Lets hear what the funniest thing you've ever heard was.... heres mine!

(While playing COD4 on Xbox Live) "ARGH! Bullets my only weakness! How did you know!?"

 

We were describing to one guy what a donkey punch was when my buddy who walked in halfway through the convo and asked straight face as can be, dead serious, "how hard do you hit her?"

 

Don't worry. As you get older, you'll have much better examples to share.

 

Aghh the good ol donkey punch, reminds me of a younger, simpler time

 

My and some friends were hammered, playing volleyball in his pool when my buddy hit the ball with the top of his hand in an upward motion and scored the game point. You know the gay sign when u flap your wrist at someone, the opposite of that.

He called the move the reverse-gay. It was funny as hell!

But for some reason I feel gay writing this post.

You had to be there probably.

 

When we were looking at new couches last year my GF argued with me that "our floor is not brown, it's wood".....

 

 

I heard this black lady screaming at her kid once for playing to close to the water, we we're on the beach just off of Lake Michigan...

She said "Boy what's wrong with you, ain't you got no brains. How'd you gets to be so dumb?"

Gee, I wonder That my friends, is phenominal parenting.

 

Best 2 I've heard.

We had a guy here that was doing some of our internet stuff at the time and he calls fedex so he can ship a pallet and all we here on our end is " Hi this is Andy from Tasca Ford I have an extremely large package" it was a girl on the other end of the phone.

Sister's boyfriend is standing on my parents deck and he turns to his friend and says" Hey you know what kind of wood this is? This is lumber, I'm in shop class"

 

I was at a buddy's house; and, he had the wheels off his lawnmower, when his wife came out to ask if he needed anything while she was out. He handed her a broken cotter pin, and told her to go by the hardware store for him. She asked what it was, and he said... "It's a wiggly pin for a wobbly bolt."


We got a phone call from the hardware store. She was NOT happy.

 

True story:

I was on the roof moving some shingle bundles around early one summer's evening. My wife (girlfriend at the time) was on the ground being visibly bothered by the mosquitoes as she was swatting at them, etc. So I say to her "Why don't you come up here with me, they aren't bothering me up here...". Then she says, "Why? They can't fly that high?"

I have several other quotes I could share from her, but that was my favorite. She's not even blonde....

 

One of my good friend's is a dumbie.

Used to live in some apts called Cameron Creek Apts. Taking him over there to show him the place, he asks, "Yall have a coffee shop?"

At the same apt a few weeks later we were playing some video games. He's laying on the floor on his stomach with his feet resting on a night table. Halfway through raiding some terrorists camps, he knocks over the lamp on the table. About 10 minutes later, he asks, "Should I pick it up now?" It was great.

 

and


Oh the irony!

 

My wife wanted to know how they could get the airplanes off an aircraft carrier when the ship comes into port. She's like, "Do they use a big crane, or what? I mean, the ship is so high off the ground."

Me: If they need to get them off the ship, they fly them off, dear.

Her: Oh.



Lots of other examples. One time my mother in law (blonde) was doing jello shots with the whole family when we were out to dinner. She had had a couple, and started knocking herself in the forehead with her knuckles while saying "I can't feel my head! I've got a numb skull!" And she was serious, even a little worried about it. It was hilarious.

 

my and my buddie were talking about what his major was going to be and how he was thinking about psychology, this was his reasoning:

"psychology would be fun, i think i would like mind ****ing people all day"