joke...

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An 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting.

When she went before the judge in Cincinnati he asked her, "What did you steal?"

She replied, "A can of peaches."
The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches
and she replied that she was hungry.

The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can.

She replied, "6."
The judge said, "Then I will give you 6 days in jail."

Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something.

The judge said, "What is it?"

The husband said, "She also stole a can of peas."

 

One of my employees sent this to me tonight at work.



A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem . While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land , for $150." The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.

The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?"

The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead I just can't take that chance. "

 

He missed the big chance.....A 100 pound sack of rice.