"next president"

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Old Oct 10, 2011 | 02:34 AM
  #1  
FordMan7's Avatar
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"next president"

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN, GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?


'My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.



Since Congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.



This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq . This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries listed there.



The other list contains every one not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.



Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.


THEN EVERY YEAR THEREAFTER It'll GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO BROKE IN 20 YEARS.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.



Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France ...



In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China .

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France , and Russia . Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York .

A special note to our neighbors: Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not ticking us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2. Its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment.

I will have a couple thousand extra tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to

Put 'em? Yep, border security.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska -which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, 'darn tootin.'

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America .

It is time to eliminate homelessness in America.


To the nations on List 1, a final thought; Thank you guys.

We owe you and we won't forget.


To the nations on List 2, a final thought; You might want to learn to speak Arabic.



God bless America ...

Thank you and good night.'

If you can read this in English,

Thank a soldier.
 
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Old Oct 10, 2011 | 03:32 AM
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Old Oct 10, 2011 | 02:19 PM
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Old Oct 10, 2011 | 03:00 PM
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That would be a dream come true.
 
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Old Oct 12, 2011 | 12:35 AM
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that is a pretty underwhelming wish list filled with jingoism and naive partisan ideas.

i want a president / government that will:

- end the federal reserve
- replace the federal income tax with a federal sales tax
- eliminate unnecessary federal government programs (Obamacare, FEMA, Department of Education, etc) and allow states form agencies to handle the responsibilities that each of these programs currently handle
- stop all forms of foreign aid to all countries
- withdraw our troops from the middle east and everywhere else around the globe that they might be stationed
- withdraw from UN, NATO, NAFTA, etc
- deport all illegal aliens
- decriminalize drugs / end the war on drugs and leave the ability to legalize / ban them to the states.
- reduce / eliminate our dependance on foreign oil
- eliminate corporate taxes
- eliminate the ability for companies to contribute to political campaigns / run ads
- term limits for senate / house
- promote individual liberty rather than class warfare
- let bad business that mismanaged their money fail

basically, a libertarian...
 

Last edited by 06bluemeaniexl; Oct 12, 2011 at 12:48 AM.
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Old Oct 13, 2011 | 10:07 AM
  #6  
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From: Paintsville Ky.
Originally Posted by 06bluemeaniexl
that is a pretty underwhelming wish list filled with jingoism and naive partisan ideas.

i want a president / government that will:

- end the federal reserve
- replace the federal income tax with a federal sales tax
- eliminate unnecessary federal government programs (Obamacare, FEMA, Department of Education, etc) and allow states form agencies to handle the responsibilities that each of these programs currently handle
- stop all forms of foreign aid to all countries
- withdraw our troops from the middle east and everywhere else around the globe that they might be stationed
- withdraw from UN, NATO, NAFTA, etc
- deport all illegal aliens
- decriminalize drugs / end the war on drugs and leave the ability to legalize / ban them to the states.
- reduce / eliminate our dependance on foreign oil
- eliminate corporate taxes
- eliminate the ability for companies to contribute to political campaigns / run ads
- term limits for senate / house
- promote individual liberty rather than class warfare
- let bad business that mismanaged their money fail

basically, a libertarian...
This sounds good to me.
More some than others.
 
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Old Oct 13, 2011 | 04:06 PM
  #7  
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From: Calgary, Alberta Canada
Sure. We skip one war and we are on your ****list.

We have been busy in Afghanistan.
 
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