Hmmm that is the million dollar question...

Hopefully you guys can help me out here. I think some guys on here are married and somewhat older then me (no offense lol) and might have some good insight and ideas to help me out.

Recently I just got married (everything is great so far lol) we get along great and have no problems except for money. Which the whole money thing is not to bad but let me get you all up to speed to show you.

First she is a financial advisor (-1 against me lol)
Second she saves, saves, saves
Third she is a coupon shopper (she loves to save money which is fine by me)


First me im a IT guy
Second me I like to spend ( i like toys)
Third me even though i spend i like to find deals and use coupons too

Its like pulling teeth sometimes to spend our money that we have together to buy something.

So my question is how do you guys manage to share money and make sure both of you are happy.

 

I was the same way. Then I got my own account and she got her own account. We then opened a house account. We both put the same amount of money each week into the house account to pay bills. What we have left over in each of ours account is ours. (mine is mine and hers is hers) That's how we share our money. I know what I have to play with and so does she. My wife works at a bank, so she knows how to manage money. Now that I have my own account, I've learned to manage my own money. Hope this helps.

 

Ok so after the bills are paid.. how do you determine what you have to pay for or what she has to pay for.

Lets say you want to buy some tools... does it come out of the joint money or does it come out of your money?

 

I think the old saying is before you get married you each have your own money, then you get married and it is married money. What is yours is hers and what is hers is hers... LOL!! Thats just the way it works in our house anyway... But I dont mind, because I am preety tight and she is frugal as well. We dont have money trouble basically because we discuss any purchases that are over a couple hundered bucks. As long as the bills are paid, and I consider savings a bill (its just easier to save when you make it mandatory like a bill), then what ever is left over we use for entertainment.... I am sure that because we both make good money, I'm an engineer and she is a nurse, that the money thing isnt really a big deal, but I can see how it would be a touchy subject if you didnt have a whole lot coming in...... All in all I think that if you guys can come up with an amount that you both can agree isnt too much money to spend on a whim, and you discuss purchases of more than that particular amount, then the money problem shouldnt be too big of a deal..... I hope this helps!!

 

The house bill's come's out of the house account. We each put same amount in the account. What's left over in that account either sits there or it goes toward something for the house. Stuff that I buy for myself, comes out of my account.

 

Make a budget together. Include all bills, savings (both long term and future purchases - like a new TV, vacation, etc.). This has to be a joint effort and you both have to compromise. Make sure you include a savings item for misc household (repair appliances, home improvement, etc.).

Divide whatever is left between you as an 'allowance.'

Periodically review your financial goals and the budget and make changes as necessary.

Obviously any budget committments (new vehicle, new home, expensive toy like a home theater) that will be 'shared' must be approved by both of you.

Congratulations on your marriage. After 25 years (Dec 29), I can honestly say it's the best thing I've ever done and the hardest thing to keep going.

 

Married for 31 years. I am a CPA so it would kind of be assumed that I would manage the money...

I have found that there are 3 simple rules with money in a marriage:

1. What is hers is hers.
2. What is yours is hers.
3. What belongs to both of you, is hers.

If you think begging for a few crumbs is bad now, try doing it AFTER the divorce....

Seriously though, based on the description given, follow the 3 rules above and when you are my age and in fantastic financial shape you will be forever grateful. You will also find that having given up a few gadget toys now will allow you to buy real toys in the future.

 

I put enough in checking each pay check to pay my share of the bills and extra in our savings for large family purches or trips etc.. I keep the rest as my money. I don't write checks. When I use the credit card to buy things I pay it off out of my money. Been married for umm, crap, 16 or 17 years. 3 kids. It's worked well for us.

 

That describes my wife.
She works in budget.
She is a saver, when we got married she had $3,000, I had ten cents.
Coupons? My wife would buy dog crap if there was a coupon for it.

We both work and I have laid my paycheck at her feet for 32 years.
I guess I get what one would call an allowance, started out at $5 per week many decades ago, I'm now up to $12.
(plus whatever I can steal out of her purse)


The upside is we are completely debt free and I want for nothing.

Any other formula would just be me screwing things up.

 

I have been married for a little over a year now. My wife and I do not have a joint account. She has her bank account and I have mine.
She was an accounting major for a couple of years in college so she is big on saving, paying extra on the mortgage, paying extra on car payments, etc.
I like to save money too but I am not one to lay out a budget like she does.

She takes care of paying the bills every month and then she tells me my half of it and I write her a check. The only time I ever use checks.

It works for us.

 

hmmmm... 95% of you say the wife controls the money and whatever i have is not mine anymore

Now i know where "who wears the pants in the household" came from lol

I probably need to find something that works for both of us.

 

Married almost 2yrs and Ive got the same problem we have a joint account. She is great with money but she will spend a little here and there on herself, so when I want to spend $100 or so on the truck shes like no u don't need to do that. So then I say oh ok Nails- $xx, Jewelry $xx etc etc didn't really have to get all that, then she usually says ok.

 

If it was the other way around we all would have modded to the max trucks. I know if I controlled the checkbook we probably would be broke.

 

That's why you each get an allowance. You don't have to remember nails-$xx, jewelry-$xx, spa-$xx, etc. When your allowance is gone, you don't spend anymore. Same for her.

Eventually it becomes second nature and you stop worrying about yours and mine - everything becomes ours.

 

exactly right!!!!!!!

but you have to beg for it before she realize its something that makes us happy. Everytime she spends i dont say a word nor do i care cuz i know it makes her happy.