Another Joke
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From: Columbia Station, Ohio
Another Joke
Hope this isn't a repost, either...
Japanese company (Toyota) and an American company (General Motors)
decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.
On the big day, the Japanese team won by a mile. The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat. A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action.
Their conclusion was the Japanese team had 8 people rowing and 1 person
steering, while the American team had 8 people steering and 1 person rowing.
So American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large
amount of money for a second opinion. They advised that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing. To prevent another loss to the Japanese, the American's rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 Steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant Superintendent steering manager.
They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the "Rowing Quality First Program," with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rower. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices and bonuses.
The next year the Japanese won by two miles.
Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor
performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment. The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses and the
next year's racing team was outsourced to India.
Japanese company (Toyota) and an American company (General Motors)
decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.
On the big day, the Japanese team won by a mile. The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat. A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action.
Their conclusion was the Japanese team had 8 people rowing and 1 person
steering, while the American team had 8 people steering and 1 person rowing.
So American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large
amount of money for a second opinion. They advised that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing. To prevent another loss to the Japanese, the American's rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 Steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant Superintendent steering manager.
They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the "Rowing Quality First Program," with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rower. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices and bonuses.
The next year the Japanese won by two miles.
Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor
performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment. The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses and the
next year's racing team was outsourced to India.
Typical American management
They were these two old men setting at a bar. One looked at the other & said “Ya know Bill, Were getting old & we don’t have much time left. So what do you say we take us one of those Viagra pills. And go over to Mables ***** house one last time. Well after a few beers they decide to head across the street. Mable sees the old men walking across the street. And tells one of the girls to run up stares and blow up two dolls. And put one of them in room 9 & the other in room 10. And told the girls, that these drunk old men were not goin to be fondling my girls. Well after 10 minutes they meet back at the bar. And Bill says “Dang Bob, My girl was sick. She was cold & clammy & didn’t say a word!” Bill tells Bob “You think yours was bad, my girl was a witch!! I got to feeling a little crazy, so I stuck my head under the cover and bit her on the nipple. And she farted & flew out the window!!!
They were these two old men setting at a bar. One looked at the other & said “Ya know Bill, Were getting old & we don’t have much time left. So what do you say we take us one of those Viagra pills. And go over to Mables ***** house one last time. Well after a few beers they decide to head across the street. Mable sees the old men walking across the street. And tells one of the girls to run up stares and blow up two dolls. And put one of them in room 9 & the other in room 10. And told the girls, that these drunk old men were not goin to be fondling my girls. Well after 10 minutes they meet back at the bar. And Bill says “Dang Bob, My girl was sick. She was cold & clammy & didn’t say a word!” Bill tells Bob “You think yours was bad, my girl was a witch!! I got to feeling a little crazy, so I stuck my head under the cover and bit her on the nipple. And she farted & flew out the window!!!
