I'm having a disagreement with my wife....

Here is a sentance that I wrote in a paper I am turning in....someone read this and tell me if it makes sense.

Thanks...


"The traditional Intrusion Detection System may find that the system it was developed to augment and assist with network security, the firewall, may in fact incorporate the IDS technology into its own functionality, thus eliminating the need for a separate intrusion detection system. "


Now while I certainly like to prove her wrong...be honest...

thanks.

(note to self...having this group check a sentance is like having a blind man test a mirror but ya'll are the best I got.)

 

nope, she is right . break it up.


i mean the sentence, not the wife

 

This is the wife - thanks...

 

A little too long so it SEEMS a little confusing. Sorry.

 

He dont count....he cant reed and right write anyhows...


(removing nvrenuff from Christmas list)

 

Just one blind man but, I don't see anything wrong with it.

I don't uderstand it, but that is because in addition to being blind, I am deaf and dumb.

Now go give her a kiss, a hug, a pat on the behind, and don't forget the jewelery.

 

and you are just a woman...get to the kitchen...

there is no shutting her up now....she is dang near dancing....thanks LT

 

i try to use those moments to break the news like ...."uh, babe, I just spent $4000 on my mustang again, you'll love this new tranny"

it always brings her back to down earth

 

A little long and one extra coma. I was always taught that if you can remove the words between the coma's, the sentence should still read smoothly.

 

"The traditional Intrusion Detection System may find that the system it was developed to augment and assist with"

It's ok up to here, but then the context is lost.

 

aviod that the...

 

I don't know what it means but the "direction" of what you mean is there.

 

I think it makes perfect sense. I did have to read it twice to make sure, but I think it sounds fine and flows nicely.

However, I do have two sentences that may actually be even better. Take your pick:

1) "The traditional Intrusion Detection System may find that the firewall, the system it was developed to augment and assist with network security, may in fact incorporate the IDS technology into its own functionality, thus eliminating the need for a separate intrusion detection system. "

-or-

2) "The traditional Intrusion Detection System may find that the firewall, the system it was developed to augment and assist with network security, may in fact incorporate the IDS technology into its own functionality. This eliminates the need for a separate intrusion detection system."

I like #1, personally, but if you don't like either of them then yours is fine, too. So, basically, you and your wife were both right.

 

"Bob may find that the guy he was hired to help drive the truck, Sam, may in fact already have all of Bobs' truck driving skills, thus eliminating the need for yet another truck driver."

It would only make a lawyer happy because it's confusing as hell.

That's all I can say now 'cause I got my mind on my money and my money on my mind.

 

FINE!!!!!!! I'll change it....dang it...where is Kobe....but if our resident goat herder has joined the masses I will assume I am wrong....

dont quote me on that though :o