That problem is easily remedied with a little creativity.

 

I hired a midget to guide me into my garage. He's a swell guy and really does quality work. Low maintenance and he's cheaper than a tennis ball on a string.

 

Hiring illegal aliens again?

 

Tom is a heck of a nice guy and would be very upset if he were to hear you refer to him as 'illegal'. He doesn't consider himself illegal (and neither do I). I mean, if the guy can swim that far, I think we should call him an American. Castro didn't appreciate this guy's swimming ability...

 

Shouldn't you be posting in the most recent version of the drunk thread as well?

 

The scary thing is... I'm not drunk. Tom is but, I'm not. That little bastard is out in my garage smoking a Cuban cigar. I have no idea how he got them over here without getting them wet. He says the Coast Guard didn't pluck him from the water but, I have my doubts.

 

Well, then, I think a novel is in order!

Have you been herding goats lately?

 

wow...

read your post and ran outside 12:30 in the AM to check. the door is clear.

thanks.

 

I haven't been herding... quite the opposite, actually. I was house hunting today (unsuccessfully, might I add).

Raoul did get Tom on 'loaner' a few weeks ago. I have to tell you, Raoul is a pretty lame duck. That twerp had Tom out in the middle of a lake, in January, diving for golf *****.

Turns out, the guy likes to get his lob wedge out on his property and pitch ***** into the lake (and drive them at goats). Tom had to scuba dive with no supplied air to retrieve a plethora of Pinnacle Range *****. He was expecting to learn a bit of herding from the 'miz'.

I hear that the goats like Titlests.

 

Can you ship Tom down here for me by Monday morning? I'll be on the 1st tee box at 9:30 AM. With my natural slice Tom will come in quite handy.

 

Hola. Esta es Tom. No me gusta golf. Usted aspira. Déjeme solo. Usted es un hombre malo.

 

do you play beer pong by yourself too?

 

Eso es fino. Sé que usted prefiere el fútbol. Usted puede hacer polvo pelotas en el campo del fútbol en lugar.

 

I'd ease up on the midget humor if I were you.

I did it once and got a bunch of hate mail from them.
At least I think it was hate mail. It was hard to read because the font was so small.

 

My garage is 20x20, with a single 14' door. We have three vehicles so the truck stays outside.

I use six feet of the door opening and leave eight feet for my wife so she will have every oppurtunity to avoid disaster. I back in with the passengerside up against the wall. I put a piece of tape on the wall to line up with the passenger doorpost.

I thought about using a tennis ball but because the car is a little bmw the ball would have to hang down to about three feet off the floor.