Just got back from visiting my grandparents in Summerfield, FL. My grandfather is in a terminal battle with cancer and ever fiber of my being is trying to find an answer to why him.
He's honestly the strongest person I've ever known, both physically and mentally. Stubborn and honest to the core, I've always looked up to him. He's always been brutally honest, regardless of how bad the words hurt. He's always pushed me, always made me work and think harder. Because of him, I'm a better man, father and person... there will never be any words I can use to thank him enough for everything he's done.
I've always known that the day would come where my family and I would lose him, but never in a million years did I ever think that his strength and dignity would be stripped away so slowly, so painfully...
I've shed more tears with him this past week than I ever have. I've never seen this man of few emotions shed a tear, til I walked in unexpectedly Monday afternoon. They expected my uncle, but not me. Even when my grandmother saw us get out of my SCrew, she couldn't believe I was there.
My grandfather thought it was silly that I dropped everything and left my wife and two lil girls to drive to Florida for a few days to see him and help my grandmother out around the house. I told him it was silly of him to think I wouldn't.
Little things we did for the few days we were there brought great joy and thanks, along with more tears. Fixing the plaque grandpa had gotten when he retired from the prison system here in CT... organizing/cleaning his shed... washing his SCab and replacing his air filter... lol, changing a lightbulb grandma couldn't reach...
From his work in a Max prison, to the fire dept., to working with Habitat... he touched and enriched so many peoples' lives. He wasn't happy unless he was working.
I don't know where I'm going with this... guess I'm just venting a lil. Wish I had more time with him. Wish there were more words I could say to him.
The only thing I wish for him now, is that he goes in his sleep, like he always wanted from the begining. Painlessly slipping away. Leaving this world for perhaps a better place. Somewhere where he can once again be happy with a tool in his hand, and a smile on his face.

I'd give anything right now to have more time with him.

 

I understand your pain. It's a horrible death. My Dad died from stomach cancer at the age of 64. Your Grandfather sounds a lot like the type of man my Dad was.

 

Sorry Turbo. That was a nice post, and I'm sure your Grandfather knows how you feel.

 

God bless you and your family---your Grandpa will be our prayers...

Peace,

TimC.

 

I know exactly what you are going through and my heart goes out to you and your family. I lost my father to stomach cancer the day after Christmas. He went in for some tests on Dec. 9th. He was supposed to be released the following day but he never came out. We didn't even know it was cancer until Dec. 16th and he passed away 10 days later. My dad was a great man and I too feel his dignity was taken away with the way he died. Cancer is a horrible thing. My thoughts and prayers are with your grandfather.

 

Sorry to hear man. Things like this really put a different perspective on the appreciation of life, ya' know. Take care and be strong for your fam

 

Be strong guy.... I know where you are. Lost my mom to lung cancer and your right, the hardest thing was watching her go down hill and suffer....

Spend every minute you can with them...

Woof
Bowser

 

Hang in there Turbo and may God bless you and your family. I lost my dad in August due a blood clot 2 weeks after the doctors removed his kidney due to his cancer being too far gone. The only thing I could tell myself was that at least he passed away and did not have to suffer any longer. I feel your pain and all I can tell you is just remember all the good times before his cancer.

 

God bless, and I personally believe that just the fact you care as much as you do means alot. I know ppl talk about how they should have this or that, I really never did let my grandmother how much she meant to me. She fell into a comma one day and never came back through, I just hope in faith she will know how I felt. So honestly Thumbs up to you showing your care and love man I hope that one day when the time comes I can recieve such a wonderfull family as you are tryin to show your grandfather.

 

Your grandfather will be in my thoughts and prayers.

 

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and prayers. I honestly don't know how to feel lately. I've been going thru mood swings privately and feel like I'm gonna lose it. I sit in the bathroom, my truck, the garge and quietly cry, not wanting my wife to see, and definately not wanting either of my daughters see their daddy losing his mind.
I keep replaying all the times I've spent with my grandfather in my head. Both good and bad. Thick and thin. I remember all the things he's taught me, all the advice he's given me. I keep wondering if I did everything I could, or said everything I should have throughout my life to him. I know he was proud of me, even when I was on track to royally screw my life up back when I was a teenager.
We gave each other biggest hug just before I left, and to hear him quietly cry in my ear as he thanked me for "stopping by" (1100miles from my home)... it seriously broke me.

Some of you here know I'm not religious by any means, but I have been praying to whomever/whatever... that when my grandfathers time comes, it be quick and painless.
That's they way he wanted it.
As he said, "No fussin, just get it over with and be quick about it cause there's things need tendin to".

 

Cancer sucks. Lost my mom when she was only 39. To make it worse it was only a couple years after she had gotten re-married and I had never seen her happier. It was also a year before my daughter was born and I can only imagine how much ecstatic she would have been having a granddaughter.
That was 21 years ago. Seldom does a day go by that I don't think of her.
All I can say is be strong and know you're not alone.
There's never a good time to go and we all know it has to happen but at least for me when cancer is the cause I feel we've been cheated.

Thoughts and prayers are with you.

 

My thoughts and prayers go out to your family.
I lost my mom in 2005 to lung cancer she was 53. It was a long hard battle! I lived ten minutes from her and saw her every day during the ordeal all the way to being at her side when she passed. You never get over things like this you just have to move on and deal with the emotions. Get your wife involved...it sucks to cry alone about ***** like this!
Feeling your pain!
Shane

 

This is a point in your life when you realize there is more. Have the Faith.
My prayers are with you. If you have read any of my posts, you know how I feel, and now more than ever I want you to know, there is more. This life we live here is to prepare us for our future.
Your Grandfather will never be gone, because you will always carry him with you.

 

Nice post Turbo,
I don't have anything to add that hasnt been said, just wanted you to know you're in my thoughts.

When I went through it with my dad, I found myself going into this self destruct mode because I was so angry all the time.
Be good to yourself during this awful time in your life.