A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?

Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?

Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner' card.

The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?

Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.

Driver: No problem.

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too

 

Oh Ha.. HA... HA...
LOL....

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Thats a good one there.

but the best I ever heard was my buddy john who got pulled over with his girfriend in the car. he told the cop that they just got back from the doctor and they found out they both have herpies. the cop stepped back to the car and gave them some phamlets on herpies and said now just take it easy. He comes back to the party with all these phamlets. we lauged so hard that night about this kid. what a joke, HAHAHA. kinda bad, but I guess it worked.

 

I've had a little luck with humor. Once an officer asked if I knew how fast I was going?

He laughed and let me go after I said, "Before or after I saw you."

The other time I was asked and I candidly responded "51 in a 35." he came back with a warning and said he appreciated my honesty.

 

There's always alittle street racing amoung the ricers on Sunday nites. A bunch of cars where doing burnouts when a couple of cop cars showed up. This guy, who was just doin a wicked burnout was approached by a women officer. He swore up and down that it wasn't him who was doing the burnouts. In fact, he said, if you don't believe me go feel my rear tires. Indeed they where ice cold, and the women officer let the kid go, and he drove off in his Honda Civic!

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Dave
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Please tell me you joking. Why can't we have officers that clueless around here, remember I'm only an hour south of you.



[This message has been edited by captainoblivious (edited 05-23-2001).]

 

One time I was driving my L home from a buddies house in the middle of winter and I got pulled over. I wasn't doing anything wrong and this cop comes up to the door and opens my door and says to get the #%$^ out of the truck. well they put me the back of the squad car and start to ask me all these questions about where I have been and what I've been doing all night. so I told them I was at my friends house chillin. well then he tells me about how my truck was spotted doing lawn jobs troughout my neigborhood. Well there's about 4 inches of snow on the grass outside, so I started laughing. well mr. a$$hole cop didn't like that one bit. So I told him theres no way that it was me doing lawn jobs and he's got the wrong guy. I told him to let me go or else I was going to talk to his captain about this chit going on. well he didn't say anything but shut up to me. So the next thing I no here comes to more squad cars with more of his friends to harass me. so there going back and forth about all the trouble I'm in and this and that and how my trucks getting impounded and this and that. SO once again I asked to cop if I could talk without being interupted since this di#khead wouldn't let me talk. So he let me explain that there's no way my truck did any kind of lawn job in the snow. I told him about the truck and what it was all about. Well he said to me, its a trucks its supposed to go offroading. stupid idiot just would not listen to me. after telling him to go measure the tire tracks on the truck to compare and to go try and do a lawn job with my truck right now he finally came to his senses when another cop pulled up and was totaly checking out the L. So this cop expalined to the other guys that there's no way I did these lawn jobs throughout my hood. well finally they get radio with another complaint about a red f150 pickup doing lawn jobs down the street. So needless to say they told me to go home and to go to bed. Well I told them to f#$k off and leave me alone. not like that though, its was a "thanks officer, have a nice night. Sorry about the confusion"

Thats another reason I don't like most cops, the feel they all have a power that they can abuse against the younger people.

just the other day I got pulled over by the same guy for a to fast of an acceleration. He remebered me and he let me go. Must have been that nice goodbye I gave him, HAHAHA.

 

A friend of mine got pulled over and the cop asked him why he was not wearing a seat belt. My friend said "because I wore it all day yesterday" The officer just laughed and let him go.


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Jason Hogan #29
www.JasonHogan.com

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To fast of an acceleration, damn thats harsh.

The way I see it, as long as you don't go over the speed limit or end up in someones trunk who care how quick you get it there.

 

That joke was posted last week on here when someone was scared about getting thrown in jail, remember?

He and his buddy were both pulled over in the L's for doing like 110 (so the officer said).

Anyhoo, it's gone around the net so much now it's getting crazy, lol Still funny!

BfB

 

That Civic story is awesome!!!

-Ollie


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"Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don't fail me now!!!"
-Elwood Blues

 

Jason,

How's your season coming along? you still 5th in points?

Berto

 

Will I had a friend who was pulled over in El Camino, Doing 90 in a 35 zone area. The cop could tell he was drunk so he gave him the test in one of those test he was told to say the alphabet back words starting from E to A so guess what my friend did. He jumped around with his back to the cop and said ABCDE then jumped back to face the cop and said I did it the cop just was like he did what i told him to do it back words but had to thinks then put him in the back seat of the cruiser

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Berto,
We have picked it up a good bit in the last few races. Still 5th in the points, but looking for the firts win at Lanier this week weekend. I also own the All time Track Record at Nashville now. Shoot me an e-mail soetime. jason@jasonhogan.com