More....How To Drive In Jersey
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From: New Jersey
More....How To Drive In Jersey
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is Nork - rhymes with Fork, not New-ark.
2. The morning rush hour is from 5 AM to NOON. The evening rush hour is from NOON to 7 PM. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
3. The minimum acceptable speed on the turnpike is 85 mph. On the parkway it's 105 or 110. Anything less is considered "Sissy." (Just ask the Governor of NJ)
4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Jersey has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second; However, in Monmouth county, SUV-driving, cellphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you wi ll be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.
6. Never honk at anyone. EVER ! Seriously. It's another offense that can get you shot.
7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of Jersey. Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.
8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats, barrels, cones, celebs, rubber-neckers, shredded tires, cell-phoners, deer and other road kill, and the Homeless feeding on any of these items.
9. MapQuest does NOT work here -- none of the roads are where they say they are or go where they say they do and all the Turnpike EZ Pass lanes are moved each night once again to make your ride more exciting.
10. If someone actually has their Turn Signal ON, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."
11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
12. Do not try to estimate travel time -- just leave Monday afternoon for Tuesday appointments, by noon Thursday for Friday appointments, and right after church on Sunday for anything on Monday morning.
SAFE DRIVING ! ! !
2. The morning rush hour is from 5 AM to NOON. The evening rush hour is from NOON to 7 PM. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
3. The minimum acceptable speed on the turnpike is 85 mph. On the parkway it's 105 or 110. Anything less is considered "Sissy." (Just ask the Governor of NJ)
4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Jersey has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second; However, in Monmouth county, SUV-driving, cellphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you wi ll be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.
6. Never honk at anyone. EVER ! Seriously. It's another offense that can get you shot.
7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of Jersey. Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.
8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats, barrels, cones, celebs, rubber-neckers, shredded tires, cell-phoners, deer and other road kill, and the Homeless feeding on any of these items.
9. MapQuest does NOT work here -- none of the roads are where they say they are or go where they say they do and all the Turnpike EZ Pass lanes are moved each night once again to make your ride more exciting.
10. If someone actually has their Turn Signal ON, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."
11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
12. Do not try to estimate travel time -- just leave Monday afternoon for Tuesday appointments, by noon Thursday for Friday appointments, and right after church on Sunday for anything on Monday morning.
SAFE DRIVING ! ! !
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From: Burleson/Athens/Brownsboro, TX
Originally Posted by lovetrucks
No I wasn't.
No I wasn't.
I never type and drive. Well, I rarely do.
No I wasn't.
I never type and drive. Well, I rarely do.
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Jim
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From: Native New Yorker
Now thats funny and sad thing is it is true....BTW im an ex new yorker stranded in south florida which is now deemed the small apple of the south. i left NYC because of the traffic and weather now its happening all over again but its like 93* in december
funny thing is there are 8 million people in nyc(all 5 boroughs) and now there are 4 million people in just broward county(fort lauderdale)
funny thing is there are 8 million people in nyc(all 5 boroughs) and now there are 4 million people in just broward county(fort lauderdale)
Last edited by Screw-Me-05; Sep 12, 2007 at 06:26 PM.
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From: Burleson/Athens/Brownsboro, TX
Originally Posted by BREWDUDE
Bunch of damn sissies....you don't know what you're missin'
BREW
BREW
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Jim
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From: Somewhere near the back of beyond
Originally Posted by BREWDUDE
Bunch of damn sissies....you don't know what you're missin'
BREW
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From: Jacksonville, FL
So how come when you guys come down here you seem to forget all of that? Just because you're in Florida doesn't mean you HAVE to do half the speed limit everywhere...
I wish all the snowbirds that came down here drove like that.
I wish all the snowbirds that came down here drove like that.