Lets hear it, just vent it out.
Senior Member
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,512
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From: >wwOwww<
I was going to post this in the joke thread, but I think maybe it belongs here
>>>>>
<<<<<
A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."
Passenger: 'Who?'
Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."
Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."
Cabbie: "There's more... He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right."
Passenger: "Wow, some guy then."
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."
Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank. He died. I'm married to his widow."
>>>>><<<<<A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."
Passenger: 'Who?'
Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."
Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."
Cabbie: "There's more... He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right."
Passenger: "Wow, some guy then."
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."
Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank. He died. I'm married to his widow."
Technical Article Contributor
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,616
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From: Concordia, MO
How many of you married fellows have had similar or some situations like the ones I described below?
Lets start with, when we were first dating, I would shower her with romantic thoughts almost every day, like an "I love you" note left on the cereal box, a love card in her purse, flowers delivered at here job, etc, etc. One day she says, "honey, I know you love me very much, so you don't have to give me something ever day to express your love for me, save you money you'll need it for rainy days." Couple of days later she was sitting on her porch with a sad face, and I asked, "are you OK honey?" She takes a deep breath and says, "well, for the past 2 days I've searched every where for a love note from you, I looked in my car, in the mail box, the cereal boxes, and nothing. Do you still love me?"
I was like, WTF
Then there have been situations like these:
She says: "Honey, when you get a chance can you take the box that is in the kitchen and store it in the attic?"
I say: "OK"
Few minutes later: "Did you store the box in the attic?"
"No."
FINE! I'll do it myself!
I'm like
"well, you said when I get a chance. I haven't gotten a chance."
Some other time: "Honey when you get a chance can you bring me the plastic container that's in the garage."
As soon as I hear "Honey when you get a chance....." I'm already getting up to do what she wants done. She goes, "oh, I don't expect for you to do it right this minute, I said, when you get a chance.
I'm like
On another occasion;
She is like,
why do you have to puddle your cloths on the chair like that, why can't you hang your cloths, the closet is only 2 ft away.
I'm like,
honey because you do a better job than I do, but I can do it is no problem.
She says, "Well do it!"
Next day, I'm folding my cloths and getting ready to hang my pants, she walks in and says, "oh honey you don't have to do that I'll do it for you, that's my job."
I'm like
I've read the smallest book in the world "What Men Know About Women" but couldn't find any helpful advice to really understand what they are trying to communicate to us.
____________________
Lets start with, when we were first dating, I would shower her with romantic thoughts almost every day, like an "I love you" note left on the cereal box, a love card in her purse, flowers delivered at here job, etc, etc. One day she says, "honey, I know you love me very much, so you don't have to give me something ever day to express your love for me, save you money you'll need it for rainy days." Couple of days later she was sitting on her porch with a sad face, and I asked, "are you OK honey?" She takes a deep breath and says, "well, for the past 2 days I've searched every where for a love note from you, I looked in my car, in the mail box, the cereal boxes, and nothing. Do you still love me?"
I was like, WTF
Then there have been situations like these:
She says: "Honey, when you get a chance can you take the box that is in the kitchen and store it in the attic?"
I say: "OK"
Few minutes later: "Did you store the box in the attic?"
"No."
FINE! I'll do it myself!
I'm like
"well, you said when I get a chance. I haven't gotten a chance."Some other time: "Honey when you get a chance can you bring me the plastic container that's in the garage."
As soon as I hear "Honey when you get a chance....." I'm already getting up to do what she wants done. She goes, "oh, I don't expect for you to do it right this minute, I said, when you get a chance.
I'm like
On another occasion;
She is like,
why do you have to puddle your cloths on the chair like that, why can't you hang your cloths, the closet is only 2 ft away.I'm like,
honey because you do a better job than I do, but I can do it is no problem.She says, "Well do it!"
Next day, I'm folding my cloths and getting ready to hang my pants, she walks in and says, "oh honey you don't have to do that I'll do it for you, that's my job."
I'm like
I've read the smallest book in the world "What Men Know About Women" but couldn't find any helpful advice to really understand what they are trying to communicate to us.
____________________
1 Ignore them as long as possible.
2 Act like you didn't hear them.
3 After you do hear them, ask them to repeat themselves.
4 Act like an idiot and say, "What exactly were you wanting me to do?"
5 Make as many excuses as you can think of to get out of it.
6 If she's still around, ask for sex. Not as a reward, just because your horny.
Eventually she will just get annoyed and go do it herself.
Senior Member
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 1,132
Likes: 1
From: Calgary, Alberta Canada
In my 42 years this is what I have learned about women.
They are always right 100% of the time even about things they know nothing about. As a man you are wrong, period.
When they ask, suggest or request you do something don't be fooled. This is a command and is to be done now and by now I mean right now even if the phrase "when you get a chance" is added.
Anything you choose to spend your money on is just wasting it but there are never enough candles, candle holders and simular ornaments to be purchased. Even if your house is over flowing with crap there is always room for more.
As a man you are required to ask permission to go anywhere and do anything which is followed up by constant "checking in" to ensure you are not being "recalled" and your permission rescinded. As a women her plans are run by you but she is not asking for your permission or your thoughts on the topic in general. This is a formality, she is going out, sucks to be you.
They are always right 100% of the time even about things they know nothing about. As a man you are wrong, period.
When they ask, suggest or request you do something don't be fooled. This is a command and is to be done now and by now I mean right now even if the phrase "when you get a chance" is added.
Anything you choose to spend your money on is just wasting it but there are never enough candles, candle holders and simular ornaments to be purchased. Even if your house is over flowing with crap there is always room for more.
As a man you are required to ask permission to go anywhere and do anything which is followed up by constant "checking in" to ensure you are not being "recalled" and your permission rescinded. As a women her plans are run by you but she is not asking for your permission or your thoughts on the topic in general. This is a formality, she is going out, sucks to be you.
Member
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 94
Likes: 0
From: Czechahoe, Tx
Not married yet but will be in Feb. and weve been together since '05 I love it when she ranks on and on switching from one subject to the next for 30+ min and then wants some form of response out of me. So I start with the last thing I can remember her saying and of course I get interupted with the "thats not even what I'm talking about" or the "you just dont get it, I'm not mad about subject A (really...youve just gone on a fukin 30 min spree about it), you just dont understand subject XK-49-T (well no **** what the *** is that...spit it out), your a man and cant and wont ever be able to understand". WTF?!?!?!?!
I find the best thing to do is remain very calm and level headed and make her clearlry explain herself. 9 out of 10 times she cant, she'll get mad storm off and 20 minutes later come back like a sad puppy that just got whipped for pissing on the floor and want to put all of it behind......for the time being.
I'll never understand her "feelings", but like I tell her....I'm a man, I have a ****.
I find the best thing to do is remain very calm and level headed and make her clearlry explain herself. 9 out of 10 times she cant, she'll get mad storm off and 20 minutes later come back like a sad puppy that just got whipped for pissing on the floor and want to put all of it behind......for the time being.
I'll never understand her "feelings", but like I tell her....I'm a man, I have a ****.
Technical Article Contributor
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,616
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From: Concordia, MO
Five years and counting!
My methods go right along with my method for not doing the laundry dishes etc.
When you first get married and she asks you to do the laundry, pick her favorite article of clothing and ruin it. (shrink it, stain it, bleach it, etc)
She'll never ask you to do the laundry again.
My methods go right along with my method for not doing the laundry dishes etc.
When you first get married and she asks you to do the laundry, pick her favorite article of clothing and ruin it. (shrink it, stain it, bleach it, etc)
She'll never ask you to do the laundry again.
Senior Member
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 1,333
Likes: 0
From: Bethlehem, PA
I ignore her enough to not be annoyed but listen just well enough to be able to repeat enough back to make it sound like I was listening and to know when to say "uh huh," "yeah," "hm," etc. Then later, when she tells me that she told me something already, I just deny, deny, deny. "You never told me that. I definitely would have remembered that. You always do this. Say you told me something even though you never did. You tell your friends and everybody else except me." I've had that conversation so many times. It usually works however when it doesn't I just force the conversation forward, without losing my ground, and make her get on with her point. Example, "You didn't tell me but whatever, what were you trying to get at in the first place?"
HOWEVER, I'm currently single so you may not want to follow any of my advice.
HOWEVER, I'm currently single so you may not want to follow any of my advice.
Senior Member
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 3,592
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I ignore her enough to not be annoyed but listen just well enough to be able to repeat enough back to make it sound like I was listening and to know when to say "uh huh," "yeah," "hm," etc. Then later, when she tells me that she told me something already, I just deny, deny, deny. "You never told me that. I definitely would have remembered that. You always do this. Say you told me something even though you never did. You tell your friends and everybody else except me." I've had that conversation so many times. It usually works however when it doesn't I just force the conversation forward, without losing my ground, and make her get on with her point. Example, "You didn't tell me but whatever, what were you trying to get at in the first place?"
HOWEVER, I'm currently single so you may not want to follow any of my advice.
HOWEVER, I'm currently single so you may not want to follow any of my advice.
single for the win!
Technical Article Contributor
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,616
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From: Concordia, MO
It's not that you called it the fabric store. It's that you would actually go to the fabric store to go help pick out fabric for your wifes next blouse.
And I guess it's fine that you do that, and can do that, it's just that every guy I know would think their wife is absolutely nuts for asking them to do that.