This one must be funny, it's made the list twice so far.

 

She's so loose it's like throwing a pickle down a hallway.

 

Happier than a tick on a dead dog!

 

I met May in June, or was that June in May.... Dang I mis April.

 

I never had a ten but I had five two's in one night..... I think that ought to count.

 

 

My friend and I over heard a fat girl yell out, "I gotta haul a$$."

I said to my friend, "That's gonna take a couple of trips."

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2x7AF...elated&search=

 

does a one legged duck swim in circles?

 

He's all right in a way...he just doesn't weigh enough.

There are two kinds of pedestrians... the quick and the dead.

That's my opinion, if you don't like it I have others.

Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.

 

-If I wanted to hear your two cents worth, I would have yanked your chain. (This is a famous saying in our family)

-I'll knock your teeth so far down your neck you'll have to drop your pants to chew your food, and clear your throat to fart.

-If a chicken and a half, laid an egg and a half, in a day and a half, how long would it take a rooster with a wooden leg to stomp a hole in the ground?

 

This thing (usually in reference to a chainsaw) is seized up tighter than (insert buddy's frigid wife's name here) ******!

 

I am about as motivated as O.J. is to find his wife's killer...

This place is emptier than Charlie Sheen's liquor cabinet...

Bartender, make it a Jack and Coke...and I ain't driving...

Ninja please...

 

Wow... I guess F151 can't even count to ONE

 

...wreck'd um? Damn near killed him!