I, the *****, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
1. I do physical labor.
2. I work at great depths.
3. I plunge head first into everything I do.
4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
5. I work in a damp environment.
6. I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation.
7. I work in high temperatures.
8. My work exposes me to diseases.
_______________________________

Dear *****,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you
have raised, the management denies your request for the following
reasons:
1. You do not work 8 hours straight.
2. You WORK IN SHORT SPURTS AND fall asleep after EACH brief
work period.
3. You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
4. You do not stay in your designated area, and are often seen visiting other locations.
5. You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
7. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
8. You will retire LONG before you are 65.
9. You are unable to work double shifts.
10. You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
11. And if that were not all, you have constantly been seen entering and exiting the workplace carrying two
suspicious-looking bags.

Sincerely,
The Management

 

My advice for inquiring about a raise would be to ask "UC" what he would do in the situation and then do the opposite.....

 

Now that there is some good advice!

 

Actually quite the contrary. Over 3.5 years at my last place of employment, my salary went up 55%. A large portion of that, about 40% was due to a raise request I made.

 

Please tell me you did read the thread and are just playing dumb.

 

Well, unless my memory is failing me, your "raise asking technique" must be a helluva lot better than your "raise asking advice".....

 

That's funny. I like that.

 

LMAO!!

I'm printing off that for work tomorrow!! lol thats great!!

 

Sorry BrotherDave is on my ignore list.

 

LMAO, well, the wise thing would have been to ignore the thread then.

 

what did i do?

 

Sorry, I can't read your post to know what you're saying.

 

Oh man, this is gonna be the best thread EVER ! ! !




BTW, Dave....your not on his ignore list.

 

You crawl in the pipe and clean it! I'm done man

 

Jamz is cheating. He knows who's on my ignore list.