OT Actual bumper stickers
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Senior Member
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 857
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From: Downriver, Michigan
OT Actual bumper stickers
I don't know if this has been posted already; and I didn't want to search either.
Actual bumper stickers found on cars and trucks!
Constipated People Don't Give A ****.
Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.
If You Drink, Don't Park; Accidents Cause People.
Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?
If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.
Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.
If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.
My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
Thank You For Pot Smoking.
To All You Virgins, Thanks For Nothing.
If At First You Don't Succeed ... Blame Someone Else ... And Seek Counseling.
Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".
If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
Horn Broken ... Watch For Finger.
It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.
If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My ***.
You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me.
The Earth Is Full --- Go Home.
I Have The Body Of A God ... Buddha.
This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me.
So Many Pedestrians --- So Little Time.
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.
If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?
The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name.
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.
Illiterate? Write For Help.
Honk If Anything Falls Off.
Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.
He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit.
I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person.
You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.
Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Hand Basket?
It's Been Lovely, But I Have To Scream Now.
I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere.
If You Can Read This, The Bitch Fell Off.
[Seen On The Back Of A Biker's Vest].
If Sex Is A Pain In The ***, Then You're Doing It Wrong.
Fight Crime --- Shoot Back!
If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over.
[Seen upside Down, On A Jeep]
Remember Folks --- Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.
Guys --- No Shirt, No Service; Gals --- No Shirt, No Charge.
[Reported To Be Seen On A Restaurant]
If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba the Hut?
Necrophillia --- That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.
Ax Me 'bout Ebonics.
Body By Nautilus --- Brain By Mattel.
Boldly Going Nowhere.
Cat --- The Other White Meat.
Caution --- Driver Legally Blonde!
Don't Be Sexist --- Broads Hate That.
Heart Attacks ... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.
Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window.
How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?
If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.
Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch.
Saw It ... Wanted It ... Had A Fit ... Got It!
Actual bumper stickers found on cars and trucks!
Constipated People Don't Give A ****.
Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.
If You Drink, Don't Park; Accidents Cause People.
Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?
If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.
Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.
If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.
My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
Thank You For Pot Smoking.
To All You Virgins, Thanks For Nothing.
If At First You Don't Succeed ... Blame Someone Else ... And Seek Counseling.
Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".
If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
Horn Broken ... Watch For Finger.
It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.
If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My ***.
You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me.
The Earth Is Full --- Go Home.
I Have The Body Of A God ... Buddha.
This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me.
So Many Pedestrians --- So Little Time.
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.
If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?
The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name.
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.
Illiterate? Write For Help.
Honk If Anything Falls Off.
Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.
He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit.
I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person.
You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.
Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Hand Basket?
It's Been Lovely, But I Have To Scream Now.
I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere.
If You Can Read This, The Bitch Fell Off.
[Seen On The Back Of A Biker's Vest].
If Sex Is A Pain In The ***, Then You're Doing It Wrong.
Fight Crime --- Shoot Back!
If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over.
[Seen upside Down, On A Jeep]
Remember Folks --- Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.
Guys --- No Shirt, No Service; Gals --- No Shirt, No Charge.
[Reported To Be Seen On A Restaurant]
If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba the Hut?
Necrophillia --- That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.
Ax Me 'bout Ebonics.
Body By Nautilus --- Brain By Mattel.
Boldly Going Nowhere.
Cat --- The Other White Meat.
Caution --- Driver Legally Blonde!
Don't Be Sexist --- Broads Hate That.
Heart Attacks ... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.
Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window.
How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?
If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.
Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch.
Saw It ... Wanted It ... Had A Fit ... Got It!
Senior Member
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 858
Likes: 0
From: Elmwood Park, NJ
LMAO!!!
I'm gonna have a small window sticker made...
its not gonna be as exciting as all the others you listed...
it will simply say:
www.JerseyLightnings.com
its not gonna be as exciting as all the others you listed...
it will simply say:
www.JerseyLightnings.com
Senior Member
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 447
Likes: 1
From: Brookville, IN USA
If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Baffle Them With Bulls***.
Keep honking, I'm reloading...
Driver only carries $20 worth of ammunition...
Is that your face or did your neck throw up?
Keep honking, I'm reloading...
Driver only carries $20 worth of ammunition...
Is that your face or did your neck throw up?
Senior Member
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 118
Likes: 0
From: Phoenix, Arizona
This is still my personal fav albeit a little disgusting.
"Back off or I'll flick a boogar on your windshield!"
Or how about:
"You can pick your nose. You can pick your friends. But you can't wipe your friends under the couch."
"Back off or I'll flick a boogar on your windshield!"
Or how about:
"You can pick your nose. You can pick your friends. But you can't wipe your friends under the couch."
Member
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 12
Likes: 0
From: Dallas, TX
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Senior Member
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 4,121
Likes: 0
From: Hammer Lane
"Love animals, don't eat them"
Found on the bumper of a chef at one of the restaurants I deliver to. I pointed out that it wasn't against the law to eat an animal; but, the other will at the very least carry a stiff fine. She replied with a perfectly straight face, "The animals don't seem to mind.", and gave a wi****l smile.
Found on the bumper of a chef at one of the restaurants I deliver to. I pointed out that it wasn't against the law to eat an animal; but, the other will at the very least carry a stiff fine. She replied with a perfectly straight face, "The animals don't seem to mind.", and gave a wi****l smile.
