"A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to "Where do pets come from?"

Adam and Eve said, "Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you anymore. We are lonesome here and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us." And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves." And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail.

And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal." And God said, "No problem. Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG." And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them. And they were comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peakoks (edit for language filter) and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well." And God said, "No problem! I will create for them a companion who will be with them forever and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration."

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve. And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings. And Adam and Eve learned humility. And they were greatly improved. And God was pleased. And Dog was happy. And Cat didn't give a ***** one way or the other."


I had this emailed to me today...thought it was pretty funny. I use to hate cats but when my fiancee' got one I kind of took a shine to her (the cat that is). I still like my dogs better though! Its kind of funny though that one of my dogs is kind of more like a cat.

Mikki is a 7 year old Siberian Husky that definitely has a mind of her own. She will do as she is told...eventually. But usually not after some arguing back and forth. If she doesnt want to do it then she will bark, howl, and "talk" back. She also scolds me if I do something that she doesnt like...such as waking her up by yelling out the window at her. She will ignore me for a couple minutes with the exception of giving me the "evil eye." If I keep on then she will jump up and start barking and talking to me because I was bothering her. That dog can be a hoot.

Anyone have similar experiences?

 

Our dogs and cats have always been 'foundlings'. My current dog isn't worth a *****. She won't come when I call her, can't be trusted in the house when we're gone and has to be tied up all the time.

On the other hand, I had a cat that would eat about anything. She would lick our dinner plates, loved leftovers and would even catch popcorn! She would chase the other two cats at high speed through the house (like a dog) and wrestle with them.

So there you go. They must be of another religion.

 

Very cute

I am and always will be a DOG person. We currently have a Boxer, 3 years old, and he is the most loving dog I have ever known....it's so weird sometimes, he acts almost human!!! We were thinking about getting another one, a puppy for him to plat with, but we figured one at a time is enough.

 

Cat’s are like many, not all, women (hence the reason they have the same nickname “pu***”) You can NEVER figure them out, NEVER know what they are “really” thinking, and can be so damn finicky. The only time they rub on your leg is when they want something, other then that you have to chase them down. They can cost some serious money at times if you **** them off and they decide to wreak havoc on your belongings. Usually the only time you hear them or they want to fight is when you are ready to SLEEP (very late at night), then they have that whinny voice at late hours and all you can think of is “where the hell is my shoe, so I can throw it at it” You can not take them many places without always trying to please them or giving them treats so they don’t freak out in a crowd. Sometimes they like to be the center of attention and other times they run off so everyone can see you chase after them.

Ok, now on to the problem with cats…

 

Another home run by 01 XLT

On a side note, my brother is a detective down in Tampa. When they come across a body in a house with pets, they have a sure fire way of determing when death happened.

If the household has a cat, the eyes of the deceased, are usually gone in 3 days. In a household with a dog, the eyes of the deceased are gone in 7 days.
So the next time your cat/dog is staring at you, and you think your pet wants something to eat. Your only half right, what the pet is doing, is seeing if your still breathing

 

That's just gross!!!

I couldn't imagine my dog eating my eyes out!!! Now I wont be able to look at him anymore

 

We have 3 dogs, and they are awesome. The only time it pisses me off is when someone comes to the door, it's non stop barking for 10 minutes (makes me cringe)

Your story about the cats is so true.

IIf my wife sees this, I will be in trouble:

We also have 2 cats, and I can't stand them (literlally)
useless creatures, good for nothing!

My wife got them over 10 years ago, so now I'm just waiting for the day until they die off.

Last summer, they went outside and took off (they are housecats)
So my wife wakes me up at 2am, and shes crying "OMG, Oscar & Fellix are missing, come help me search for them"

So deep down I'm like "Oh yeah, they're finally gone, woo hoo!" but on the outside, I'm walking around the backyard with my flashlight, I'm pretending to search, but I'm really using the opportunity to see how well the tomatoes are coming along.

The next morning, both cats were waiting on the back deck waiting to be let in (oh joy)

I knew they would return, who else will look after them.

I'm not mean to them or anything, I just ignore them for the most part. I did buy a big *** squirt gun for them (to nail them when they jump on the counter or table, damn I hate that)

I need a guy like 01 to move in next door, that will help get rid of them.

Habibi

 

Yep, let them stroll in front of my truck tire, nice freshly installed speedbump…

Here kitty, kitty, kitty...