Heard a new song the other day:

The herculiner song (sung to the tune of "All Star")


Somebody once told me Herculiner was sticky
Its not the easiest stuff to remove.

I was looking kind of dumb with my finger and my thumb
stuck to the end of my Hoo-ootus

Well the years start coming and the stuff ain't leavin'
And I feel so bad that I want to start heavin'
It doesn't make sense that this stuff's so sticky,
you get it on your hand and you get it on your d*cky.

So much to do, so much to see
But I can't go public with this on me.
And it hurts so much when I go
such a great pain you'll never know.

Chorus:

Hey Now, Herculiner, can you help me get clean,
Hey Now, Herculiner, can you get this off me.
Its so sticky and rough,
Even turpentine won't get it off.


It was sticky, and then it got harder
It was a dumb move, and then I got smarter
All I needed was to wear those gloves
Now I don't know if I'll ever make love.

The rocker panels look so neat,
But the stuff don't belong on my meat.
My thing's on fire, how about yours
I really don't like it cause it feels so course.

Chorus:

Hey Now, Herculiner, can you help me get clean,
Hey Now, Herculiner, can you get this off me.
Its so sticky and rough,
Even turpentine won't get it off.


Somebody once mentioned I should guard my extension
I should wear the rubber gloves that I have.
But I was in a hurry, had to go in a scurry
So I made a beeline to the lav.

Well time went on and I tried all the cures
But all I got was some ribbin' from my peers.
It doesn't make sense that this stuff's so sticky,
you get it on your hand and you get it on your d*cky.

So much to do, so much to see
But I can't go public with this on me.
And it hurts so much when I go
such a great pain you'll never know.

Chorus:

Hey Now, Herculiner, can you help me get clean,
Hey Now, Herculiner, can you get this off me.
Its so sticky and rough,
Even turpentine won't get it off.