i got run over in a go-cart by a F350 club cab duallie when i was 14..

evil kinevil jump on my bike = face first into a tree stump 10 months later...

and i got in a fight with my lathe one day at work..i lost..26 then

i'm all done now..

...zap!

 

At age 16, myself and my friend were the only kids in 9th grade who had cars, go figure you get held back a year in elementry school it pays off later! anyway 6 of us decided to steel election signs and for sale signs and place them infront of the school "senior prank at freshman level" I had been driving most of the night when I told Tom "You drive and let me ride in the back of the truck with the others" he was the other 16 year old who could drive... So from what I am told I was running back to the truck with sign in hand, did I mention I waxed the truck bed earlier in the week? and hoped in the back and yelled go!, he took off and I slide out onto the pavement, head first.
When I woke from the coma 6 days later I had 3 closed head fractures, a messed up arm and a sore back that still to his day has a large sack of fluid with scar tissue near my belt line.
Two weeks in the hospital and 6 more in a rehab hospital I came out alright, I lost my sense of smell and still have some side affecs but otherwise okay.
The ironic part is 16 years later I bought the house across the street from where this all took place.

 

-Age 16, a huge mirror flew off the wall and landed right where I was laying in the floor watching tv. Luckily I rolled out of the way thanks to my Mom's death-curdling scream. I've always wondered how she knew it was going to fall, because she started screaming right before it started falling. It hit hard and shattered into a thousand little pieces. I've always thought we had a little paranormal activity going on in that house where I grew up. But we won't get into that.

-Age 18, Went down a long steep azz hill on a skateboard and wiped out at the bottom. They said I was convulsing while I was knocked out. Result? Fourteen stiches, a cracked skull, and now going on thirteen years of mental and emotional problems ie. major depression, severe anxiety attacks, mood disorder, and severe paranoia. I'm just glad I'm still kickin' because the Dr. said if I'd hit my head any harder, I would have died.

-Age 19, I think it was a result of my head injury, but I was laying in bed and all of a sudden everything went blank. I could not move no matter how hard I tried. All I could see was a bright white light, and it felt like I was on a Gravitron ride at a carnival because I had the sensation of falling at 50,000+ mph. I snapped out of it in about a minute, then it hit me again full force. I came out of it that time too. To this day I think I died twice and came back. That was the strangest feeling I've ever encountered.

 

Age 9 to 10 some where around there. Pluged a small 1.2v DC motor out of some battery powered car into a wall outlet. At the time not aware that there was a difference between AC and DC. Well the result was me flyng across the room, burnt outlet, and very upset parents. Now I get paid to play with electrcity.............

 

Edited to add:

Age 19: I drank a whole fifth of Vodka in 30 seconds. I got double dog dared by a so-called friend. He said he'd give me fifty bucks if I did it. I did it, and he didn't own up. I head-butted his dashboard and knocked it loose. Next thing I know I wake up at another friends house the next morning.

Age 20: I was sitting on the tailgate of my "so-called" friend's Ford Ranger in a parking lot where we all used to go to to meet girls and BS and stuff. He get's the crazy idea to start up the truck and do circle-burnouts while I was still on the tailgate. Tires were squeeling, smoke everywhere, I actually thought I was going to die. I was hanging onto the tailgate cables for dear life. He never threw me off though. That's the closest thing to bull riding I've ever done.

 

Skateboarding. A friend of mine built a ragged little quarter pipe in his driveway, wasn't but about 4 feet wide and five or six feet high. We'd start off at the base of his driveway, ride up, pop a trick and cruise back down the driveway. I'd only do dumb little things like nose stalls, rock and rolls or rock to fakies.

Well, one day I got a wild hair up my *** and decided I wanted to learn blunt fakies. This trick is done by going up the QP, above the copping, hitting the copping with the rear wheels while the board stays straight, coming off the copping and rolling back down the QP backwards or "fakie." One day, I rolled up with a not quite enough speed, got the blunt part down but didn't have enough to pull myself off the copping to roll down. Board got hung up, and I fell dead on the back of my skull, flipped me out like a light switch right there. I eventually came around to my friend and his parents standing over me, snapping their fingers and yelling at me to wake up.

Come to think of it, I took a lot of hard slams on that rinkydink QP. Probably explains a lot today.

 

Age 5 or 6 - Running around outside playing with no shirt on and some stupid wild cat comes running at me and jumps on my chest with full claws and won’t let go. Major pain and ended up with ringworm or something and had to take medication and put some kind of jell on it. Hated freaking cats every since and take them down at every opportunity…

Age 12 – Riding skateboard around corner and brother coming around the other way run into his bicycle and got knocked out for a few and couldn’t figure out who he was or who I was. Took me home and sat me down by the garage mom comes out and ask ”who are you?” Did I tell you I hate cats, well that’s about the only thing I knew about myself at that moment was I hated freaking cats. After about 10 minutes I figured out who I was, who my brother was, and what the hell had happen almost beat his @ss but mom was there damnit…

Age 12 – Cutting something on my leg with a knife and didn’t work out to well and cut my leg. About 2” long and ½” or so deep, not bad but bleeding like a mother so I go to get in the bath tub and have my brothers go to get some bandages and ask them PLEASE DON’T TELL MOM. Basturds tell mom and she about dies when she comes in and sees blood all over the bath tub, look like a murder scene…

Age 14 – Riding bike and eat it real bad doing about 20mph. Major road rash on my arms. Get home and lay down in front of the fan to get it to scab over. Fell asleep and mom walks in. She about dies again screaming and yelling ”Your covered in jelly” Needless to say I was screwed since I was suppose to be on restriction and NOT riding my bike.

Age 20 – A buddy of mine from the Navy and I were on leave together in my home town, he lived in Palm Springs about 40 miles from me. I had a 1969 Pontiac Grand Prix with the 455 (car could kick major @ss) and he had I believe a 1972 Camaro. We raced a lot while on leave and I would always kick his @ss. We had a thing if one of us ran a stop sign the race was on. Christmas Eve night leaving my girlfriends house we pledged not to race and were going to go home in opposite directions. I needed to make a Del Taco run so ended up following him. He runs a stop sign (about 1:00am in the morning) so the pledge is off but I figure I will let him get some distance so I can cream him. We he gets a good 15 car lengths on me and I floor it and get to about 100mph and he pulls a Rockford turn (does a 180 in the middle of the got damn road) I hit the brakes but end up hitting him doing about 75mph (last I saw on the speedometer). Basically hit head on and makes a hell of a noise. Completely demolished his car and bent up the front bumper on mine but I could still drive it and pushed his back to my girlfriend’s house. I ended up with a bad conclusion from smacking my head into the steering wheel.

Age 20 – Mom almost dies again when my freaking brothers bring her down to see both cars and tells mom me and my friend were playing chicken and nobody won. I told the little basturds not to tell mom but you know how that goes. To this day mom does not believe the true story and really believes we were playing chicken…

And, I still hate cats...

 

so many times.

hid in a dog house that was a giant yellow jacket nest... had over 200 stings

Go ran over by a snowmobile, tractor, a truck, a few motorcycles and quads.

Was pinned under an upside down quad in a river, under water. My friend was laughing so hard he couldn't lift the quad.

used to race BMX and never wore a helmet, have scars to prove it.
used to do freestyle on a bike, no helmet or pads, more scars to prove it.

Driving about 110mph on a foggy morning and a cow (yes a cow) took off my side mirror... it was just standing in the road. I slowed down to about 80mph after that.

I freaked my mom out all the time.. I would hold my breathe and sit on the bottom of the pool for about 3 minutes. she jumped in a few times to "rescue" me... she wasn't too happy.

There was a few home made pipe _ _ _ _ _.... we blew up a lot of stuff. including yellow jacket nests.

 

About 6 or 7

Got attacked by a dog. Never passed out (unfortunately for me) Went into neighbors house when my dog came out of nowhere and shredded the offending mutt. Kids mom turned ghost white when she looked at me. I had no idea what was up. Put hand on head, hand turned red. This was I think back when dissolvable stiches were the new hotness. Had an inummerable number of stiches and 27 staples to put my scalp back where it belonged.

 

As far as I'm aware, I never came close to dying as a little kid. I did, however, almost go blind from whacking off....

 

nothing bad enough to kill myself that I can remember (never even broken a bone), but my cousin who is 25 also got hit by a minivan while walking across the street one time and got thrown 15 feet and knocked unconsious (it was a pastor who hit him accidentally with the van)

 

One time while on re-con in Nam a buddy of mine heard something in the bush and now i hear it. We crawl on our bellies can't see a thing we hear brush moving, sticks breaking, and footsteps. Can't see nothing dark, rainy, hot as hell. Rain stops and we hear it again i prop up my m16 in between a V in a tree and try to see something. I hear commotion then a short burst from my buddies M and run to wards him and i see him on the ground holding his chest i look he has a 2" hole in his top left side chest and its bleeding bad, then i hear noise and its coming fast. I grab my M and turn just as the water buffalo my buddy just racked a short burst into slams right into me and knocks me like 20 feet away to the ground. Now i can't get a breath and i am hurting but i now know what the noises are. I get up as best possible and i run/fall back to my bud who was gored by this sumbitch after he put 20+ rounds into it. I turn see the water buffalo coming at us again but much slower this time and i put the M16 in full auto and unloaded that clip then another into it. That brang in many more gi's to investigate wtf was going on. One of them checks my bud and hes bleeding but he's okay then another shines his light on me and as he is looking me over he says look at your foot man. Then i look down and my foot is completely turned to the inside against my ankle i was walking/running on my ankle for dam near 10 minutes and did not even know it. I was scared ****less and pumping with adrenaline. That water buffalo also cost us 20 us dollars ( belonged to a farmer), he got paid and then he butchered it and all the guys ate that MF.... I still have visions of that MF when i sleep some times..... Just one of way to many nitemares over there. Charly was often hard to find but who would have thought a stinking water buffalo...

 

How about: What almost didn't kill me as a kid? Mom didn't care where I was, as long as I was out of her hair I'm just lucky to still be around...that's all I have to say.

 

And, your eyesight continues to deteriorate rapidly!

 

I still have my eyesight, but can anyone tell me what I can use to remove all this damn hair from my palms???