Rules...from the Man's Perspective
>
>
> We always hear "The Rules" from the feminine side
> Ok, we are now going to
> hear the rules from the man's side. These are the
> rules! Please note ...
> these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE.
>
>
> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl.
> If it's up, put
> it down.
>
> 1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live
> with it.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never
> going to think of it that
> way.
>
>
> 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything
> you wear is fine. Really.
>
> 1. Crying is blackmail.
>
>
> 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this
> one: Subtle hints do not
> work. Strong hints do not work Obvious hints do not
> work. Just say it!
>
>
> 1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and
> anniversaries on a calendar.
> Remind us frequently beforehand.
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to
> almost every
> question.
>
>
> 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help
> solving it. That's what
> we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>
>
> 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
> See a doctor.
>
> 1. Check your own car's oil, please. It's really
> quite simple.
>
> 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in
> an argument. In fact, all
> comments become null and void after 7 days.
>
>
> 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret
> girls, don't expect us to
> act like soap opera guys.
1. If something we said can be interpreted in two
> ways and one of the ways
> makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
>
> 1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's
> genetic.
>
>
> 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us
> how you want it done, not
> both. If you already know best how to do it, just do
> it yourself.
>
> 1. The relationship is never going to be like it was
> the first two
> months we were going out. Get over it.
>
> 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows
> default settings. Peach, for
> example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a
> fruit. We have no idea
> what mauve is
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
>
> 1 We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our
> lack of
> mindreading ability is not proof of how little we
> care about you.
>
>
> 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We
> will act like
> nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is
> just not worth the hassle.
>
> 1. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape

 

Excellent, this means that I am in shape.
Bill

 

All points are very good. But I think my favorite is "#1".

 

I thought GOD gave women two rights:

1 - The right to cook.

2 - The right to clean

and then Man gave them another right (out of the kindness of our heart)

3 - To right to remain silent

Right number 3 is the best

 

Go buy that book about men are from mars and women are from venus, you'll laugh your a-s off, they should have put it in the comedy section

 

Ahem.....

Shopping IS a sport.

Two can play THIS game...

Q. What should you give a man who has everything?
A. A woman to show him how to work it.

Q. Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A. To stop the snoring before it starts.

Q. How does a man show he's planning for the Future?
A. He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

Q. How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
A. At the circus the clowns don't talk.

Q. How do some men define Roe vs. Wade?
A. Two ways to cross a river.

Q. Why did God create man?
A. Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction_manuals"





All in fun, guys!!!

J in MD

 

JennIreland:

Hey I like that its pretty funny

But, shopping is NOT a sport. It's boaring. If people who designed malls were really smart they would have things for us men to do. For instance Sear's in nice, but how about a Speed Shop, general auto part's store, TV rooms (big screen TV's) with big cushy chairs, a FORD speed shop with TONS on stuff and toys to look at.

You women have to look at every piece of clothes like 3 times then ask us "does this look nice" after about 3 hours we don't care how ugly it looks, or if it makes you look fat we just say "yes it's great buy 2 of them" so we can get the hell out of there.

 

Heck I'd even settle if more female clothing stores would just have the standard group chairs for men to sit in while we wait.


See now that is planned. It's one of those 'female power mind games' trick. They do that on purpose so they have a better chance of getting what they want.

 

Ahhhh.... see? NOW you're catching on.

Out here in Maryland, we have an outlet mall called Arundel Mills. There's a store in there called the "Great Outdoors" or something like that. It's really cool. There's a "shooting range" that uses lasers, lotsa "GUY" stuff to do. A huge fish tank with Bass and crap in it. Boats for sale. Golf crap. Beef Jerky tasting stations. It's a dude's paradise. Oh, there's a rock climbing wall.

That where we drop our husbands off while we go SHOE SHOPPING!!! Can't have enough shoes!! It's kinda like the big jungle jim at McDonalds for kids. Someplace to dump them off while we do important things.

But I'm the best dressed F150 S'crew in town!!!



J in MD

 

Out in NJ malls we have alot of women who dress for attention so that guys are constantly getting thrown in the doghouse and the only way out is to hand over that little plastic card.

It's not fair!!!

 

I hear you about this "female mind game" more like brainwashing. They put us men in a daze, you know the kind you get after hours of looking at the same thing over and over and over and over and over etc. Almost to the point your ready to rent them a U-Haul for the what ever it is they are going to buy.

Worst thing, you WAIST like 5 hours shopping and they walk out with either someone so small you could stick it in your pocket or nothing at all.

The thing that use to get me is my ex loved looking at rings, the kind with a price of $800 and up. I would tell her if I am going to spend $800 plus I'd better need a buddy to help carry out what ever I bought. I mean damn you can find a car or truck to fix up for that money, why wear something that can fall down the drain?

However, my daughter, THANK GOD, is like me, she is in and out, if she don't spot something that catches her eye she is outta there, and as a PLUS she looks for bargins, God I love her plus she loves my truck and her and her friends tell me its PHAT. So my male friends THERE IS HOPE

P.S. The next thing I will teach my daughter:

How to leave the toliet set up when she is done

It's all in the training my friends, it's all in the training...

 

And the other thing I really hate about clothes shopping:

Add up the cost of all the clothes they buy that don't need or will rarely ever wear. It's almost gauranteed that that price will be more then what we spend on mods for our trucks. But some we get yelled and need to ask permision to buy stuff

So then you may not have to sit on the front porch with baseball bat then

 

Shopping is therapy.

Hey, I'm the one that goes to the discount clothing stores AND looks for the Clearance rack. I'm super cheap! Let's see, the outfit I have on today, a maroon sleeveless sweater and a matching skirt = $9.00. AND, I look good.

How's THAT?

Hey, do you guys want us to look all frumpy and mis-matched? Or do you want us to look GOOD when we're seen with you? Don't you think that we do it for YOU? We ask your opinions because we want YOU to approve of our appearance. The most important person in our lives. I always ask my husband's opinion about clothes because 1) he has better taste than me, and 2) I don't want to buy/wear something that he thinks is ugly or unflattering. When I get my nails done, I always ask if he likes the color. I value his opinion. And he does the same. We value each other's opinions, even when it comes to my truck. I check with him about mods, and we discuss it, and we agree on our decisions.

Just my opinion.

Jenn

 

I love you

Seriously though, with comments like these

and
and
you're gonna get thrown out of this conversation, as you are obviously not the standard. You must realize that women only ask men opinions out of common courtesy, to make them feel like they have a say.