This story about an old retired guy was emailed to me. I thought it was funny. Sue me if it's a repost.

Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina Dog Chow for my loyal pet, Bronco (the Wonder Dog) and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because the last time I ended up in the hospital. But, I explained that I had lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and I had IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is you load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit both of us.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.

 

Lmfao!!!!

 

I have heard it before. Don't know if it is a repost or not, but it is still funny! What Blue were you talking about? Not me, I was retired for 3 weeks, couldn't handle it!

 

Yep, you. With the time you have to hang out here (and congrats on the Mod gig), I figure you're loaded with stories ready for a moments notice.

 

Sounds like a nice way of saying full of BS!


Thanks!

 

Too funny! No wonder you don't go to Wal Mart any more Blue!

 

Your my boy blue!

 

oldschool

 

Blue can only eat kibble when his teeth are in.

 

funny as hell

 

That explains the stories I have heard where old blue is howeling at the moon most evenings..... bwahahahaha