Jesse Jackson, while visiting a primary school class, found himself in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asks the Rev. Jackson if he would like to lead the discussion of the word "tragedy." So the illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a "tragedy."

One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy."

No," says the Great Jesse Jackson, "that would be an accident."

A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50
children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not," explains the exalted spiritual leader. "That's what we would call a great loss."

The room goes silent. No other children volunteer.
Rev. Jackson searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally at the back of the room little Johnny raises his hand. In a stern voice he says: "If a plane carrying the Rev. Jackson were struck by a missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy."

"Fantastic!" exclaims Jackson , "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"

"Well," says little Johnny, "because it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss, and it probably wouldn't be an accident either".

************************************************** ************************************************** **

One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living.

All the typical answers came up......salesman, mechanic, business man, doctor, lawyer, and so forth.

However, little Justin was being ususually quiet. When the teacher prodded him about his father's profession he replied, "my father is an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret. He takes off all his clothes in front of other men and they put money in his underwear. He doesn't get home until very late at night.

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurridly set the other children to work on some exercises and then took little Justin aside to ask him, "is this really true about your father?"

"No," he said, "actually my dad works for the Democratic National Committee, and he is helping to get Obama elected as the next president. I was just too embarrassed to say that in front of everyone."

 

33 reads and no replies. Huh - well I thought they were both funny, even though I heard (and thought I posted a while back but couldn't find it) the first joke about Jesse. Only it had a guest appearance by Al Sharpton as well. Same punchline however.

 

It works equally for both of them!

 

I had heard the first one before, but not the seond. I love the first, and the second was not shabby either

 

Tough crowd in GD......

 

I'll post, those are great! The second one is my definite favorite.

 

god damm hilarious im sending both of those out in my email lists

 

The Obama one was great!

So a cop hiding behind a bridge pulls a woman over on her way to work and the cop asks her "What she does for a living." She tells him she is an "Anus stretcher". He says, "Really? well what exactly do you have to do?"
She explains, 'First, I have to put my fingers in the A$$hole. Then I start to tug, Then I can pull until it gets so big I need my assistant. Then, we pull on it till it has stretched into a 6 foot a$$hole".
The cop asks, "What do you do with a 6 foot A$$hole?"
She says," You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge"