i have noticed some guys post problems they are having with their women, including break ups, cheating, etc. well me and my girl have been together for about 10 months and the first 8 months was amazing. vacations, dinner, relaxing, doing what we love. the past 2 months have been pretty different from that. when either one of us gets home from work we just wanna relax and watch TV and eat and do watever and take our minds off work. i am a paramedic and i see some crazy **** everyday and she works with children with autism so she gets stressed out with that too. if i come home and shes already there from her day off she gets upset when i dont talk much. and then when i am on my day(s) off and she gets home shes a tired and wants to relax as well. i give her her space when shes tired and try not to get in her face and talk, but she trips out thinking i am in a bad mood and what. and i do talk, she tells me to just relax and that she worked today and i did jack ****. theres no middle ground with her. the past 2 months have been really nothing other than fighting, with the occasional going out to dinner and going on appointments and wat not. i love her to death and i know we are both each others worlds but its just getting old. she also has been getting on my *** about not saving money, and spending money on my truck (which is what we all do, right?!) i give myself credit for not drinking a lot because she hates that and i respect that. but the fighting and arguing about stupid **** is getting old. any ideas...ive thought about going to see a relationship counselor. we are both young at 22 and i know we both still have some growing up to do, but the arguing and bickering is retarded. anyways, just lookin for some comments/suggestions.
i know im not the only guy here that has/is gone through this so..
thanks fellas

 

you are only 22 right?? get out... dont even bother with counseling. plenty of woman out there and your 20s should be spent with as many different types of woman..trust me you will learn alot in the next 5 -10 years about what you wil and wont tolerate. meanwhile save money for a house and keep your career going forward. youll look back at this chick and laugh about the whole thing..weve all been there.

 

You've both got to figure out if this relationship is really what you both want or is it just convenient. Sometimes a little time apart (with no other fooling around) makes you appreciate what you have there. Good luck and if someone told you relationships are easy, they lied.

 

Either get out or have a kid.

My wife and I went through this stage but I almost lost her during child birth. I was SCARED ****LESS! Then all of a sudden, the petty things didnt matter. Yes we still argue about money and what to do with the baby. But no more arguing over say me putting white clothes in with the dark.

 

Personally, if I'm 22 and I start having this kind of trouble with a girl, I'm gone. What's really the point in trying to work it out at your age? Move on and enjoy the bounty of women and experiences that life has to offer at your age!

Oh yeah -- one additional bit of advice: Co-habitating at your age is really stupid. Dude, you have your entire life to live with the girl you eventually marry, so get yourself a roomate and let the girlfriend get one for herself.

Good luck.....

 

Im twenty and I was in the same situation as you about six months ago and its not worth it to go through the hassle, I thought about just stickin it out because I thought I had everything I wanted but when I finally ended it.. it was tough for a while but you will look back and go what the hell was I thinking puttin my self through her sh't. Plus there is always so many more people out there that are our age, I say go live and have fun its not worth it and there are many more people out there for you.

 

It has been my experience that at least 70% of women are bi-polar lol. They change there minds and mood so often there is no hope of ever keeping up. It sounds like you have one of the "broken" ones. Throw her back and keep fishing.

 

when they start nagging its time to get out.. "you work to much" or we dont spend enough time together etc.. ok you work alot but when the check comes after the dinner are they reaching for there purse.. most times no.. . im not saying they are all like that but... to common

 

ya i hear all you. im not ready to bounce yet..ill give it some time and see how things go this summer. i have saved up a bunch of money from working a lot of overtime so we are going on a few vacations. if we get in one argument im leavin her *** in the Caribbean and having her come home with her **** packed up

 

Try talking to her man to woman, do thing around the house together, clean, whatever and if she still gives you **** then kick the biatch out!! simple stuff.


Damm kids....

 

This sounds awfully familiar. First I tried the logical approach of discussing things. That only goes so far with women before they start to talk in circles, not making any sense, all while trying to convince you that you're wrong and they're right. That gets old pretty fast. So I tried the - whatever, just let her talk and say as very little as possible in return approach. Discovered here that women just don't know when to shut the f up. They'll continue to talk forever if you let them. I even tried doing things her way but that rarely made any sense so I gave that up. If it's late at night, going to sleep is a great option. This works especially well if you're currently trying step two where you say as little as possible while she does all the talking until she eventually gives up. You need to be in bed or atleast on the couch for this to work but it's perfect. While she carries on, you're sound asleep. You don't have to hear it and she tires herself out.

Eventually, all of these failed and I'm now single and enjoying the peace and quiet. So really, maybe you shouldn't listen to me. Or maybe you should depending on how you look at it. Chances are, it's not going to get better so tell her you're sick of the BS and walk if need be.

 

Mig,

One thing you and your girl might want to try is leaving work at work. I'm not saying that you drag it all home, but with the stress that both ya'll carry at work, it might be worth just trying to separate work from home as much as possible. I know there are somethings that you can't help but carry with you, we've all got a few calls hanging around in our head 24/7.

Trying to just forget about it all as much as possible can take a lot of stress out of the relationship and let you enjoy each others company again.

I lost a great girl because I brought a lot of my work stress home. I've known many medics, firefighters, and cops that have been through hell with their spouses because of the stresses of work. Don't fall into that category yourself.

Good luck bud



Well put

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Please don't have a kid to save a relationship. That's what's wrong with the country. I understand that it may save 1 out of 100 relationships but if you are fighting now you will be in for a rude awakening if you have a kid added onto that.

I have 3 kids and we have been married 12 years (got married when I was 27). We rarely fight about anything and we never have in the 15 years we have been together. Just your standard bickering over petty things, like when my wife backed her van into a car 1 week after the same panel got repainted (not her fault the first time). And then she tells me she doesn't care if it has a couple of small scratches on it. What?!? I can't have a 2 year old vehicles with scratches.

Good luck to the OP. It is my experience that things will not get better and you will need to bail. See how vacation goes.

 

TALK TO HER.

seriously talking to a bunch of commitment phobics on a forum isn't a good idea.

The bottom line to all relationship failures is lack of communication!

Tell her whats bothering you, tell her how you feel and you guys can either decide on a way to fix it or go your separate ways.