All kidding aside, I usually have one of my good looking female friends make a comment about how hot she thinks I am, in the company of the lady I'm interested in. Half the time I don't have to say anything at all. It's probably the best way to pick up women.

 

That probably is a good way. I've never tried it before.

 

Well you have to be good looking first...like me

 

Sometimes I ask if they seen any smokeys...

 

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That was a good one. I dont think I will ever use it though. I mean she would probably beat me up when I say that her parents are retarded.

 

Those may work when you're single, but us married guys have to be more tactful.

Here's one that has worked for me for the last 10 years...

[Whiny voice] "Aww come on, its my birthday"

 

I would think if you flashed a few hundred dollar bills and said there are more of these depending how good you are may work too...

 

"Is your daddy a baker? 'Cause you got a nice set of buns!"

 

I got some hot sauce for that taco...

 

LMAO, although it would sound better as..

"I've got some sour cream for your taco"

 

She don't want sour, she wants spice...

 

Whiny voice] "Aww come on, its my birthday"

LOL LOL

I tried that one, and if it doesnt work with my wife, it's not gonna work on a stranger

 

"Nice shoes. Wanna *******?"

Had a friend sorta use that one. They're married now...

 

Oh come on Alex, she has to give it up on your birthday, I think it's a rule. My half-birthday is at the end of the month, you think she'd give me a hand-j*b?

 

Our receptionist came in the other morning and told me thestory of her drive in that morning.

Storms came throug the area and several trees were blown down across the road, and she didn't know how to get to the office via backroads. Some guy came through and she stopped him and asked how to get to town.

His response: "You've got all your teeth, and your not a sheep ... lets's just grab a 12 pack and go back to my place."