gripe sheet (repost?)
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Joined: Dec 2001
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From: Fife, WA
gripe sheet (repost?)
After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which
conveys to the mechanics any problem they had with the airplane during
the flight. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then explain
in
writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken.
The pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it
be
said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are
some
actual maintenance problems submitted by QANTAS pilots and the solutions
recorded by maintenance engineers.
By the way, QANTAS is the only major airline that has never had an
accident.
(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineer.)
=====
P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in ****pit.
S: Something tightened in ****pit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet-per-minute
descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in ****pit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
conveys to the mechanics any problem they had with the airplane during
the flight. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then explain
in
writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken.
The pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it
be
said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are
some
actual maintenance problems submitted by QANTAS pilots and the solutions
recorded by maintenance engineers.
By the way, QANTAS is the only major airline that has never had an
accident.
(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineer.)
=====
P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in ****pit.
S: Something tightened in ****pit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet-per-minute
descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in ****pit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
