I have been on this form for a wile, and im going through some $h!t the last 6 months to a year, im posting this here to mabe find someone in the same situation, or idk.. something. But anyways, We have been going out since July 05 and we have been broken up i think 4 time including now.. the first two where me, i think it was within the first year. but that was because this was my firse long term realationship. and i guess i was kinda sccared, and also there where outher girls i thought about going out with but i never did... then after i got back from my last deployment (Sept06) she broke up with me. she said that while i was gone she became "independent." basicly she could hang with her freinds and didn't have to feel bad that she wasnt with me.. that was our longest break up till now the first two where only a week this the one in 06 was like 2 or 3... but during the 3 weeks we where split up i started talking to this outer girl, who i shouldn't have in the first place, she was 17, but i was still tring to get back with her when i was still messing around with the outher girl. I know bad me.. and the worst part i went to talk to her with a hickey on my neck... didn't help... but evenchley she did come back... I think that leads us to this time... ok, for the entire time we where going out she never was real affrchenet, like i wanted, i had to run her down for a kiss goodbye... the only time she was, was when her "friend" was visting, and she was horny... witch i liked... but since i moved out of the dorms she just started to be more and more distant... we where "together" less and less (you know what i mean). I had planed for her to move in with me, she still lives with mom and has a 10 or 12pm curfew. that kinda make it hard to be "together" ya know...? we only slep together allnight one weekend in April when i took her to Dallas to her sisters, and to a Mavrics game where i proposed... ( she said yes...) but on Sept 27 of last year, we where at walmart getting her nails done, while we where at wallmart and on the drive home, she was flirting and scraching my arms with her new nails, and i thought i was going to get some later... But there was a tv show comming on that i really wanted to watch that started 15 mins before we left, and she knew this... so on the way home she wanted to stop by the tatto shop right off base, witch made me mad cuz she used to go up there alot and theres nothing but guys there. so i pull in kinda fast, spinning my tires, pissed off and we went inside and she just started BSing... she told me to just leave here there so i turned around and she followed. when we got to my appartment she got out and got into her car and tried to leave. I tried to explain myself and appolgize for the way i was acting. but she never fights... she just clams up and that just pisses me off more.. she didnt want to hear it. and thats really it... we still talk she wants to be friends, but i still love her very much and friendship is hard to do with someone you where with for that long and planed to marry. now she is dating someone elce and it kills me... and im half way around the world cant do anything about it, I really love this girl, and want to be with her. i think about her every min. here there really isn't much elce for me to think about. can anyone help? what should i do?

 

im sorry to hear that man. same position bro and it blows hard core. whenever i think about her i get upset and sad so i go on this site or a Scout II website and stay there for hours, if that doesn't work i think about everything i can possibly do to my truck or scout...good luck

 

i wouldnt say my position is as extreme as yours is, but just ask her to come over n just talk. Talk for hours, about anything to get it out. Tell her how you feel when she goes to those places with other guys. Get her to tell you how she feels about things you do. good luck.

 

In the same deal, was with the ex on and off for 2.5 years, she ditched me in october. The best thing I have found is not to talk to them. Don't call them, text them, email, im, etc. Let them get a hold of you, there is nothing that bugs a woman worse than loosing control of something/one they think they have a hold on. I know it is hard not to, esp. if you truly believe it is something. But good luck.

 

Ok, I'm not an expert but here we go.....
If ya'll broke up more than once and things still weren't right/good, that's a clue. It sounds like ya'll are young, under 25? People change A LOT from early 20 till late 20's. Even if things were/are perfect at a young age they will likely change a lot before you hit 30. It's better to take a step back and look at all the good AND bad before you try to get back together. Get some good buddies, hit a bar (if you are in a country that has bars....sounds like you're deployed now) have some beers and bitch to your buddies.......

Well, those things work for me... Good luck.

 

While i belive this method works with relationships, im not sure if its the best to practice this with a woman he is planning on marrying. He wont be able to just stop talking to her everytime they disagree on something in marriage.

 

In my freshman year I started going out with my first g/f. It lasted a month. We broke up, badly. Didn't talk for a year. Sophmore year I had a huge crush on her still and I tried this method. We RARELY talked. And now, at the beginning of 11th grade, we were hanging out as friends and she told me she has the biggest crush on me. We've been going out happily for almost 3 months now.

Moral: This method works, but be prepared for it cause it takes a while.

 

Same thing happened to me, then I went off to college and she stabbed me in the back Good luck man I'm praying yours goes the other way

 

Well, you're right I am deployed, i've got right at a month left, i get 3 beers/shots aday, but i dont drink, i just dont really like to... and i am only 23, she's almost 21. I know ppl change, i think thats what happened here. i know i need to basicly let her be, thats real hard being here, looking for some kind of support from back home... I just see her now and i can see the woman she will become.. she is the coolest girl i have ever known. I guess i'll just have to wait it out, and hope for the best.

but there is something good coming my way... when i get back im selling my truck and getting a True Blue Lightning I cant wait!!! haha

 

Dude, just forget her. Like said earlier, breaking up 4 times is a hint. Its not gonna get better. Almost the same thing happened to me. My and my girl were the same exact way, I proposed she said yes, then all of a sudden she was hanging out with other guys more than me. Thats when she broke it off.

Just let her go, its not easy but better in the long run.

 

dump her ***

 

Man i went through the same thing. We dated for about 4 1/2 years and broke up a couple times after we hit the 3 year mark. It just seemed we both are changing and we were clashing and fighting a lot. If you can just try not to have any communication with her at all if you have already been. if you really need to talk to her then like stated above maybe sit her down when you get back and express how you feel and see where that goes. If its meant to be than something good will come of it now or in a year just have faith. Good luck bro

 

If you marry a girl that acts like that, I give your marriage maybe one year to last. It ain't right, break it off. You are thinking with the wrong head.

 

I always hate to hear when a soldier is deployed and their relationship goes bad at that point....You have my sympathy and appreciation for serving!
At least you sound like you've got a good point of view on things.

 

Hey thanks... i really do like it here its like my 2ed home haha... i dont post that much... but im allways on and allways watching I think you all really did help... i have a whole new look on the situation... thanks to all