Are there any hypnotists out there?

I've got such a big problem and don't know where to turn.
Before you continue to read my dilemma, go get yourself a nice cup of hot coffee and ease into a comfortable position.

It all started 4 days ago when I misplaced the cordless phone.

I still remember it like it was yesterday...
It was raining, very cloudy and grey, the fireplace was going and I was wearing an oversized sweater with my favorite Levi jeans.

The last thing I remember was me blabbing on the cordless, and then "poof", it just disappeared.
I can't for the life of me remember where I put it.
Obviously I didn't place it back in the charging station, if I did, it would be there and my wife would stop nagging me.

I have searched under all the cushions, in the garage, even behind the magazine rack in the *****ter, but no phone can be found.

This is turning into a rather big problem because in my infinite wisdom to 'pinch a few pennies" I chose the cheaper model.

The deluxe model had the call display screen built into the base station, as well as the hand unit, the "cheaper" model only has the call display built into the hand held.

Now when my brother calls from jail, I can't see who it is, so I answer on the base station and I am always surprised when I hear the recording "To accept, press 1"

Damn, caught off guard again!!

There are other examples of not having the phone which is a great inconvenience, but I won't bore you all with my tedious problems.

So either I need someone to help me regress into the past 4 days and help me remember where I placed the phone, or I need suggestions where to look.

I need help, I can't take one more night of "Al, what the heck did you do with the cordless you stupid ***!"
You listen to that for 4 days and you are ready to go insane.

 

1) The dog owns it, look for fresh dirt in the back yard.

2) Do you have another phone in the house to call it from?

3) You are getting sleepy, very, very sleepy. You will sign the title to your Lightning over to me...

4) Did you fall asleep and dream of eating a "submarine sandwich" hold the mayo, hold the transisters.

 

Instructions for finding UFO's (Un Found Objects)..
1. Stand up
2. Turn around
3. Stick right hand between seat cushion and arm of Lazy Boy
4. Repeat process on left side of Lazy Boy
5. Ask Wife where the hell the phone is
6. Lie to Teen Ager and say a boy is on the phone
7. Stare down Dog
8. Get keys, drive to electonics store and purchase phone with Amber Alert feature on it.

 

I lost my handset once! Found it at the next closest intersection, in the road, in a million pieces. Seems I left it on the truck bumper. Don't feel bad about buying the cheaper one, how would it feel to have lost a good one?........lol!

 

Grab your cell phone and call your home phone --

if you don't have a cell phone ask your neighbor to call you...

When your phone starts ringing, follow the ringing sound....

Voila !!! There's your phone.

 

Habibi,

I've been wondering where you've been...now I understand. I've been to the edge of madness in search of one of our remotes on several occasions.
Did you look in the fridge?
freezer?
next to the toilet?
on top of the fridge?
everywhere around the computer?

Maybe it ended up in the fireplace?

I feel for you. It's time to head to the nearest electronics store and get a new phone. Please get one that has the locator button on the base station that makes the cordless handheld beep/chirp. You need it. Good luck.

John
(Hmmm, I just had the remote...where did it go...)

 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by JohnAndDar
[B]Habibi,



I feel for you. It's time to head to the nearest electronics store and get a new phone. Please get one that has the locator button on the base station that makes the cordless handheld beep/chirp.

Thats the Amber Alert feature

 

You guys are good and all made great replies, but the phone is still lost.

It does have the "PAGE" feature, but from day 1, this phone had a crappy battery life, so the paging feature was a moot point 3 and a half days ago.

Something else that sucks about all this is the whole issue of privacy.

When one of my buds calls me, and I answer it from the base station in "Hands free" mode, my wife hears everything my friends say, so I always have to tell them that my wife is there without making it obvious.

It's like:
-ring ring ring...
Me: "Hello"
my buddy: Hey, what's up biatch? How's it hanging?"
Me: Easy with the nasty talk, my wife is right here"
my buddy : Oh, right, right, sorry"

Sometimes damaging information is revealed before I have a chance to give ample warning.

Example #2:

-ring ring ring...
Me: Hello?"
my buddy: "hey punk ***, how's your bunghole after losing that $800 at Mike's card game last night?"

-----

A long stare from wifey comes because I told her how I "broke even" last night.

Do you guys see how damaging this situation can be, do you appreciate the gravity of it all?

Losing the phone is one thing, but being forced to speak to your buddy's via "hands-free" mode in the presence of your wife is stressful in itself.

I MUST find the phone!!!

 

Places I've found my cell phone:
Center console of the Expi
under the air matress in the tent
under the bed, way under
in the dresser

Places I've found the remote:
Under the couch, way under
embeded in the side of the lazy boy
inside of the arm of the couch (it took forever to find it that time)

Go room by room. Start with the most obvious places. Seach through EVERYTHING. Move furniture around if you have too. Dig through the garbage if you still have it. Look through the fridge. Flip your favorite chair(s) over and/or take it apart.

Most likely it fell on the floor somewhere and subsequently got kicked under something. I've found a nice methodical turning the house upside down will usually turn up all kinds of stuff except what you're looking for.

 

Habibi

I know exactly where the phone is. Where you left it last. See, problem solved.

Sled...

 

Have you checked the laundry basket? Could be it's with your oversized sweater and favorite Levi's. Other than that best I can do is tell you to follow Viper's instructions or get a new phone. BTW, glad to see you made it through last nights storm unscathed. Buckdropper said it hit near you somewhere?

 

Well...I'll tell you what always works for me. Go out and buy a new phone. Once you get it hooked-up and start using it for a while...and realize how much better it is than that POS that you misplaced...the old one will magically show up!

MR

 

Your phone is in the "Lazy Boy". It is on the left side as you sit in it. Turn the recliner on it's side and look up inside of it. You will find your missing phone there.

The "voices" told me so.................................

 

I say just get a new one

I always enjoy playing with our new "toys"

 

Habibi, obviously you don't have any teenagers in the house.

I don't have a cordless phone.
I have one, mounted on the wall.(high on the wall)
There are no chairs near it.
The cord is about nine inches long.

When someone calls they rarely get a busy signal.