Hazardous material

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Old Feb 5, 2002 | 11:56 AM
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Hazardous material

With the recent women and man and valentines day threads I though you guys would get a kick out of this
 
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Old Feb 5, 2002 | 12:05 PM
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Too funny, and true!!!
 
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Old Feb 5, 2002 | 12:07 PM
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LOL Thats a good one!
 
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Old Feb 5, 2002 | 08:15 PM
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one word....bueatiful
 
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Old Feb 5, 2002 | 10:07 PM
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From: F150online's version of AA
gotta pass that one around, i laughed at every one of them
 
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Old Feb 5, 2002 | 10:31 PM
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Talking

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!
 
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Old Feb 6, 2002 | 12:28 AM
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do you need a special permit to handle this hazardous material ? I'm thinking about getting one ...
 
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Old Feb 6, 2002 | 04:50 AM
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LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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Old Feb 6, 2002 | 06:36 AM
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Very funny!

I'll admit - this was amusing. I wish I had the skills to make 1 up for you guys - I have several ideas I'd include! LOL!
 
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Old Feb 6, 2002 | 09:59 AM
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Originally posted by cyberhiker
do you need a special permit to handle this hazardous material ? I'm thinking about getting one ...
yeah...MONEY!!!
 
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Old Feb 6, 2002 | 10:02 AM
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Found this joke funny...not meant to offend anyone!

Whats the difference between a BJ and a paycheck? You dont have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!
 
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Old Feb 6, 2002 | 11:19 AM
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Re: Very funny!

Originally posted by Cowlady
I'll admit - this was amusing. I wish I had the skills to make 1 up for you guys - I have several ideas I'd include! LOL!
That would be funny also, if I ever come across one I'll post it.
 
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Old Feb 6, 2002 | 11:35 AM
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From: TN
Cowlady..here you go! Found this one for you!

Hazardous Materials (Man)...


Element : Man

Symbol : Ah (short for *******)

Quantitative : Accepted at 7 inches though some isotopes can be as short as 4 inches.

Discoverer : Eve (discovered by accident one day when she had a craving for ribs)

Occurrence : Found following duel element Wo, often in high concentration near a perfect Wo specimen.


Physical properties :

a) Surface often covered with hair bristly in some areas, soft in others.

b) Boils when inconvenienced, freezes when faced with Logic and Common Sense, melts if treated like a God.

c) Obnoxious when mixed with C*H*-OH (any alcohol).

d) Can cause headaches and severe body aches; handle with extreme caution.

e) Tends to fall into very low energy state directly after reaction with Wo.

f) Gains considerable mass as specimen ages, loses reactive nature.

g) Specimens can be found in various states ranging from deeply sensitive to extremely thick.

h) Rarely found in pure form after 14th year.

i) When pressure is applied, becomes stiff and unyielding; yields only when subtlety, subterfuge, flattery are applied


Chemical properties :

a) All forms desire reaction with Wo, even when no further reaction is possible.

b) May react with several Wo isotopes in short period under extremely favourable conditions.

c) Most powerful embittering and aggravating agent known to Wo.

d) Usually willing to react with whatever is available.

e) Reaction Rates range from aborted/non-existent to pre-interaction effects (which tend to turn the specimen bright red.)

f) Reaction styles vary from extremely slow, calm and wet to violent/bloody.

g) When saturated with alcohol, will be fairly inert and will repel most other elements.

h) Is repelled by most household appliances and common household cleansers.

i) Is repelled by small children clothed in diapers, particularly those of the malodorous variety.

j) Is neutral to common courtesy and fairness.


Storage :

a) Best results apparently near 18 for high reaction rate, 25-35 for favourable reaction style.

a) Heavy boxes, top shelves, long walks late at night, free dinners for Wo...

b) Can be used in recreational activities.


Tests :

a) Pure specimen will rarely reveal purity, while reacted specimens broadcast information on many wavelengths.


Caution :

a) Tends to react extremely violently when other Man interferes with reaction to a particular Wo specimen. Otherwise very malleable under correct conditions.
 
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Old Feb 6, 2002 | 12:07 PM
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ROFLMAO...

that was great!
 
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