These are (supposedly) actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. The comments were (supposedly) taken off actual police car videos around the country:


1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." ( National Crime Information Center )

13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....

16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.. Sign here."

 

every single one of those are straight awesome!

 

8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

 

I lol'd for this one:

"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

 

Last one is the best

 

 

Saw it 2 years ago hanging on a high school teacher's wall. I laughed at it then and I'm laughing at it now.

 

I've personally said 2, 4, 11, 12, and 13.
I think my personal best was when I pulled a Dr. over one night for doing 65 in a 35. He and is "wife" were dressed to the nines, he in a tux and her in a ball gown. I didn't even get to ask him for his OL and reg when he shouts, "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?" I said "Why, you got amnesia? Maybe the lady in the car with you knows." He got the ticket. LOL

 

That right there is funny!

 

LOL'd at the last one

 

I've used 2, 4, 7, 12, and 13 or some variation of them. I used a variant of 13 on every DUI I processed. Six shots of beer is very different than six 40's.

 

Here is one I heard personally last week as I was getting a speeding ticket in BFE South Dakota
We were chatting about how dangerous it was for the LEOs these days on traffic stops and the Officer tells me ...

"yeah, but the new Sheriff doesn't think so, he thinks he's ********* Andy Griffith"
I busted a gut as I signed my ticket.

 

I used a couple of those...

good one last night from a DUI was the guy said he had "6 hard pops"......he was referring to Jack and Coke.