17 things NOT to say to a cop
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Senior Member
Joined: Sep 1999
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From: Ventura, California
17 things NOT to say to a cop
17 Things Not To Say To A Cop
1 I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2 Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3 Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4 Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job!
5 Excuse me. Is "stick up" hyphenated?
6 I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7 I was going to be a trooper, but I decided to finish high school instead.
8 Bad cop! No donut!
9 You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
10 Is it true that people become troopers because they are too dumb to work at McDonald's?
11 I pay your salary!
12 Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
13 Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
14 I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around--that's how far ahead of me they are.
15 What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist.
16 Hey, is that a 9 mm? How's that compare to this one here?
17 Say Hi to your wife and my kids!
Take care,
-Chris
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'95 Eddie Bauer F-150 SC & '64 Falcon/Ranchero
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Are you A.S.E. Certified ? If so, ask me about
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1 I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2 Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3 Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4 Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job!
5 Excuse me. Is "stick up" hyphenated?
6 I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7 I was going to be a trooper, but I decided to finish high school instead.
8 Bad cop! No donut!
9 You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
10 Is it true that people become troopers because they are too dumb to work at McDonald's?
11 I pay your salary!
12 Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
13 Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
14 I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around--that's how far ahead of me they are.
15 What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist.
16 Hey, is that a 9 mm? How's that compare to this one here?
17 Say Hi to your wife and my kids!
Take care,
-Chris
------------------
'95 Eddie Bauer F-150 SC & '64 Falcon/Ranchero
-------------------------------------
Are you A.S.E. Certified ? If so, ask me about
iATN...the best tool you'll ever have ! ! And it's
free
Senior Member
Joined: Feb 1999
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Funny you should post that. Last week a cop friend sent me the following:
"If we only could, here's what we'd say."
1. "The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."
2. "Take you hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate worthless document."
3. "Remember, when you gotta cuff 'em... nobody is your friend."
4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
5. "That says POLICE, not INFORMATION!"
6. "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
7. "You can't outrun a radio."
8. "Yes Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
9. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
10. "If its worth stopping, its worth writing."
11. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
12. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop."
13. "Listen with your ears, not with your mouth."
14. "Handcuffs aren't designed for comfort."
15. "God made tomorrow for the crooks we don't catch today."
16. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
17. "God must love stupid people, 'cause he sure made a lot of them."
18. "Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."
19. "In God we trust, all others are suspects."
20. "Just how big were those two beers?"
21. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
22. "I'm glad to hear the Chief Of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."
"If we only could, here's what we'd say."
1. "The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."
2. "Take you hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate worthless document."
3. "Remember, when you gotta cuff 'em... nobody is your friend."
4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
5. "That says POLICE, not INFORMATION!"
6. "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
7. "You can't outrun a radio."
8. "Yes Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
9. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
10. "If its worth stopping, its worth writing."
11. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
12. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop."
13. "Listen with your ears, not with your mouth."
14. "Handcuffs aren't designed for comfort."
15. "God made tomorrow for the crooks we don't catch today."
16. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
17. "God must love stupid people, 'cause he sure made a lot of them."
18. "Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."
19. "In God we trust, all others are suspects."
20. "Just how big were those two beers?"
21. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
22. "I'm glad to hear the Chief Of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."
Certified Goat Breeder
Joined: Feb 1999
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From: the moral high ground
Officer, I'm going to have this baby right here if you don't get me to the hospital now!!!
(Always keep a pillow under the seat for this.)
[This message has been edited by Raoul (edited 11-06-1999).]
(Always keep a pillow under the seat for this.)
[This message has been edited by Raoul (edited 11-06-1999).]
Senior Member
Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 692
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From: Michigan Rocks and then some too!!!
Well for a start, you could say "Sir" a lot!
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"Moonlight Blue" 98 F150 SC XLT 2WD 4.6, 3.55 LS Tow Pkg. SUPERCHIP, K&N Airbox mod. w/ "Cool" intake, Mobil One Oil, Bosch +4's. Lund Fastback, Lighted visor, Runninng Boards, Crome Taillight covers, Polished Steel Fenderwell Moldings, Smoked Bug and Rain guards, Shelf-it, Carpet dash cover, Red Wings license plate in front, Red Wings license plate frame in back, Little Detroit Viper hanging from mirror, Oh yeah, and one "Blacked-out" grill.
Gonna get my Bed rails back on, Finally!
Can't find the right Polished steel design, so once I modify the powercoated ones, I will paint them.
Q: Black or Blue?
http://www.fortunecity.com/silverstone/daytona/843/
------------------
"Moonlight Blue" 98 F150 SC XLT 2WD 4.6, 3.55 LS Tow Pkg. SUPERCHIP, K&N Airbox mod. w/ "Cool" intake, Mobil One Oil, Bosch +4's. Lund Fastback, Lighted visor, Runninng Boards, Crome Taillight covers, Polished Steel Fenderwell Moldings, Smoked Bug and Rain guards, Shelf-it, Carpet dash cover, Red Wings license plate in front, Red Wings license plate frame in back, Little Detroit Viper hanging from mirror, Oh yeah, and one "Blacked-out" grill.
Gonna get my Bed rails back on, Finally!
Can't find the right Polished steel design, so once I modify the powercoated ones, I will paint them.
Q: Black or Blue?
http://www.fortunecity.com/silverstone/daytona/843/
Senior Member
Joined: May 1999
Posts: 378
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From: Bradenton, Fl. USA
A friend of mine got pulled over on a motorcycle a couple of years ago. He had the speedo buried. The officer asked him "Do you know how fast you were going?" He replied "No, the speedo stops at 120mph."
My former stepdad was approached in a parking lot for illegal parking. We were in his car waiting for my mom. the officer asked him if he had a driver's license and my stepdad said "yeah, don't you?"
My former stepdad was approached in a parking lot for illegal parking. We were in his car waiting for my mom. the officer asked him if he had a driver's license and my stepdad said "yeah, don't you?"
