Old enough.

 

I honestly don't get the whole bachelor/bachelorette last hurrah at a strip club thing. Especially when you know it will bother the other person. Closer has every right to be concerned. We all know things can happen when you drink alcohol. Your inhibitions are lowered. I think this is his concern. I don't think trust is an issue for him. However, strip clubs for women to go to are alot different than strip clubs for men. It's more of a party atmosphere with lots of laughs. Or so I've heard.

 

GOOD GRIEF!

 

A few bvasic facts.....Most of the male dancers are gay. They are not allowed to leave with any patrons. It is a purely a form of entertainment. The dancers do not want to have sex with your fiance. There are no males (other than the dancers) in the club...much less "dangerous" than a regular dance club. Simmer down and relax.

Let her go and have fun and be waiting with flowers when she gets home. Be a prince, not a toad.

 

Thank you! I don't understand it at all... I have found the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with I have no interest strip clubs, and going crazy for some bachelor party. That doesn't mean I don't like to look at women anymore, just means I no longer have the same interests as before.

While she's off getting drunk with her horny friends I'll probably just still be trying to get our wedding car running...

I hope that's all it is...

 

I think that's all I wanted to hear, seriously... except I assume you meant DON'T...

and I also want to clarify that when I say I'm possesive this is the first time in our 3+ year relationship that I have ever in any way shape or form had a problem with her going anywhere or doing anything. She goes "clubbing", has girl's night out, etc, etc and I never have a problem with any of it. I let her go she does her thing, and I'm there when she gets home. She usually doesn't drink much, but this time its all different, and it worries me... that is all... I do feel better now, after the last few post from the ladies.

I don't care what anyone says this world is completely different for men than it is women. I worry about her, I'd be crazy not to...

 

Closer, she seems to have a lot of upfront and personal knowledge. She prolly did mean do!

 

Sorry, TYPO Dont forget the flowers

 

Fixed it.

 

Well since you've edited your first posts then I'm going to take that as the subject is closed so I'm not going to put in my 2 cents.....

But for this one........

DUUUUUDE, a wedding nor engagment is really not a funeral, that is just an old joke. Don't take it so litterally. Of course you're still going to want to see ******* and drink beer, that means your alive.



bites tongue
bites tongue
bites tongue


I can't, I have to say it.....

From a man who learned the hard way; been there, done that = not good....
It's a dangerous road your traveling full of severe heartaches.

 

I hear what your saying, and I'm sure one of these days if my buddies want to head out to the titty bar I wouldn't say no, but honestly right now I have no desire to go...

and if you have more to add, please feel free. I'm just not one to talk about my "feelings", etc... too much of a typical male I guess. So, I deleted things, because that's just me...

I really do feel better about her going out this weekend, whether I understand it or not... I truly trust her... Its everyone else I worry about.

 

I'm lost. I tune in late and miss closer9's deleted posts. Maybe the whole thread should be deleted if the originator is so insecure.

 

Alright I'll try to start from the top and work to the present since I'm late.

1st
I'll second Kobi's recomendation of counseling. Not because of this incident but I truely feel that pre marital counseling smooths over sooooo much. Especially in the first year as your building the foundation for the rest of your lifes. Now it don't have to be marriage counseling at a "marriage counseler". Most preachers offer Pre marital counseling free. TAKE IT!!!

Situations like this would be totally avoided with PM counesling, because one of the main things that get covered is "Expectations". I am pretty sure that you would be surprised at how different your expectaions are than hers. This paticular incident is a manifestaion of those differences. Neither of you will beable to understand why the other would expect these things.

~break~

Present


This is not going to ease your worries, there is really not an easy way to break it to you. For the rest of your life, "somebody" is going to be flirting with her. Maybe while she is in traffic, maybe at the grocery store, maybe at the gym, maybe while picking the kids up at school, maybe while at work, maybe even at church. Somebody is going to be flirting and maybe even hitting on her. No you can't trust ANYONE else, in this day and age, not even YOUR OWN best friends.

With that in mind you really only have four options:

1: Quit work and follow her 24/7, make sure a smooth tongue doesn't try to get in on your action.

2: Lock her away and make sure she never goes anywhere or talks to anyone with out you there by her side.

3: Place restrictions on where she goes and who she goes with or talks to, according to what you feel is safe in order for her to remain faithful to you.

4: Trust her!

Now, keep in mind that she is not the only one facing temptaions, getting flirted with and even hit on. You are too! So how should she address these same threats and why?
She is faced with the same four options for you, 1., 2., 3., or 4.


I hope this makes since.

 

I think some of you have misunderstood me. I'm not worried about guys flirting with or hitting on her. She goes to clubs and many other places with her friends, and I never say a thing, and rarely go along. It really doesn't bother me. I truly do trust her... I still worry about her, (she is small, physically weak and looks very young), but I trust her.

The problem comes along when her horny friends who otherwise are just along for the ride, as is she, are now trying to get her to do as much nasty stuff as they possibly can (which, God knows why, has somehow become the tradition for a bachelorette party), add in alcohol and naked men, and I get worried. Why does everyone think I can stand to let her out in public. I have no issues with her being around other men. Two of her best friends are men. She has known them her whole life, and they have become good friends of mine. This is not a trust issue, and not a jealousy thing. I just worry about her being pressured by a bunch of horny drunk girls while in the presence of naked men...

It wouldn't bother me near as much if this weren't her bachelorette party. She wouldn't be the center of attention, and they wouldn't be trying to get her to do stupid human tricks...

I think you all are idiots if you wouldn't have the least bit of worries about your own significant other. Not because you don't trust them, just because anything can happen. That's my two cents...

But again its not so bad after hearing what the two ladies had to say. I had no idea what these places were like, but knowing what they've said makes me feel better...

 

I really think youre over analyzing this to death...so, let me sum it up for you...


It doesnt matter where she gets her appetite as long as she comes home for dinner

Relax, will you? You tire me just stressing out on your behalf.