The bill of no rights.
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Senior Member
Joined: Nov 2000
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From: Orland Park, IL just south of chicago
The bill of no rights.
Got this in the mail today, just thought you guys would enjoy it. I know I loved it. 
We hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people
are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a
Bill of No Rights.
ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or
any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally
acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This
country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone --
not just you! You may leave the room, change the channel, express a
different opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots, and
probably always will be.
ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you
stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not
expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives
independently wealthy.
ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing.
Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly
help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing
generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who
achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of
professional couch potatoes.
ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would
be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not
interested in public health care.
ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other
people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone,
don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the
electric chair.
ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others.
If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other
citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock
you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big
screen color TV or a life of leisure.
ARTICLE VIII: You don't have the right to demand that our children
risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We
hate oppressive governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from
going to fight if you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the
entire world and do not want to spend so much of our time battling
each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.
ARTICLE IX: You don't have the right to a job. All of us sure want
all of you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times,
but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education
and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American
means that you have the right to pursue happiness - which by the way,
is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of
idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of
Rights."
We hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people
are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a
Bill of No Rights.
ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or
any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally
acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This
country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone --
not just you! You may leave the room, change the channel, express a
different opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots, and
probably always will be.
ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you
stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not
expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives
independently wealthy.
ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing.
Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly
help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing
generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who
achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of
professional couch potatoes.
ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would
be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not
interested in public health care.
ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other
people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone,
don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the
electric chair.
ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others.
If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other
citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock
you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big
screen color TV or a life of leisure.
ARTICLE VIII: You don't have the right to demand that our children
risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We
hate oppressive governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from
going to fight if you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the
entire world and do not want to spend so much of our time battling
each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.
ARTICLE IX: You don't have the right to a job. All of us sure want
all of you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times,
but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education
and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American
means that you have the right to pursue happiness - which by the way,
is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of
idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of
Rights."
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 567
Likes: 0
From: Hazel Park, MI
Re: The bill of no rights.
Originally posted by RTKILLA
ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing.
Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly
help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing
generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who
achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of
professional couch potatoes.
ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing.
Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly
help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing
generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who
achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of
professional couch potatoes.
On a fun note. They moved into my parents travel traler (w/their 3 kids) on my parents 2 acres. The funny part is that they have to deal w/my Mom & the 10 kids that still live at home.
Suckers!
