My condolences. It can be very hard taking care of aging family members.

Sometimes you feel guilty because of the relief from the burden. I know my mother did when my grandmother passed away.

It was very hard on her.

 

That is my biggest fear now is that she will start feeling guilty.

I have told my family all of them, not to ever let me be under 24 hour care. EVER. if tehy cant bring themselfs to.. well you know... take me out. Then atleast pay someone else to take care of me, I dont want any of them to feel the need or feel obligated to do it.

 

I feel the same way but love does that to you.

My mother has said the same thing but I know between my sister and I she will get the best home care possible. She has done so much for us I could never repay her. She will be taken care of if it kills me.

She may feel some guilt that is natural. I truly believe we are only given what we can handle and maybe the time was just right for your grandmother to be relieved of her caregiving duties. Her mother obviously had loving family, people can only hope to have that kind of people in their lives.

 

I now it's to much to ask, my mom has asked the same thing and there is no way in haites it's happeneing. She has us 4 boys, we can pool our money if we have to and hire care or what ever is needed. I'll sell everything I own if I have to.

 

I've never been good at this kind of stuff; but, your family has been in my thoughts since you first posted. I hope the best for all involved.

 

I'm so sorry Matt. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

 

My heart goes out to you Matt. May she rest now, in eternal peace

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*--*

Come with me
- Author Unknown

God saw that you were suffering
and a cure was not to be,
So He put His arms around you
and whispered, "Come with me".
Through tear filled eyes
we watched you suffer
and slowly fade away.
Although we loved you deeply,
we could not make you stay.
A golden heart stopped beating,
Hard working hands were put to rest.
God broke our hearts to prove to us
He only takes the best.

 

Your great-grandma is now up in heaven with my mom and all of my grandparents, probably playing one hell of a Pinochle or Bridge game.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, Matt.

 

Matt, she is now in a better place. Celebrate her life.

 

Matt, I'm sorry. That was a tough one to have to go through.

We had to watch our grandmother who had alzheimer's die in the same manner (starvation). Alzheimer's disease is truly evil. If you survive the duration (My Grandma had it over a decade) it eventually robs you of your brain function and reverts a grown adult back to an infant state, making them totally dependent on others to survive. Years before she passed, the disease took her swallowing function, so my Mom and my uncles decided to have a feeding tube inserted. Well a few years passed and the disease took her digestive function, so over a weeks' timespan alzheimer's basically starved and dehydrated hers to death. It was not a pretty sight, but the hospice center staff were true professionals. Those people are good at what they do.

We'll (Me and the family) say a few more prayers for you and yours. I know how tough it has been for you. That's an awful way to see a loved one pass, but you must remember to celebrate her life and cherish the time you all spent together.

 

My biggest regret is that just a few weeks ago maybe 3, during a visit, she was in perfect health at that time. Well perfect for 97 years old anyway. During that paticular visit I had said kind of out of no where, that I wanted to get a 5 generation photo with grandma, granny, my dad, myself and my kids. Thats is as far as I went with it, Kept procrastinating and never got around to organizing it. We have one from about 11 years ago at my oldest daughters baby shower, with her, but we never did a 5 gen, with my youngest daughter in it.

Thats just kind of a slap in my face a litle wake up call, to stop procrastinating things, we don't always have tomarrow.
I knew her days were numbered, I just didnt realize her days were numbered, if that makes any sense.

 

I didn't have a chance on my side of the family for a 5 gen pic, but my wife still has that chance.. We missed an opportunity to get that pic for my wife about a month ago. Hopefully, we can get it at Christmas.

Again, peace be to you and yours.

 

Did you read the hospice book?
That is a very interesting piece of publication. It's people stories and what they experinced during thier loved ones passing.
I read it about 12 years ago when my wife and I was dating, before her grandma died she was under hospice home care at my mother inlawas house. I read it then.
I was there when her grandma died, got the call at work and took off to go be with her. She just kind of closed her eyes, her face relaxed and then she stopped breathing.

How ever many stories in the hospice book were similar to my great grand mas, where there were some type of hulicinations. Some say soon beofre they pass that they see loved ones that have passed before coming for them, others say they see angels.
My grandma seeing little people and tehy were tearing up her apartment, and moving a stuff in, like an old wood cook stove, Grandma couldnt understand why when they could use her electric stove.
Some of the little people were mean some where nice. They started fighting and were shooting each other. But then there was this woman and a little girl that grandma liked. They followed her to the hospital, and during the first test gave grandma the money to pay the hospitla bill.... it was a kleenex....
She aslo kept hearing singing. Paticularly someone singing Amazing Grace and Precious Memories ( I think was the second one).

So Monday my dad, my brother and myself are sinnging Amazing Grace and another one that dad and I use to sing alot together when I was a kid that grandma liked. I cant remember the name of it right now, we are practicing tomarrow. But those two at her funeral. My dad and I havent sung together since I was about 12 years old. After I went though puberty I became a bass too. So now I'm working my voice trying to become a tenor for monday.
Over teh years our styles have changed to two totally different styles. My other brother who is also a bass has a similar style to dads. So one of us has to be a tenor.....

 

I would encourage you to definatly set that up.
It wont mean as much to you but it could mean alot to your wife.

 

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, God bless her and you and your family. Such a great loss.