The Dog's Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing



The Cat's Diary

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are
fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for
the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in
order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an
attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.
Idiots!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that
my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what
this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly
released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is
obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him
communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports
my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in
an elevated cell, so he is safe.

For now...

 

Hahahaha that's a good one!

 

 

I don't care what people say about cats, I say they ROCK ! ! !

 

Reminds me of Stewies diary in the womb

 

Yes.

Nothing like a good cat stoning.



J/K folks.

sorta

 

that made me laugh a little

 

Good find Jamz!

 

I hate cats. .

 

If any of yu have lost a cat...

Check under my tires.

 

Cat's are the devil's demons

 

That's great. I've got traps out right now.

 

They're nice to have around when you run out of Charmin.

 

 

Funny story too Jamz!!