeah its fun but it gets old in a hurry, glad i have an automatic for the most part and if i want others to hear me with my dual exhaust, i just work the 1-3 on the shifter and then shift into into "D"....
That's not good for your transmission by shifting it manually.
Why?
It puts stress on the clutches and bands, and the high pressure pump shaft doesn't like it either.
Automatic transmissions are weak no matter what they say, and I've got real stats to back it up. And yes, even new ones. 100 to 150 thousand miles out of a 3000+ dollar part? I'll pass.
Even my local transmission shop that has been in business for over 42 years will tell you this.
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 420
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From: Rotterdam, NY
At times I miss driving a stick. The car I traded in on my truck had a 5 speed and I had my Mustang converted from an automatic to a 5 speed. I really dont drive the Mustang much though.
Sometimes I wish my truck had a stick but other times its nice to just put it in gear and go. A 5.4 with a 5 speed would be pretty sick.
I dont think you can buy any half ton truck with a stick anymore and finding one in a 3/4 ton+ is harder now than ever too.
Sometimes I wish my truck had a stick but other times its nice to just put it in gear and go. A 5.4 with a 5 speed would be pretty sick.
I dont think you can buy any half ton truck with a stick anymore and finding one in a 3/4 ton+ is harder now than ever too.
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Joined: May 2004
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From: Georgia on my mind...
Automatic transmissions are weak no matter what they say, and I've got real stats to back it up. And yes, even new ones. 100 to 150 thousand miles out of a 3000+ dollar part? I'll pass.
Even my local transmission shop that has been in business for over 42 years will tell you this.
Even my local transmission shop that has been in business for over 42 years will tell you this.
They break. Ford, GM, Chrysler, Honda, Toyota, Nissan, Mitsubishi, Mazda, BMW, Audi, Mercedes, VW, Kia and Hyundais, Volvos and Saabs, Jags, Land Rovers, MGs, manual or automatic transmission, three, four, five, six, eight, ten, twelve cylinders, gasoline or diesel or hybrid, front, rear, all, or four wheel drive, they all break.
Know how I know this? 'Cause I work on cars.
Yes, a shop that does nothing but transmission work will tell you that they break. No kidding. That's why they're in business, 'cause they break.
This is like a pediatrician telling you that kids get sick. They just do. Otherwise, they wouldn't be in business.
And this may be a shock to you, but manual transmissions break too. Know why you hear more about automatics breaking than manual transmissions? 'Cause there are more vehicles with automatic transmissions out there than manual transmissions. Simple numbers.
And here's yet another shock to you: Modern automatic transmissions are good. The engineers who get sick amounts of money to sit around and design these things are very good at what they do. If they weren't, then they wouldn't be employed very long, and the transmission designs you see today wouldn't exist (for instance, the 4R70/75W used to this day evolved from the AOD, which has been around in some form or another since about 1980. If it didn't work, and work well, it and its variants wouldn't have survived for 30 years now. The 5R/6R series automatics used today are distantly related to the A4LD, which was first used in 1982 or thereabouts.).
You like manual transmissions. We get this, that's fine. Just please shuddup about it, 'cause some folks are tired of hearing your stupid *** unfounded opinions; I know I am.
Or hey, someone at IB, give me an ignore button so I don't have to read this boatload of fail anymore.
Last edited by Quintin; Mar 20, 2010 at 09:10 AM. Reason: edited so I don't get bitched at for circumventing the language filter.
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From: So. Texas
What the auto makers accomplish with automatics is that they can more control emissions. Considering the computer drives these cars today and about the only input the car needs is steering and gas pedal to go down the hiway. Otherwise, the computer drives the car, not the driver. With a manual, there is no control and emissions soar. Mostly due to the fact that so few have a clue how to drive one. Even those that can shift one without killing the engine aren't always the sharpest tool in the box. Frankly though, I'd like to see the manual come back. Can you imagine how that young, good looking, ditsy blonde with the cell phone stuck in her ear would drive one? It would eliminate a lot of the morons from the road, that's for sure. But it's not gonna happen so ya might as well get accustomed to the automatic.
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From: Bakersfield, CA, USA
x2.
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From: western washington
I work on cars. Guess what?
They break. Ford, GM, Chrysler, Honda, Toyota, Nissan, Mitsubishi, Mazda, BMW, Audi, Mercedes, VW, Kia and Hyundais, Volvos and Saabs, Jags, Land Rovers, MGs, manual or automatic transmission, three, four, five, six, eight, ten, twelve cylinders, gasoline or diesel or hybrid, front, rear, all, or four wheel drive, they all break.
Know how I know this? 'Cause I work on cars.
Yes, a shop that does nothing but transmission work will tell you that they break. No kidding. That's why they're in business, 'cause they break.
This is like a pediatrician telling you that kids get sick. They just do. Otherwise, they wouldn't be in business.
And this may be a shock to you, but manual transmissions break too. Know why you hear more about automatics breaking than manual transmissions? 'Cause there are more vehicles with automatic transmissions out there than manual transmissions. Simple numbers.
And here's yet another shock to you: Modern automatic transmissions are good. The engineers who get sick amounts of money to sit around and design these things are very good at what they do. If they weren't, then they wouldn't be employed very long, and the transmission designs you see today wouldn't exist (for instance, the 4R70/75W used to this day evolved from the AOD, which has been around in some form or another since about 1980. If it didn't work, and work well, it and its variants wouldn't have survived for 30 years now. The 5R/6R series automatics used today are distantly related to the A4LD, which was first used in 1982 or thereabouts.).
You like manual transmissions. We get this, that's fine. Just please shuddup about it, 'cause some folks are tired of hearing your stupid *** unfounded opinions; I know I am.
Or hey, someone at IB, give me an ignore button so I don't have to read this boatload of fail anymore.
They break. Ford, GM, Chrysler, Honda, Toyota, Nissan, Mitsubishi, Mazda, BMW, Audi, Mercedes, VW, Kia and Hyundais, Volvos and Saabs, Jags, Land Rovers, MGs, manual or automatic transmission, three, four, five, six, eight, ten, twelve cylinders, gasoline or diesel or hybrid, front, rear, all, or four wheel drive, they all break.
Know how I know this? 'Cause I work on cars.
Yes, a shop that does nothing but transmission work will tell you that they break. No kidding. That's why they're in business, 'cause they break.
This is like a pediatrician telling you that kids get sick. They just do. Otherwise, they wouldn't be in business.
And this may be a shock to you, but manual transmissions break too. Know why you hear more about automatics breaking than manual transmissions? 'Cause there are more vehicles with automatic transmissions out there than manual transmissions. Simple numbers.
And here's yet another shock to you: Modern automatic transmissions are good. The engineers who get sick amounts of money to sit around and design these things are very good at what they do. If they weren't, then they wouldn't be employed very long, and the transmission designs you see today wouldn't exist (for instance, the 4R70/75W used to this day evolved from the AOD, which has been around in some form or another since about 1980. If it didn't work, and work well, it and its variants wouldn't have survived for 30 years now. The 5R/6R series automatics used today are distantly related to the A4LD, which was first used in 1982 or thereabouts.).
You like manual transmissions. We get this, that's fine. Just please shuddup about it, 'cause some folks are tired of hearing your stupid *** unfounded opinions; I know I am.
Or hey, someone at IB, give me an ignore button so I don't have to read this boatload of fail anymore.
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From: St. Charles, MO
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From: Seabrook,NH
I loved my Stick shift 94 Ranger except in Boston traffic. It was an awesome little truck.