just the other day I was concidering getting me one of those pretty young blond passenger seat mods , I checked quite a few out and finally narrowed it down to just one . So I go to pick her up and her dad meets me at the door with pen and paper in hand . it seems I have to fill out an applacation :

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER NOTE:
This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a
complete financial statement job history, lineage, and current medical report
from your doctor.
1. NAME _______________________________ DATE OF BIRTH ________________
2. HEIGHT ____________________ WEIGHT __________ I.Q _______ G.P.A.______
3. SOCIAL SECURITY # _____________ DRIVERS LICENSE # __________________
4. BOY SCOUT RANK __________________________________________________ __
5. HOME ADDRESS _________________ CITY/STATE ___________ ZIP _________
6. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent?___________________________
If No., EXPLAIN __________________________________________________ _
7. Number of years your parents have been married
____________________________
8. Do you own a van? ______ A truck with oversized tires? ______
A waterbed? _______ Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button
ring? ___
A tattoo_________________ (If "yes" to any of #8, discontinue
application and leave
premises )
9. In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?____________________
__________________________________________________ _____________________
10. In 50 words or lest, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?

__________________________________________________ _______________________
__________________________________________________ _____________________
11. In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE" mean to you? _______________

__________________________________________________ ________________________
12. Church you attend _____________ How often do you attend
__________________
13. When would be the best time to interview your father, mother and
priest/rabbi/minister? _____________________________________
14. Answer by filling in the blank: please answer freely. ALL answers are
confidential (That means I won't tell anyone-ever-I promise.)
a) If I were shot the last place on my body I would want wounded is
___________
b) If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my
__________________
c) A woman's place is in the ________________________________________
d) The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is
________________
e) When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is her
______________
( NOTE: If your answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue. Leave
premises
keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is
advised.)
15. What do you want to be IF you grow up? __________________________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST
OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT
TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY
CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
________________________________________ Signature
( That
means your name, moron)
Thank you for your interest Please allow four to six years for processing.

 

OMG, you have to be joking!

 

cyberhiker,

I have two daughters 15 and 13 this is gonna go over big at the dinner table tonight....thanks



Ed

 

Dang it. I was done on question 8. The oversized tires did me in. Meek

 

Ok, Ok, - I passed.

Now what will my WIFE say ???

rr

 

WOW, talk about crash and burn..........is there one with less standards like,

1. Name? _______________
2. Is she cute? _______________
3. Signature ________________

 

gave that same thing to my 16 year old sister to take and pass out at shool w/ my phone #