Okay, i just had a convo with someone about God and marriage. And NO this is not a religeous topic, but it has to do with it... in some way... marriage is something christians and catholics, etc.. believe in, which is why our country founded upon it. If you dont believe in God, what is the point of being married? Committment? no... you are gonna be faithful or not, with or without a ring and a piece of paper... so why do it?


Me? if i ever get married, i plan on doing it outside of legal boundaries... i will have a ceremony (private) rings, and all the other goodies that come with it... but uncle sam will have NOTHING to do with it.... why should i be legally bound to pay my ex wife any money just for being married to her? If she was too lazy to get a job while we were married, and now doesnt have a source of income, thats her own damn fault... but i shouldnt be held accountable to pay "alimony" for being married to someone, and finding out later shes a witch... think about it... how many men are unhappy with their marriage, but wont say anything or do anything out of fear that they will ruin their lives? Next comes cheating, and all the other goodies that come with unhappy lives... id rather live my life to the fullest, and this way, i will always know my wife is faithful, because if she ever wanted to, she could leave.... no strings attached... and vice versa... anyone else feel me on this?

 

no.
being from a strong Methodist background, i feel strongly toward commitment towards a spouse. When i find "that one" one day, there will be no question between either of us that it will never end. I do not believe in "pre-nups" and will never have any made. I believe God will guide me in the right way so that I, along with my spouse and my family, will be happy.

[puts on flame suit, ready for all anti-religious posters.....]

 

naw man, i believe in God too... and i believe in being manogomistic to the FULLEST but i also believe that sometimes we make bad decisions, and people change... and since i only have 1 life to live, im not going to lock myself down without possibility to fix it if i ever make a bad decision.... and since in Gods book, he never said marriage had to be done in front of the US governments eyes, and divorce takes years, and money to do... id rather just keep it between me, my wife, and God...

 

I'm sure you will easily find a woman willing to have a "fake" wedding.

It's not like they start dreaming about their wedding day since they're about 4 years old or anything

Bad97: [down on one knee] "Will you sort-of marry me?"

 

You need to think about the common marriage laws.. you don't have to be married to give her half of what you have.. I know in Texas it's after her living with you for 6 months and then she is entitled to half of what you have if she wants to push the issue.. You might want to check your local and state laws....

Just a F.Y.I

 

Just order a bride from Russia....if it doesn't work out, maybe you could just send her back.

 

I think you are confusing the two issues, or sides of marriage. First you are correct there is nothing in the bible that states you have to be married by a government. In order to be married or considered man and wife in God’s eyes all you have to do is take the vows and it’s done. You don’t need a marriage certificate or anything else, once you take the vows you are now man and wife under God’s eyes.

Now, the second issue is what is considered “legal” marriage, as waterrat was alluding to it has nothing to do with the religious side of marriage, the vows etc. Just because you may be considered man and wife under God’s eyes does not mean any state or country has to “recognize” you as an actual married couple.

Legal marriage has to do with laws and benefits that our society has afforded married couples. The bible does not state anything about tax breaks, for example, if you’re married.

So there are two completely different aspects to marriage, the religious side and the legal, benefits side. The legal side doesn’t have much to do with the religious side because again as waterrat alluded to you don’t even have to be “legally” married in order for a court to force you to pay alimony, child support etc. Those are simply the laws of the land that you can’t do anything about other then try to get them overturned.

So marriage really comes down to one question, which is do you love her and our you ready for a commitment. If you answer no to either or both of those you are not ready for marriage. Yes sometimes things don’t work out and it would be great to trade someone in for someone different but answer this, if you had a child with a disease would you want to walk away and cut ties to that child without ever trying to see if there was a cure, solution, to the disease?

Same with marriage, to a point, just because there are bumps or bad times you shouldn’t be so fast to cut the ties or drop it, that’s the difference between maturity and immaturity…

 

Didn't you see that movie with Nicole Kidman about the bride from Russia that invited her "brother" and friend to live with them after marriage and then they made him rob a bank?


You can just get married and when it doesn't work out "have her dissapear". Go to Court Tv crime library to see how to get away with it

 

Yeah, it's easy. My Mother did it. Went through the ceremony and everything with a man she met online. But he didn't want the government to have any part of it(he's a little strange that way), so they were never "legally married" for the past three years. Now they are seperating. It's working out to her benefit though since he's been mooching off of her for the past four years, living in her house, without a real job. All he's taking is his personal belongings. No court to deal with or anything.

 

Good Luck

 

No I dont agree with your idea of "marriage" either, but to each his own. But before you shack up with a woman you might want to check the laws in your state. Here its called "common law". You might be married legally and not even know how much money shes gonna get. Also there is this thing called palimony. Notice how alimony and palimony all end in "mony" which is what you owe the woman that you decide to let go.

 

Why would you marry somebody and plan for a divorce?!? If you have to worry about possibly getting a divorce than you are with the wrong person.


Also Have you heard of a prenuptial agreement?

 

Some religious view and opinions interpret the bible to read that marriage is consummated in gods eyes once a man and a woman have lied together. In other words they have read that sex is a spitritual marriage of a man and a woman in gods eyes. I am Nazarene by faith and some what agree with that. For the goverment side of it, I believe here the commomn law is 7 years. I could be wrong. Either way, we had the ceremony, and did the paper work for Uncle Sam, and that was 9 years ago so I'm in with both feet! I hear that after 10 years she is elegable to get my social security benefits if I die or we seperate. LOL ^ It's not always been a bed of roses we have had some rough times but I vowed to be with her in good times and the bad... I'm a man of my word. There is nobody on earth that has been married gree with that. For the goverment side of it, I believe here the commomn law is 7 years. I could be wrong. Either way, we had the ceremony, and did the paper work for Uncle Sam, and that was 9 years ago so I'm in with both feet! I hear that after 10 years she is elegable to get my social security benefits if I die or we seperate. LOL ^ It's not always been a bed of roses we have had some rough times but I vowed to be with her in good times and the bad... I'm a man of my word. There is nobody on earth that has been married and never had an argument. It just will never happen. If your already planning to tuck tale and run if/when things get rough...I don't know what to tell you. That sounds rough and rude, I apologize that I can not find another way to put it more softley, but thats how I view it.

 

f150online.com's first official proposal...

 

you know what, i had a really nice post... long as hell... but this damned mother #$@#$#%#$!@# forum lagged out and i lost it ALL!!!!!!!! so here is the basics.... i can legally say my "wife" is my room mate... and nobody can prove otherwise.... sex cant be used in court other than to determine whether or not we were "#$%^ buddies" thats it... so unless i admit to being with her for those amount of years as a spouse, they really cant do much..... is the straight male that has another straight male for a room mate, considered legally gay and married just because they lived together for more than 7 years? I know a lot of people who have lived with their room mates because they are very close friends, and couldnt handle paying their own rent... or just enjoyed the cut in rent, and loved having the other person as a room mate... but, on the same token, if after 7 years, im still with the woman, i would take the legal marriage. I am more worried about the first couple of years... when a lot of women start "letting themselves go" or "stop working because they know if i leave they can sue me anyways" or "start showing a side of them i had no idea existed"..... its a crazy world, and without bringing the damn feds in on everything i do, i would like to live my life free of ball and chain... if that woman pisses me off (like it just so happens my girl has been doing to me lately, thus the reason i havent even spoken to her in 4 days) i want to be able to leave, and call it a day...... come see my child (children) whenever i want to.... pay for their survival, or have custody dispute... (which im almost positive i would win...) and while this may not be the best way to do things according to the God... society makes it hard to do legitimate business... marriage? IS a business now... people get payed BIG money when others get married, and people get payed even MORE when they decide to get divorced... it is now a big thing that women actually marry rich people to divorce them in 2 years and rape them of their bank account.....and THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is the womans idea of "the americheir room mates because they are very close friends, and couldnt handle paying their own rent... or just enjoyed the cut in rent, and loved having the other person as a room mate... but, on the same token, if after 7 years, im still with the woman, i would take the legal marriage. I am more worried about the first couple of years... when a lot of women start "letting themselves go" or "stop working because they know if i leave they can sue me anyways" or "start showing a side of them i had no idea existed"..... its a crazy world, and without bringing the damn feds in on everything i do, i would like to live my life free of ball and chain... if that woman pisses me off (like it just so happens my girl has been doing to me lately, thus the reason i havent even spoken to her in 4 days) i want to be able to leave, and call it a day...... come see my child (children) whenever i want to.... pay for their survival, or have custody dispute... (which im almost positive i would win...) and while this may not be the best way to do things according to the God... society makes it hard to do legitimate business... marriage? IS a business now... people get payed BIG money when others get married, and people get payed even MORE when they decide to get divorced... it is now a big thing that women actually marry rich people to divorce them in 2 years and rape them of their bank account.....and THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is the womans idea of "the american dream"... and thats what im lookin out for!