That's freakin funny as hell!

Get about 5 clever, well thought out tips, and put them all on a business card, and drop them at the places where they are begging for tips, but don't really deserve them, I love your idea.

TIPS
=====
1.) Don't take a beer to your job interview
2.) Don't bet on the ponies.
3.) When wiping your ****, always make sure you wipe from front to back.
4). Don't adjust your TV antenna during a thunder storm.
5.)

I can't think of anymore, but you guys feel free to chime in.
If you have some clever ones, post em here.

It would be funny as hell if we could collectively come up with about 10 really funny ones, and then make up a standard card to drop in those jars.

I'll go to Staples and get some custom made, that would be a hoot.

When my wife & I took a cruise in Jan, they herded us on a bus from the Fort Lauderdale airport, to the docks where they have the cruise ships parked.

The bus driver stands up before leaving the airport and says in a loud and clear voice.

"Welcome to Fort Lauderdale, my name is Bernard, I'll be your driver.
Tips are not only appreciated, but they are expected."

I couldn't believe my ears, WTF?

Have we resorted to being such a classless bunch of animals where we have no shame anymore? I found the guys comments insulting, considering the bus transfers were included in the purchase price of the cruise.

I drive cab on Fri & Sat nights for extra cash and to get me out of the house, and generally my tips are great. I don't expect them, and if I get one it's a bonus and appreciate it. I do however go out of my way to help people when I can. I load / unload their luggage and groceries, wait until they get in their house (if late at night) before I pull away, and generally help anyway I can.

Taxi driver can be a crappy job sometimes (one of my colleagues was Kingston's first homocide of the year a few weeks ago), but this goes with the territory.

If you perform a service, and you perform it well, then a tip should be given based on how satisfied you were, but if the person was a shmuk with a bad attitude, then fukc em, they should get nothing.

I can guarantee you won't ever find an old mayonaise jar on the dashboard of my cab, with a sticker that says "Tips for the crew"

 

Here is my decision making process.

If they prepare my food, TIP and TIP WELL.
If they handel my food, Tip and TIP WELL

If not and you go back later they might remember you......


If I don't tip the cashier at the gas station, drive through or what ever. What are they going to do? Not serve me next time? HAHA yea you aint getting a tip.

 

payment before service = no gratuity
service before payment = gratuity based on service, its not automatic. No one's entitled to my money except me and the government.

Here's a little know secret. or maybe not. In many states, restaurants and the such have to pay something called "minimum wage makeup". This policy ensures that severs, for example, will make at least the federal minimum wage regardless of how well the perform their duties. So

I think that if you look in the bylaws of these franchises like Subway, Dunken Doughnuts, Jack in the Box, etc. you will actually discover that the presentation of a "tip jar" is actually a violation of the franchise agreement. These employees get paid at least federal minimum wage without the expectation of gratuity.

 

yeah i agree these tip jars everywhere are getting out of control.

 

5.) Don't look directly into the sun.

 

If you drive drunk....drive someone elses car.

 

7) Start investing early. The more money you invest between the ages of 20 and 30, the more comfortable you'll be in the Golden Years.

 

sometimes i leave something.

 

Not funny, but useful.

 

8) don't breathe underwater

jim

 

Replacement for...

7) "Clothes don't make the man, but being naked will get you arrested."

 

In Canada we have these Tim Horton coffee shops on every corner. I guess it's like your guys Dunkin Donuts.

So a coffee is $1.29, and when the little monkey at the drive-thru window would hand me the coffee, I always used to give them $2. and say "keep the change".

You would not believe how many of these little fukcers wouldnt have the decency to say "thank you". Insread I'd either get a dirty look, or just get that stunned look (insert fish hook here).

It pissed me of so much, I don't give them jack anymore.

This reminds me to have to go post my rant in the "what about society bugs you" thread.

oh oh, #8) When spending a day at the beach, always wear sun screen.

Ciao babies!

 

9. Don't take any wooden nickels.

 

10. You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose.

(someone wrote that in my HS yearbook)

 

unless they are good for a free beer on Tuesday's at the local tavern.


The tip jars don't irriate me nearly as much as the room service checks I get.

Menu says there is a standard 18% gratuity and a $2.95 charge added to all room service orders (prior to the 18%, mind you) .. yet the check still has a line for tip, and the person that brings it to the room looks at you like you are vermin if you don't add a couple bucks more.

I tip for food and drink when I am waited on at a table, for the off airport parking dudes if they handle my bags on and off the bus, and bellmen that take my bags to my room.