just curious. Not to hijack, but to keep it lively in here:

For those saying "yes" to number one.... why ? What is the thinking behind just giving your child money ? You don't feel he should "earn" it in some way ? Just wondering, not looking down at either method in any way.

 

1. No - They were given what they needed until the were old enough to have part time jobs.

2. No, never. Why would you hit a child? You don't hit adults to punish them or get your point across. Whenever I've seen a child being hit, it's because of anger in the parent. If they are too young to understand, you are treating them no better than an animal. Learn to control your kid or keep them away from dangerous situations or things that **** you off.
If they are old enough to understand then you can reason with them.

 

If we did it would probably make adults behave better.

 

Could not disagree more. I work in the schools and wish more parent's would have spanked their children. When I got spanked it was never out of anger and when I spank my children it will not be out of anger. You must have enough self control to walk away and then come back to take care of the matter at hand. I will spank my children no matter what! If the state thinks it is wrong and believe that they can raise my children better than I can then they can have them!

 

I think you pretty much have to treat children like animales. Neither one can speak!!

 

EnglishAdam what a wuss you are . I remember grabbing one of my sons by the front of his shirt and picking him up to my face and he wetted himself. I never had to resort to a whippin but a good scare now and then will command attention. I remember what he did he disrespected his mom and i overheard him and when he seen me there he was like >>>

I did give them money but it was for things they do extra, like wash my truck,car, etc...

 

Wow.. what a suprise. There are things that most certainly deserve a spanking. Like something eminatly dangerous to the child. When you need to get there attention so that they are safe. Like running out in the street. The key is NEVER spank when you are angry. You spank a child out of love for them. Because you care and want to see them do well. Negotiating with a small child is the worse thing you could do. It empowers them and makes them the equal to the parent. The parent is boss. The child is a child. This teaches them respect and order. And they will have a far easier time in the real world of holding a job.

Like others, chores are for the family. Allowance is not part of chores.

 

i got spanked if i did wrong. talked back. was rude. or dis respectful to any elders. i got no allowance the only money i got from my parents was on birthday or christmas. i got 5 dollars for A's 2 dollars for B's thats it.

 

Ha ha. Not really Buck. I have a look similar to yours when I need it. When my kids were small, I could make them cry with my patented "Don't F with me" look. In fact, it still works pretty good and on some adults too. I don't what they think is going to happen because I'm not a violent man.

Why are your surprised Chris? There was and is plenty of discipline in my house. I just never had the need to hit either of my girls.
Like I said, when they were too young to understand danger, then they were not allowed to be in dangerous situations. Ever. If they did something like become inquisitive with electrical sockets (which had plastic blanks in them) then they were firmly told NO and taken away from them.
I am absolutely consistent with my yes and no and they soon learned. After all, they are smart and intelligent, just like me
As they got older, they were told why they shouldn't be doing what they were doing and what the consequences of their action would be.
Maybe that doesn't work for everybody but it worked for us.
Did they ever push the boundaries? Yes, of course. Did they ever make a wrong choice and get punished? Yes, of course too.
Punishments like being sent to their room (no tv or computer there), withdrawal of a special treat or something along those lines.
Most of all, I found the best punishment was the fact that they knew that I would be or was disappointed with their behavior.
In their eyes, I'm the greatest dad ever (as every kid should view their father) and the fact that they thought or knew that they would be letting me down was the best punishment of all.

So, did it work?
I have 2 great daughters now into adulthood. One is 20, at University, has held down part time jobs since she was 13 to pay for her needs and is one of the nicest young ladies you may ever meet.
The other is nearly 17, at college, but the same applies. Normal kids, well balanced, polite, helpful and very independent with a good sense of right and wrong.

The approach I took may not work for everyone but thats up you you. Go ahead, hit your kids all you want. They're your kids after all, it doesn't affect me in the slightest. I'm not saying you are right or wrong. What I am saying is that I personally don't need to hit a child to prove my point, win an argument or show that I love them.

 

There was no corpral punishment at my youngests school, sadly gotta teach these kids right from wrong & the consequences of there actions (as long as its not used for stupid things)

Yes, we used to let them have an alowance of $10 a week.

 

That's the main thing, your not one of these people screaming if you spank your kids you should be put in jail. If you didn't need to spank your kids then that is fine and I am glad it worked for you. If I need to spank mine, its really no one's business.

 

1. Yes
2. Yes

Bascially i got an allowance ervery week when i was growing up until I was old enough to earn it myself (8 yrs old mowing grass). The money wasnt free, I had a bunch of chores I had to do by Saturday, if they werent done i got no money.

And i was spanked as a child, basically i was told what i did wrong, even though I already knew what i had done (if your kid doesnt know right from wrong then its your fault as a parent), and i was bent over my fathers knee and spanked. When I was in elementary and middle school, you got three strikes, after the third you got sent to the principles office where you were spanked with a paddle (they always had a witness). I do disagree with people when i see a child acting up in the store and the mothers yankin the kid around by one hand and slapping the **** out of his *** with the other. Theres no excuse for that. As long as you tell your kid whats going on in a calmly manner then i dont see a problem with it.

 

1) Yes and No. My son is 15 months old and I have been putting $50 each pay period away for a college fund if needed. I'm not gonna just hand it over to him though.

2) Yes and having a hard time right now. Right now Caleb always throws his food at the dinner table and I want to yell at him. I do "raise my voice", but he just laughs. I'm sure it would be different if I really yelled at him. But he's only 15 months so I guess it's a bit early for REAL punishment.

 

I never got allowance but did chores all the time like washing the car and mowing the grass, dishes etc. I would not get an allowance but if i wanted to go to a movie my mom would give me ten bucks for the ticket. i dont know if thats considered an allowance or not.

and if i ever talked back to my mom or even said no then man i would get whooped. But it all worked out to my benefit because it taught me to respect other people and it taught me discipline.

a friend i had never got disciplined and would yell and swear at his mom and would always get away with it, one time my mom was yelling at him for being an idiot and he yelled back and my mom grabbed him and smacked him in the butt. He never talked back to my mom again.

 

Something I noticed about staunch conservatives where I live....
They are liberal at home...wife wears the pants...bad kids get away with and get any and everything.

Most liberals I know including my parents felt since you had a roof over your head, free education, free health care, free food...No unearned rewards, no allowance, except Christmas and Birthdays...maybe.
My Father used to say if you need more than you already have...go earn it.

I have also heard a few say there is never a reason to hit a child and I think everything has a time and place. Some kids are compliant and some are rebellious. I never got a whippin I didn't deserve...matter of fact they missed a few I should have gotten. As I got older it didnt work as well since punishments lasted much longer.

I did find with one of my daughters I had to continually escalate....once I told her keep it up and I will get rid of you and have another one just like you.
She chilled.

I must say you guys are real conservatives who walk the talk...even at home.

Nobody else here ever combs the wife or girlfriends hair back?