Hey people. After reading the whole post about the guy and his girl issues and the good advise you guys gave him i have something I could use some help with...
Basically since I've been in highschool I've had what my doctor said is social anxiety disorder. Well now I'm 17 years old and a senior and its really starting to **** me off. My doctor has tried prescribing me zoloft and another prescription which i cant remember, and I had to stop taking both of these because within a few days of taking them I started feeling horrible.
It sucks because when I'm at home I'm a completely different person. And I always promise myself that tomorrow I'm gonna do better, talk more, and all that. and i never can make it happen. What really sucks is that I've had the chance to go out with some pretty good looking girls, but I've basically blown my chances because of my lack of talking. The only time i can talk to people comfortably outside of my house is when theres alcohol involved.. lol.. but i stopped that habit. Well now I have a girlfriend and I'm afraid I'm gonna end up losing her because of my quietness.... This is so frustrating... And well, If you guys know what I'm going through or have any advice i'd really appreciate it.. Thanks in advance..

-David

 

Hey David, sorry to hear you are dealing with this disorder. I'm no doctor, but i've been known to give some good advice ( just ask LT ) anyway, since you have a girlfriend now and you seem to like her enough to be worried about losing her make sure she knows what you are going thru. I think she could be a great help in getting you over the hump and able to interact with people on a daily basis without worrying about it. The main thing is that she knows about the disorder and she also knows that you care for her and are trying your best to get over this. Once you feel comfortable with her, I bet together you guys can work thru your issues...

Good luck and remember...they are only people like you and I. Talking to and interacting with them is what life is all about. Some people will like you, some will love you and some will hate you. Take the good with the bad, pick your friends and stay away from those who dont care for you...above all, remember...they wont bite you just for talking to them.


One more thing..if you just cant seem to talk to your girlfriend and tell her whats going on..write her a letter and ask her to read it when you are not with her. I think this might help until you can get a little more comfortable talking with her.



BREW

 

Sounds like a weird disorder!

So what, you just feel too nervous to talk to people in a public setting? Even someone as close as a girlfriend?

Out of curiosity, how did you even get a girlfriend in the first place if you're so uncomfortable talking to her?

 

Here's a link to Social Anxiety Disorder:

http://panicdisorder.about.com/cs/so...ialanxiety.htm

There are many medications out there now that can help with this type disorder. Don't give up because 1 or 2 didn't work. These medications are the same as any other medications. Your body needs time to make the adjustments. Talk therapy is also a way to deal with it. The best thing to do is talk to your doctor again. If you're not happy with him/her, then go to another one. And remember, you're not alone. There are many people out there that go through this type of disorder as well as other types. Most people are just not willing to talk about them. I give you credit for opening up and asking for help. Good luck with everything.

And Brew....good advice.

 

don't worry about it......people suck anyway.....your better off without them.....

 

Pretty much when I'm around a lot of people I just get nervous, and its like i just cant talk.. I cant explain it. I'm not really uncomfortable talking to her anymore, I've talked to her since last year.. we just started going out about a month ago.. [and to respond to what BREW said I've told her all about it, and she understands what i'm going through..]
To get comfortable talking to people takes about a month or two of awkward chit-chat.. but after that i'm a bit better. But even when i'm talking to my friends that i've known for years i'm still not close to as talkative as i wanna be.. and well, i guess i'm just afraid that i'm going to end up losing her to someone who has "more to offer" than i do... ya know..

(heres a site that tells a little bit about it: http://www.webmd.com/hw/mental_health/hw177278.asp)

-Dave

 

Good link LT, thats a better one than what i found. thank you.. and thank you too BREW. Any other thoughts any of you guys have are greatly appreciated..

-Dave

 

Seeking advice this serious from a bunch of truck drivers is a mistake.

That's the best advice I can give.

 

First of all, as you already have a girl friend it demonstrates that you must of at least spoken to her and had some interaction with her. Although this does not guarantee that you would be able to discuss this with her, try to. Asking an individual you are close to like this can go a long way to helping you cope with SAD.

Also suggested was a letter if you find you are unable to talk. You wrote of your problem here in a public forum (not a small thing) so if you feel you need to, do so with her.

Either way, once she is aware of what you are going through then you have established a foundation for her understanding, which will go a long way to avoiding the outcome you fear, which is driving her away.

That said, here's the rest.

(Disclaimer: I am not a doctor and no longer practice psychotherapy. These are merely recommendations you may wish to follow up on and are not endorsements to do anything in particular).

Consider seeing a therapist. They can go a long way toward helping you to cope with SAD. The interaction with someone who is both qualified in this area as well as just being a human being you can interact with is a BIG help in such cases.

You said you've been Rx'd Zoloft and another med so that means you are seeing an MD. That's good. Keep in mind you've only tried two meds. In psychopharmocology it's a hit or miss proposition more times than not. This is especially true of anti-depressants. What may work for some may not work for others and it may take numerous tries with different meds before you find one that works for you. However, meds alone is not a great idea. Studies show that meds in conjunction with therapy offers the best results. (Not only that but it allows a qualified therapist to monitor your progress while you are on the meds.)

Oh, and by the way, therapy need not be a $200 an hour affair. There are many clinics that offer services at little or no cost. I once worked at a clinic where many $200 an hour doctors worked for free as a way for folks who couldn't afford it to receive services. Also, you are in school. Many times the school districts offer free services to students.

That said, there are many meds your doctor may want to Rx.

You mentioned Zoloft, which is an SSRI (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor) In the SSRI class of drugs are Celexa. Lexapro, Prozac, Luvox, and Paxil. Just because Zoloft didn't work for you, it does not mean that other SSRIs will not work. I have seen patients not respond to zoloft but who responded well to Paxil.

SAD can be treated with other meds other than SSRIs. Among those would be Effexor (which is an SNRI).

Also, benzodiazepines are used for SAD. These are such drugs as Klonopin, Xanaz, Valium, Atavin, and Serax. Benzodiazepines have been pretty effective for SAD however long term use can cause dependancy.

There are also MOAIs which were pretty effective on SAD but are not used as much, however they still prove to be effective for some people when other meds don't work. The same can be said for certain Beta-Blockers.

The point is you should see a therapist and monitor with them any Rx'd meds. It may take numerous attempts on different meds until you find one that works, but it is worth the effort. Don't give up so soon with only two tries not working.

See your doc and good luck.

 

Hey David. I have a good friend at work and he has the same issue as you, and it sucks to see him be that way. He is a really interesting person and for the most part has some really interesting stuff to talk about. He and I talk about his issue alot and I think it helps, and he has seemed to get better over the past three years of us working together. I see him clam up in situtations when he doesn't know the people around us, ie: new people coming through the office, giving a presentation, etc. Like I said, he is a great guy and has tons of interesting stuff to talk about, and I'll bet you do too. Just start off slow, and the more you talk, the more confidence you will gain over time. As far as you GF goes, if she really likes you, she will understand, just tell her EXACTLY what's going on with you.

Here's the way I look at it, think of yourself and the most interesting person on earth and everyone wants to hear what you have to say and just try to beleive that and you will get better. For the people who do act like and *** and joke becasue you are by nature quite, then I say screw them, they are truly the ones with issues, not you. Good luck man, and by no means and I am Doctor, I'm just giving you my opinion....

 

Thanks a lot you guys for all your input so far.. just so you know i have told my GF all about what i'm dealing with.. and she seems understanding about it. i think that if me, her, and some of my friends hang out together outside of school it would make things a helluva lot more comfortable.. unfortunatly the only time we see each other is in school.. which is when my SAD is its worst.
by next weekend i should have my truck running again, so hopefully we can actually spend time together outta school.. but this is seriously so infuriating. i just wish i could be myself whenever i want.. but i cant make myself talk how i want to in school no matter how hard i try..

-David

 

hey man...i know exactly what you are going though. I experience the same thing....but never been to a doctor about it. Its funny, i use to talk to all the time until i hit 8-9th grade. Then it was like suddenly i just stoped. I dont have any trouble talking to my close friends, but when it comes to anyone else...i just seem to stay quite. I dont know why either....usually i talk and then suddenly i just go quite and everyone tells me to talk more...but i cant. Part of my problem was that in elementary school i had a speech problem and was made fun of when i would mess up and it still bothers me today. I just try to talk to people more everyday so i get more comfortable. However, its the hardest to start a conversation. I have just gotten use to it though....i think

 

Advise only based on limited knowledge of the situation:

Listen to Kobi, he has been my online therapist for 2 years now.

I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that it's SAD based of one Medical Doctor'ss assessment, it could just be shy, or timid or intimidated. Medical doctors treat the body not the mind. They have been schooled in medicene, not pyschological diagnosis and treatments. Sometimes nothing can help and it is up to the patient to heal thierselfs. Talking to someone and being given a direction with things to focus on does aid in the process though.

As a social butterfly I can not phathom having or dealing with this paticular disorder.

Although at one time I was more shy.....

Everyone of us is uncomfrotable meeting new people. There is so much uncertaintity, and basic human nature dictates that we are all scared of the unkown. Sometimes breaking the ice is harder than others, but I have found that 100% of the time, comedy works for me.

Try this,
Tell a joke, even if it's corny or not really funny it still gets conversation flowing.
Ask alot of questions... this puts you in control of the situation and conversation.


One thing that jumps out at me and I have to find out more....

What exactly do you mean by you wish you could be yourself?

How exactly are you different?
Do your thoughts change?
Do your interest change?
Do your intentions change?
Does your personal moral change?
Does your inhibition change?
Does your intelligence change?

What is it about you that changes to make you not be yourself?

 

hey, i know exactly how you feel. when i was in elementary school i had a speech problem too.. i had to have my tongue "clipped" when i was little.. and i had speech therapy classes for a long time, i think until fourth grade. after that i got rid of the lisp, but i still think i have a weird voice today.. i always talked a lot in elementary school, and no one made fun of me until 7th grade, which i guess is more or less when it technically started. in 8th grade though i was fine i think.. but then highschool came and i basically shut down socially.. since freshman year it has slowly gotten better, but its still no wheres near how i want to be.

David

 

yeah, i took a speech type class thing too until 5th grade, and my middle school didnt have anything like that.....i am always afraid i will mumble, shutter, or just plainly say a word funny. Like, i can say royal in my head fine, but when i actually say it, it doesnt sound right.....same with the word world. when i am out with a buddy and a group of his friends i dont know too well, i just seem to sit there in silence and listen. I try to start talking, then just freeze after saying a sentence or so.