A guy put an add in the paper for someone to paint his porch. A blond showd up and she said that she would paint his porch. The guy said ok and gave her several cans of green paint and brushes. He said Let me know when your thru and I'll pay you $300.00.

In about one hour she came back and told the guy that she was finished. The guy said that was very fast - did you have any trouble?

The blond said "No - but I better tell you that you dont have a porshe, you have a BMW.

 

Maybe not as dumb as me. Took a couple tries to get it.

 

Hey its not Tamster'S fault she is blonde...............DAVE

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1998 F-150, SC/Flairside,oxford white 4x2,4.6,auto,3.55s,nerf bars,cls 111 towing,bed liner w/mat,atlas polished wheels w/285/75 R/16 BFG A/Ts (black side out),all plastics guards/bug shields,air raid/k & n filter, superchipped, duals out the back corners, flow master 3 chamber, snug top lid, f-150 online sticker back window-honk if you see me!!! Fabtech 3 1/2 lift .coverking dash cover.
San Antonio
DWESSELS89@AOL.COM

 

Finally, something that isn't my fault.

Okay, so a blonde wakes up smelling smoke, runs out of the house to the one next door and calls 911, "Help, my house is on fire!!"
"Calm down lady! What's your address?"
"123 Willow."
"Okay. How do we get there?"
"What? You don't have the big red trucks any more?"




[This message has been edited by Tamster (edited 01-10-2000).]

 

Okay here's achange for ya, a not so dumb blonde

A Blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security
for such a loan, so the Blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce, parked
on the street, in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the Blonde returns, repays the $5000. and the interest which is $15.41. The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that
you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us, is why would you bother to borrow $5000?"
The Blonde replied, "Where else in New York can I park my car for 2 weeks for $15?"


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99 F250XLT Supercab LD
5.4L 3.73 LS
White/Silver
Graphite interior
6 CD changer/Captain's Chairs

 

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other ona flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa." Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees
to the game.The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. Okay says the lawyer, your turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500. The blonde says, "Thank you", and turns back to get some more
sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.


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Andthensometoo ®
"Moonlight Blue" 98 F150 SC XLT 2WD 4.6, 3.55 LS Tow Pkg. SUPERCHIP, K&N Airbox mod. w/ "Cool" intake, Mobil One Oil, Bosch +4's, Throttle Body Spacer Plate. Lund Fastback, Lighted visor, Runninng Boards, Crome Taillight covers, Polished Steel Fenderwell Moldings, Smoked Bug and Rain guards, Shelf-it, Carpet dash cover, "Andthensometoo" in silver Letters 3" tall on tail gate. Red Wings license plate in front, Red Wings license plate frame in back, Little Detroit Viper hanging from mirror, Oh yeah, and one "Blacked-out" grill.
Gonna get my Bed rails back on, Finally!
Couldn't find the right Polished steel design, so once I modify the powercoated ones I just bought, I will paint them.

Q: who wants my "Pocket Mount" chrome ones? Price:cost of shipping, or gas and maybe lunch if you live in S/E MI.

"Rocks don't move unless pushed, and neither do chevys!"

http://www.fortunecity.com/silverstone/daytona/843/

 

THE FISHIN' POLE
A BLONDE goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs
one and goes over to the register. There is a Wal-Mart "associate" standing there with dark shades on.
She says, "Excuse me sir...can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"
He says, "Ma'am I'm blind but if you will drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know
about it from the sound that it makes." She didn't believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway.
He said, "That's a 6' graphite rod with a Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line...It's a good all around rod and
reel and it's $20.00".
She says, "Thats amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's
what I'm looking for so I'll take it."
He walks behind the counter to the register, and in the meantime the woman farts. At first she is embarrassed
but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was her..being blind he wouldn't know that she was the only
person around. He rings up the sale and says, "That will be $25.50."
She says, "But didn't you say it was $20.00?"
He says, "Yes ma'am, the rod and reel is $20.00, the duck call is $3.00, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50."

 

A man was wandering around in a field, thinking about how good his wife had been to him and how fortunate he was to have her.

He asked God, “Why did you make her so kind-hearted?”
The Lord responded, “So you could love her, my son.”

”Why did you make her so good-looking, with such beautiful blond hair?”
”So you could love her, my son.”

”Why did you make her so good in bed?”
”So you could love her, my son.”

The man thought about this awhile, then he said, “I don’t mean to seem ungrateful
or anything, but... why did you make her so dumb?”

”So SHE could love YOU, my son.”


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Black 2000 SC XLT short-box. 4.2 V-6, 5-speed, 3.55 Limited Slip. Side steps, CD, remote entry, FORD box liner. Add-ons: Older Windstar driver's side wiper blade (with the air scoop, because I don't slow down when it rains), back-up beeper, "f150online.com" sticker and snazzy Tweetie Bird floor mats.

My third F-series: '73 F-100, '98 F-150 and '00 F-150. Great trucks!

 

ATST: now THAT's funny!

Now I'm sure to the rest of you these are just jokes, but to me it's everyday life: My wife is blond AND Polish!

 

What do you call an internity?

Raoul, ATST, Dunbarton and Neal in four cars at a four way stop.

 

Well, you can believe I ain't gonna try to pull out in front of them three.

 

HAHAHA, but one thing. Dunbartons reactions are toooo slow, ATST is, well shes ATST, and Neal, well, just hope his engine stalls

 

A Blonde is driving down an old country road and spots another blonde in the middle of a corn field. The blonde in the field is in a boat rowing like crazy. The blonde on the road screechs to a stop, gets out and screams "It's blondes like you that make blondes like me look bad and if I knew how to swim I would come out there and kick your ***."

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2000 XLT Sport SC 4x4, 5.4L Auto, Bright Red, CD player, 3.55 LS, Class III Tow, cab steps, Ford tonneau cover, Ford moulded mud flaps. Can't afford any other new toys to add on.

 

How to Fix Dents

A blonde was driving back from the mall
when there was a terrible hail storm.
Huge hail stones the size of golf ***** pelted
her car
leaving it full of dents.
She drove to the body shop and asked what she
should do.
The body man explained what needed to be done
and that it would cost at least $4,000 to repair.

She said that was too much and asked if there was

some other way to fix it.
The body man decided to have a little fun and
said,
"Well you could blow into the tail pipe real hard

and they might pop back out."
She decided to give it a try before spending that
much money.
She drove home and was in the garage with her
lips wrapped
around the exhaust pipe when her blonde neighbor
came over to visit.
"What are you doing?" she shrieked thinking the
worst
and thankful that she may have just prevented her
friend
from committing suicide.
"I'm blowing into the tailpipe real hard
to pop all these dents out of my car," explained
the first blonde.
"Well silly, it's not going to work," replied her
neighbor.
"Why not?" asked the first blonde.
"Because you've got to roll up the windows
first."

 

"Did you hear what happened?" Jim asked when he saw me walking down the hallway at work.

"Hear what" I asked, my curiosity peaked.

"The regional vice president died this morning!"

"What?!" I asked, totally stunned. "What happened?"

"He was working through lunch when he had a heart attack," Jim began explaining. "Everyone was gone except his secretary. You know the one."

"Boy, do I !! She's that young blonde babe."

"Yeah, that's the one. Turns out she isn't too smart, though."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"He kept yelling at her to 'call 9 1 1'. She just stood there waiting
for him to give her the rest of the phone number."



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99 F250XLT Supercab LD
5.4L 3.73 LS
White/Silver
Graphite interior
6 CD changer/Captain's Chairs