One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I
don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads
to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for
who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to
sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend
time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a
big, big unnamed department store.

I walked around with her while she tried on several different
very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told
her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new
clothes, so I said let's get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the
jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I
was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me
because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how
to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's
fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the
excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think
this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I
don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough
for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had
this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just
love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either

 

Wait for it . . .

 

I thought the same but didn't bother posting it...

 

He's safe for a while. UC's not signed on at the present time.

 

Awwwww.....don't pick on the reposts. It's still funny.

 

I know, but seriously . . .



I know the kid only has 20 posts, but come on he's been here almost two years.

OK, alright, I won't say anything, I'll let dzervit or UC handle it . . .



:santa:

 

Sorry for reposting. I've not seen it before...

 

It's ok....we wont hold it against you....alot.

 

No worries CH . . .

It's Friday and I'm cranky. (Besides, it was an opportunity to post an incredibly funny graphic . . . eh?)

But D is online and you'd better hope he doesn't see this.

You should put on your kevlar™ underwear just in case.

 

Nah, I'm old enough the skin won't burn anyway, just gets rougher

 

It's the first time iv'e seen it.....

 

Then you haven't been hit by Dzervit yet.

 

doesn't count....you're just slow

 

I would have figured a "ho" like you would have seen it dozens of times before.....