Stupid People -
1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at its
intended victim during a holdup in Long Beach,
California, would be robber James Elliot did
something that can only inspire wonder: He peered
down the barrel and tried the trigger again.
This time it worked.

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2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in
a meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping
around, submitted a claim to his insurance
company. The company, suspecting negligence,
sent out one of its men to have a look for himself.
He tried the machine out and lost a finger. The
chef's claim was approved.

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3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a
space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned
with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space.
Understandably, he shot her.
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4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar,
a Zimbabwean bus driver found
that the 20 mental patients he was
supposed to be transporting from Harare
to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to
admit his incompetence, the driver
went to a nearby bus-stop and offered
everyone waiting there a free ride.
He then delivered the passengers to the
mental hospital, telling the staff
that the patients were very excitable and
prone to bizarre fantasies. The
deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
Hmmmmm...I like that one!
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5. An American teenager was in the
hospital yesterday recovering from serious
head wounds received from an oncoming train.
When asked how he received
the injuries, the lad told police that he was
simply trying to see how
close he could get his head to a moving train
before he was hit. DUH!!!!!
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6. A mother took her daughter to the doctor
and asked him to give her an
examination to determine the cause of
her daughters swollen abdomen. It
only took the doctor about 2 seconds to
say "Your daughter is pregnant."

The mother turned red with fury and she
argued with the doctor that her
daughter was a good girl and would never
compromise her reputation by
having sex with a boy. The doctor faced
the window and silently watched
the horizon. The mother became enraged
and screamed, "Quit looking out the
window! Aren't you paying attention to me?"

"Yes, of course I am paying
attention ma'am. It's just that the last time
this happened, a star appeared in the East,
and three wise men came. And I was hoping
that they would show up again.

 

there was just a story in the news this morning about a guy who went to rob a kfc but didn't get any money because the timelock safe wouldn't open. he wore nothing to cover his face. the cops arrested him the next day when he showed up to work his shift at the SAME kfc! (He has worked there for 2 years!!)

DUH!!

 

A seven foot ex-NBA player returned to his old neighborhood, put a stocking over his head and tried to rob a liquor store.

The propietor recognized him and said "Clyde, get out of here!"

To which the robber replied, "It ain't me, man."

 

This really happened at my work 2 years ago...

2 vietnamese guys got into an arguement over an electric screwdriver . So they went to the parking lot to "settle it" . One of the guys got the other in a head-lock , he then pulled a gun and tried to shoot him in the head while he had him in a head-lock. The bullet went thru the other guys cheek and into the shooters heart , killing himself accidently . However , I think it was blamed on the gun .

 

and i'm sure the gun company probably got sued too

 

Who got the screwdriver?

 

i guess the guy with the hole in his cheeks since he needs it to screw some screws in there??

 

The new guy got it. The company officially "terminated" both of them.