Our shop foreman is always sending the new guys into the office to get me to order "things" for him. Everyone once in a while it's a legit item, but usually it's concrete filler rod, or a bucket of steam, or a sky hook....

Well, just few minutes ago the newest guy (whom they've all been having a great time with. I believe gullible is his middle name) came in with a question about his time card. Someone in the shop convinced him the project they were working on was called "fellatio", but no one knew how to spell it. So, he comes in to ask me how to spell it, and if I knew the job number for "fellatio". I, and everyone else that heard him, couldn't stop laughing. I said, "I think it's S-U-C-K", go ask Mark" (the shop foreman). As soon as I started laughing he finally caught on. Still had no idea what he had asked, just that he shouldn't have... a few minutes later someone here in the office walked by saying, "Now that's green"...

 

when i was young and stupid(now old and wiser) i was working at my uncle's garage in the early 70's and he had me call the parts store and order a waterpump for a '65 v.w.beetle need i type more? ...zap!

 

Just last week I saw an ad on the T.V. in the our breakroom at work and ordered a catalog of "big and tall male" clothes and had it sent to our police station under a fellow officers name who we jokingly call "Fatty." I can't wait for it to show up.

 

Several in one shot here...

Several years ago I worked at a local Electrical box factory... They make everything from breaker boxes the most popular probably being Hammer Mill the one most likely in your house. To the big High voltage industrial boxes and transformers. Anyway I was a welder and of course most of the time they hired a new guy of coarse there is always a hazing or break in process before you can be accepted by the rest of the crew...
One guys hazing inpaticular lasted for atleast a week because he was so gulliable... The first night one of the other welders pretended like he droped a part. We all stopped to pretend to look for it then the guy with the most senority then asked him to get the metal detector from the basement... First of all the plant has no basement, secondly we were in a METAL Fabrication shop! Anyway the guy walked around for 1 hour and 30 minutes asking everyone where the basement was... Each time the person he would ask would send him to another part of the plant... He finally caught on when he came back to the weld shop to get directions one more time and we could not keep straight faces anylonger...After that the poor guy was doomed and got sent to fetch everything from left handed cresent wrench to a metric screw driver from maintainance or his ID-10-20 card from the office... I'm not sure the harrasment every really stopped someone was always jacking with him because it was so easy.

 

In the Coast Guard the Senior guys would get the new guys stationed on a Cutter to go to the Bridge or somewhere and ask the Chief for "Shore Line(there is no shore line 200 miles out at sea)" or go ask someone in the "DC(job classification)" shop for a "DC Punch". The DC Punch would result in getting the hell puched out of you.

 

I work for CTU (Counter Terrorist Unit) which is a division under the DOD. Well, I can't go into too much detail/info as it's still classified, but one day last year we tracked down a suitcase nuke in a city that I can't disclose. We come across these things all the time and disarm them without incident, but this particular time Billy (last name not disclosed), the new guy, was the first on the scene. We talked him through the disarming process via Nextel direct-connect. Finally, it came down to him exposing a red and blue wire. He asked which he should cut, so we told him - get this - "Cut the red wire!" Well, you can imagine what happened. (Sucker!) We still laugh over that one! Newbies!!!!!!

 

My first respnse would be to not go to the nuke... but fly to the opposite coast and wait for it to disarm itself then go clean it up...LOL J/k

 

i like taking the "N" and "M" keys off keyboards and swaping them

Takes a while to figure out. Or do a Alt + printsceen when someone is away from pc, then save it as background and close everything.

or changing the auto correct inside of Word for words that people us a lot like changing "the" to "teh"

 

We play jokes on the welders at work. Simply put a black square piece of paper in their hood. When they flip their hood down and strike an arc they see nothing. They check the ground and the welder and try again. They figure it out when we all start laughing.

When it the Army we pulled alot of jokes.
Go get the keys to the " impact area"
Go get a box of grid squares.
Go get an exhaust sample.
Go in the head shed and ask for a *****y 8 (***** E-8)

 

The main weldeing was resistance (AKA Spot welding) No hoods BUT we could sharpen out tips and raise the voltage slightly and someone with practice and a good shot could aim a stream of sparks 30+ feet away.. I got hit a few times by my own while trying to learn how to do it and let me tell you, It hurts!
That was rather fun for us to do to everybody else in final assembly or the paint room...

 

My dad used to pull the 'left handed screwdriver' trick on me all the time when I was a kid.

We were recently putting shingles on our roof simulator at headquarters. One of the younger guys was nailing them down. I told him the roof wouldn't turn out right because he was using a left handed hammer with his right hand. He switched hands and finished the entire roof with the hammer in his left hand.

We are still laughing about it.

 

^^ LOL ^^

Reminds me of my grandpa...
I remeber one time as a young teenager we were putting a new roof on his garage... Replacing several old rotten rafters, redecking it and shingles... The previous work was shotty to say the least so he said the rafters were 16" more or less... Sometimes more sometimes less. Then while we were shingeling he would pull a hand full of nails out of his belt and sort them to face the same way droping the other ones in his belt pouch. My cousin asked him, why do you drop the nails back in? He replied with a smirk... The ones that are pointing at you are for the other side of the roof.... LOL

 

Out on a carpentry job, sending the young kids out to get the 'board stretcher' is an old favorite of mine...

 

i did this to my boss once when i was working an old computer job me and him were friends it was his business and it was just me and him and he's like 27 and im 20 so he's not much older. well he's a massive coffee drinker and i switch the sugar with salt a couple times.... man he was upset lol but laughed about it. then i use to steal the TP out of the rest room right before he went to do a" big job" lol and make em use paper towls. then at another job use to work at a internet cafe/ game center and we use to throw smoke bombs under the door when someones in the rest room. my dads a mechanic and they usually will tap a horn when someones under a hood, or throw a fire cracker under the hood at em when the way down in there bang their head on the block. or shoot rivets at eachother. poke a hole in the side of a oil container with a screw drive then stick the air hose in it and make it explode. stuff like that

 

Our local moderator got nailed not too long ago with a prank and he got the guys back pretty good. DOn't remember the details but it was funny.

Personally,

Hot glued everything to our secretary's desk, mouse, pens, you name it.

When I worked on a help desk, walking up behind someone and taking a can of compressed air, holding it upside down, and hitting the back of the neck....Cold doesn't describe it....no way not to yelp....pretty bad when you walking someone through fixing a problem on the phone.

Jim