True dat. Mine will be 6 this year. I can't imagine when she is 12 and old enough to be interested in boys. I can feel my blood pressure going up now just thinking about it. I won't ever make it.

 

Shadowstx
As a divorced Father of two boys, all I can say is, you're making a mistake. You do have to accept the fact you do no have control of the situation. I also think possibly the moral standards that you feel you should impose are coming from a source other than yourself. I say this from experience, and that being a step parent is one of the toughest jobs in the world. But when it comes to your relationship with your absentee Child. You need to do some thinking on your own, without any other concerns. A Father of your caliber can not walk out on a Daughter. You need to sit down by yourself, and get down to the bottom of your issue. When is the last time you ever considered taking a gift back from anyone.
Is this a form of punishment for a twelve year old that acts like everyone that surrounds her? It's not a punishment, it's more likely, there is a problem you've not realized yet.. Give it some sincere thought, and ask yourself. If she were living there with you would you react this harshly? It is OK to take something from a child temporally{IMO}. But to cut yourself off completely at a time when a young Lady needs her Dad most? I know this is a much deeper situation than you could ever post on the Internet. But you are making a life changing mistake, and nothing but more resentment will come from it. Resentment that will effect every relationship your Daughter ever has with a male figure. I have a stepdaughter. I made my mistakes with her, and I also saw her Dad run out on her. Se is now almost 30 years old. I'm her Dad now. Her Father is just a donor, and he did that to himself.
The most important thing a Dad with Children of a divorce can do is HANG IN THERE. The next ten years are going to be long and hard. But if you are a parent, you need to be the adult in the situation and stick it out.
Good Luck. I also highly recommend you make up with your daughter, and give all the time you can devote to her. Show her how an adult handles situations like this. I have an X from hell, she has done everything she can do to drive a wedge between me and my children. The most important advice anyone can give you, Don't quit!

 

Your daughter is caught between the two of you---and your exwife is "buying" her love. This can be a normal happening in a divorce---you have to hang tough and HANG IN THERE---you cannot tell her goodbye.

She "loves" the stuff that your exwife is giving her, but she will wake up someday and see what true paternal love is---if you leave her, you will miss out on a potentialy great relatinship that you can never recapture.

You are hurt right now that your daughter "loves" your exwife more than she loves you...but she will come to realize what it is all about down the road...when, I cannot say, but she will. If you close the door on this, it will stay closed forever.

Tim C.

 

Settle down. If you bring them up right you'll have no worries. My little girl will be 20 this summer.

 

Thanks for the replies, you guys, but don't get me wrong....I say that I'll look the other way but I am better than that. And my daughter knows it too.

She just needs to learn a lesson.

As for 'taking stuff away', that is how I discipline my pre-teen daughter and teenage son. I used to do the ol' spanking on the bottom thing, but I decided a long time ago that by taking the tv, playstation, radio, etc., away....oh, that is so much more attention getting and hurtful to them.

As for the ex.....

She is the type of person that doesn't face the truth. I could write a book as to the things that she's done to the kids since I divorced her. The way things are going, we are going to need some kind of mediation to get back on the same page...but I know how she is and she will not go for it. Sad but true.

I'm not giving up.....just giving my daughter time to think about all that I've done for her in her life.

Thanks

 

Yeah, having a boy, you worry about one *****. Having a girl, you worry about every other one in the world.

 

Tumba,

thanks for the thoughts, and believe me when I say that I've been in your shoes. I had my daughter with my ex, but she also had two other kids that I raised for ten years which now, have 'forgotten' all I did for them when their father ran out on them. But oh well, I did the best I could and was there when they needed a father figure.

And now, I'm remarried and am raising two more kids whose father only saw them four times last year.....out of his own choosing. So I slipped on the stepfather shoes again....without any regrets. They need a dad and I'm willing to be here for them.

I went through hell when I divorced the ex and 'lived' in my big rig for a couple of years....just driving. The one thing that I have learned is to not quit....and no matter what, NEVER let the ex have the satisfaction of knowing that she has beat you.

I have faith, and I KNOW that she will come back around. It's just going to take time.

 

Man, ain't that the truth!!!

 

Here you go, Pickup Man, thought you might want to hold on to this;




APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage,
and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________

HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________

SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES____________________________________________

HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______

Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain:
__________________________________________________ ____________

Number of years they have been married ______________________________

If less than your age, explain
__________________________________________________ ____________

__________________________________________________ ____________


ACCESSORIES SECTION:

A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No

B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No

C. A waterbed? __Yes __No

D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No

E. A tattoo? __Yes __No

F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No
pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?

(IF YOU ANSWERED "YES" TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION
AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)


ESSAY SECTION:

In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?

__________________________________________________ ____________

__________________________________________________ ____________

In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?

__________________________________________________ ____________

__________________________________________________ ____________

In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?

__________________________________________________ ____________

__________________________________________________ ____________


REFERENCES SECTION:

Church you attend __________________________________________________ _

How often you attend ________________________________________________

When would be the best time to interview your:

father? _____________

mother? _____________

pastor? _____________


SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:

Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers
are confidential.

A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:

__________________________________________________ ____________

B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:

__________________________________________________ ____________

C: A woman's place is in the:

__________________________________________________ ____________

D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:

__________________________________________________ ____________

E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________________

__________________________________________________ ____________

__________________________________________________ ____________

F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:

__________________________________________________ ____________

F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO
THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,
NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE
WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.


__________________________________________________ _______
Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)


_______________________________ ________________________________
Mother's Signature Father's Signature

_______________________________ ________________________________
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and
non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing.

You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do
not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would
cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be
notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases.
(you might watch your back)To prepare yourself, start studying Daddy's Rules for Dating.

 

.....time and you in her life. Do not step too far out or it will be even harder to get back in. Best of luck to you. I have two girls myself. One is 12 and the other is 7. The 12 year old wants a cell phone and a facebook page etc etc but I do not think she needs any of it yet. She gets everything she needs and some of what she wants.

 

 

I appreciate them very much....hopefully you guys that were wondering about my disciplinary actions understand about what I had planned on doing.

Gotta go take care of some things but I'll get back online soon.

Thanks again

 

Hey, Pickup Man....check out the application I posted

 

Sounds like her mother has spoiled her rotten either by nature or to drive a wedge between her and you. I personally think it's ridiculous for a 12 year-old girl to have a cell phone. There is no reason for it.

I wouldn't turn my back on her though. At her age she is going to start wanting male attention. If you abandon her, she will get that attention from somewhere else.

 

x10