Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists, Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a

divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our

two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile; slate it up

to irreconcilable differences, and go on our own ways.



Here is a model dissolution agreement:



Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. We would gladly take every county that went

red in the last election and you could have the blue counties but you would be left with only 15% of America so we will probably have to work something else out.



After that it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have

such distinct and disparate tastes. We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.



Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and

Rosie O'Donnell (you are however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move them).



We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street. You can have your

beloved homeless, home boys, hippies, and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan Hockey Moms, greedy CEO's, and Rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles

and give you NBC and Hollywood .



You can make nice with Iran , Palestine , and France , and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can

have the peaceniks and war protestors. When our allies or way of life are under assault, we'll provide them job security..



We'll keep our Judeo-Christian Values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, and Shirley McClain. You can have the U.N. But

we will no longer be paying the bill. We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Volvo, Toyota Prius, and

Subaru station wagon you can find.



You can give everyone healthcare, if you can find any practicing Doctors (that is practicing, Howard Dean) who will follow to your

turf (sic). We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.



We'll keep 'The Battle Hymn of the Republic' and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, 'I'd Like

to Teach The World To Sing', 'Kum Ba Ya', or 'We Are the World'.



We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty its best shot.



Since it often so offends you we'll keep our History, our Name, and our Flag.



Would you agree to this? If so please pass it along to other like minded patriots, and if you do not agree just hit delete and hang on.



In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR on who will need whose help in 15 years..



Sincerely,



John J. Wall



Law Student and an American







PS. Please take Barbara Streisand.

 

Sounds like a deal

 

Wow, free time.

 

awesome.

 

uh, when can we start this movement? Hopefully soon

 

Jesus Christ almighty people.

Cry me a god damn river...

 

I'm predicting you'll be really tired of typing that same post for 4 years.

 

I'm about to god damn sig it! I don't see why people get their panties in such a wad over having a democrat as a Prez. Everyone says Democrats are sore winners, but all I see is b**ching about Obama this and that. Quit whining about it people, there's nothing you or I can do about it. The most you can hope for is that he gets caught getting a BJ like the last democrat.

I didn't vote for him so don't call me a hippy liberal douche.

 

Don't take it so seriously, it's just a joke.
Using humor to get a point across.

p.s.
In case it's not a joke...
...No Deal! Pound Sand!

 

 

uhm, who's panties in a bunch? sounds like yours... I didnt like obama, why? cause he was HALF BLACK, and the MEDIA LOVED IT too much.

the "If you dont like obama you're a racist" movement is in overdrive, courtesy of a-hole whiners like u

OP: i like it!

 

Oh it's because of me right? Didn't I say I DID NOT vote for him. I tired of every other political thread being the exact same Obama hate thread. Why don't we bundle all political threads together since they all end the same (Obama is Evil/Communist/Anti-Christ).

 

Ill sign that bill ....... i already got a great little eco friendly accord ill donate to the other half so some hobo or hippie can score some drugs with it

 

Agreed. And not to throw the whole pig headed thing out there, but to vote for a man because he is "half black and the media loved it" is just as pig headed as voting for him because he is black. I suspect you didn't do any research into either candidate before you made the assumption that you hated O'Bama.

O'Bama has been in office what half a month? And you guys act like its the end of the world. Has anything personall affected you since he has been in office? Untill it does you have no reason to rant on and on how we need a new nation, blah, blah, blah, blah...

 

4.6 Punisher...you're right, I guess the truth always comes out in the end.

This is a humor thread, lighten up, and I know you did not vote for him. But still, us anti-liberals can have the south from Virginia all the way over to Texas or Arizona and the flaming hippie libs can have everything else. Ready? Break!