Ah yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a mans genitals thru his wallet.- Robin Williams

I thin k sex is the most beautiful, natural, wholesome thing money can buy- Tom Clancy

You know that look that women get when they want sex? Yeah, me neither!- Steve Martin

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand- Woody Allen

Bisexuality doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night- Rodney Dangerfield

Women can fake orgasms but men can fake an entire relationship- Sharon Stone

My girlfriend always laughs during sex....no matter what she's reading- Steve Jobs, Apple Computers

My mother never saw the irony of calling a Son of a -itch- Jack Nickolson

Clinton lied. A man can forget where he parked his car or where he lives but he never forgets oral sex....no matter how bad it is- Barbara Bush

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome but I find it's the only time of the month I can be myself- Roseanne

Women have the need for a reason to have sex. Men just need a place- Billy Crystal

According to a new survey, women feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than women. They say other women are too judgmental whereas men are just grateful- Robt DeNiro

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house- Rod Stewart

See, the problem is that God gave men a brain and a *****, with just enough blood to run one at a time- Robin Williams

Sex at 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope- George Burns

 

Best one FTW