ATST's Komedy Korner...started by me!
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Joined: May 1999
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From: Fast46TritonVille
ATST's Komedy Korner...started by me!
Do your thing ATST!
Idea by: RoadRunner
Started by: Fast46triton
Wierd person making jokes: ATST
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Fast46Triton ®
1999 Ford F150 XLT Supercab, Shortbed, 4x2, 4 wheel disc brakes/4 wheel Anti-Lock Brakes, Cloth Seats, Amazon green, 16" All season tires, Soft Tonneau Cover, CD Player, 4.6 liter Triton V8 with possible piston slap!, 3:55 ls, towing package, 4 speed auto, K&N Airfilter
The only part that you are going to see of my truck is my tailgate so get used to it!
[This message has been edited by fast46triton (edited 01-25-2000).]
Idea by: RoadRunner
Started by: Fast46triton
Wierd person making jokes: ATST
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Fast46Triton ®
1999 Ford F150 XLT Supercab, Shortbed, 4x2, 4 wheel disc brakes/4 wheel Anti-Lock Brakes, Cloth Seats, Amazon green, 16" All season tires, Soft Tonneau Cover, CD Player, 4.6 liter Triton V8 with possible piston slap!, 3:55 ls, towing package, 4 speed auto, K&N Airfilter
The only part that you are going to see of my truck is my tailgate so get used to it!
[This message has been edited by fast46triton (edited 01-25-2000).]
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 118
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From: Canada's TROPICAL paradise
Hey fast - what a great idea man - were'd you get it <GGGG>
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98 F150 S/C 4.6 2wd Vermillion/Silver,HD Tow Pkg, Boards, Vents, Lund Bug Chaser, DIY "breezer" Tailgate, 5th whl hitch, Tool box, 16" OEM Mag's,BEEP,BEEP roadrunner floor mats.
Mobil1 /Wix Oil filter/ K&N / air box mod.
In looks & go - Chevy - like a rock.
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98 F150 S/C 4.6 2wd Vermillion/Silver,HD Tow Pkg, Boards, Vents, Lund Bug Chaser, DIY "breezer" Tailgate, 5th whl hitch, Tool box, 16" OEM Mag's,BEEP,BEEP roadrunner floor mats.
Mobil1 /Wix Oil filter/ K&N / air box mod.
In looks & go - Chevy - like a rock.
Senior Member
Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 1,506
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From: Bakersfield, CA, USA
ATST - I thought you once said that you would'nt be posting any pictures of yourself! And your first one is a vacation photo, no less.
BTW, I've been to Australia, and the people are great! Its a place where men are men, and the sheep are....AFRAID!
[This message has been edited by dirt bike dave (edited 01-26-2000).]
BTW, I've been to Australia, and the people are great! Its a place where men are men, and the sheep are....AFRAID!
[This message has been edited by dirt bike dave (edited 01-26-2000).]
Trending Topics
Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 58
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From: Jourdanton, TX, USA
Women's T-Shirt Sayings:
Don't **** me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
Guys have feelings too. But like... who cares?
I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.
Next mood swing: 6 minutes.
I hate everybody, and you're next.
Please don't make me kill you.
And your point is...?
I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now.
I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day.
Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.
Remember my name - you'll be screaming it later.
You KNOW you want me.
Don't worry. It'll only seem kinky the first time...
Of course I don't look busy... I did it right the first time.
Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?
I'm multi-talented: I can talk and **** you off at the same time.
You, me, whipped cream, handcuffs. Any questions?
Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win.
You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP.
All stressed out and no one to choke.
I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people.
How can I miss you if you won't go away?
Sorry if I looked interested. I'm not.
If we are what we eat, I'm fast, cheap and easy.
Nobody knows I'm not wearing underwear.
I'm out of estrogen and I have a gun.
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Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 692
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From: Michigan Rocks and then some too!!!
New research indicates that incompetent people tend not to know they are incompetent.
Not only that, they also tend to be very confident that they know what they're doing -- even more confident of their own competence than people who really do know what they're doing.
The New York Times reports that Cornell University psychology professor David Dunning reached those conclusions in a study he conducted with a graduate student, and wrote about his findings in the December issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
The researchers concluded that one reason incompetent people do not know how much they do not know, is that the cognitive skills required to be competent are also required for recognizing actual competence. Researcher Justin Kruger told the Times that the incompetence of incompetent people "robs them of their ability to realize" they have a problem. It also makes it difficult for incompetent folks to recognize competence in others. By the way, the researchers say they also noticed that people who can't tell a joke tend not to realize that they're not funny -- and as a result they persist in telling jokes badly.
[This message has been edited by Andthensometoo (edited 01-30-2000).]
Not only that, they also tend to be very confident that they know what they're doing -- even more confident of their own competence than people who really do know what they're doing.
The New York Times reports that Cornell University psychology professor David Dunning reached those conclusions in a study he conducted with a graduate student, and wrote about his findings in the December issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
The researchers concluded that one reason incompetent people do not know how much they do not know, is that the cognitive skills required to be competent are also required for recognizing actual competence. Researcher Justin Kruger told the Times that the incompetence of incompetent people "robs them of their ability to realize" they have a problem. It also makes it difficult for incompetent folks to recognize competence in others. By the way, the researchers say they also noticed that people who can't tell a joke tend not to realize that they're not funny -- and as a result they persist in telling jokes badly.
[This message has been edited by Andthensometoo (edited 01-30-2000).]
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From: Michigan Rocks and then some too!!!
Just a few thoughts:
"The gene pool could use a little chlorine"
"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes"
"All generalizations are false"
"Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine"
"Real women don't have hot flashes -- they have power surges."
"OK, who stopped the payment on my reality check?"
"Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!"
"Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all its students!"
"The gene pool could use a little chlorine"
"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes"
"All generalizations are false"
"Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine"
"Real women don't have hot flashes -- they have power surges."
"OK, who stopped the payment on my reality check?"
"Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!"
"Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all its students!"
Senior Member
Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 692
Likes: 0
From: Michigan Rocks and then some too!!!
Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds?
A: Because at 69 they blow a rod...
Q:Why is being in the military like a "good time"?
A:The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
Q:What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast?
A:They're hiring.
Q:Why do drivers education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on
Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
A:Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
A: Because at 69 they blow a rod...
Q:Why is being in the military like a "good time"?
A:The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
Q:What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast?
A:They're hiring.
Q:Why do drivers education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on
Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
A:Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Senior Member
Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 692
Likes: 0
From: Michigan Rocks and then some too!!!
The blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some bottom deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don't sell bottom deodorant, and never have.
Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more.
"I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don't have any."
"But I always get it here," says the blonde.
"Do you have the container it comes in?"
"Yes!" said the blonde, "I will go and get it."
She returns with the container and hands it to the chemist who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant."
The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container, "To apply, push up bottom."
Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more.
"I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don't have any."
"But I always get it here," says the blonde.
"Do you have the container it comes in?"
"Yes!" said the blonde, "I will go and get it."
She returns with the container and hands it to the chemist who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant."
The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container, "To apply, push up bottom."
Senior Member
Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 692
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From: Michigan Rocks and then some too!!!
The Baked Bean Story
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it
was apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, she'll never go
through with the marriage with me carrying on like this, so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Shortly after that they were married.
A few months later, on the way home from work, his car broke down and since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her that he would be late because he had to walk. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk he figured he could walk off any ill affects before he got home. So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had three extra large helpings of baked beans. All the way home he
putt-putted. By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe. His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!."
She put a blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peak. At this point he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as his wife was about to remove the
blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned, and she went to answer the phone.
While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to
one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him. He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. He raised his leg and rriiippp! It sounded like a diesel engine revving,
and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, he tried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would dissipate. He got another urge. This was a real blue ribbon winner, the windows shook, the dishes on the table
rattled and a minute later the flowers on the table were dead. While keeping an ear tuned in on the conversation in the hallway, and keeping his promise of staying blindfolded, he carried on like this for the next ten minutes, farting and then fanning each time with his napkin. When he heard the phone farewells he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of
innocence when his wife walked in. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner table. After assuring her he had not peeked, she removed the blindfold and yelled, Surprise! To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his
surprise birthday party.
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it
was apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, she'll never go
through with the marriage with me carrying on like this, so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Shortly after that they were married.
A few months later, on the way home from work, his car broke down and since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her that he would be late because he had to walk. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk he figured he could walk off any ill affects before he got home. So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had three extra large helpings of baked beans. All the way home he
putt-putted. By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe. His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!."
She put a blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peak. At this point he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as his wife was about to remove the
blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned, and she went to answer the phone.
While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to
one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him. He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. He raised his leg and rriiippp! It sounded like a diesel engine revving,
and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, he tried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would dissipate. He got another urge. This was a real blue ribbon winner, the windows shook, the dishes on the table
rattled and a minute later the flowers on the table were dead. While keeping an ear tuned in on the conversation in the hallway, and keeping his promise of staying blindfolded, he carried on like this for the next ten minutes, farting and then fanning each time with his napkin. When he heard the phone farewells he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of
innocence when his wife walked in. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner table. After assuring her he had not peeked, she removed the blindfold and yelled, Surprise! To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his
surprise birthday party.