Keying on the divorce thread already on this board; I'd like to start one with crazy stuff you've endured or heard about others enduring for divorce...

Let's not cry in our beer though, let's try to keep it funny, ironic, or so crazy/stunning all you can say is: Daaaaamn...

1.) A girl at my job was cheating on her husband with a guy at my job. They'd be breaking each other off in the parking lot, at lunch time; both in their 30's but doing stuff that you'd expect from a teenager, (or me) when it came to getting it while it's hot. Anyway, as she grew fond of the newly applied ding-ding, and tired of the old one, she decided to divorce her husband and the father of her daughter, for the new boyfriend (who was also married, but didn't leave his wife *whole 'nother story*) and the father of her baby which she was carrying.

She and her husband had already been for a while, and whenever they tried to serve him divorce papers, he'd either not acknowledge them, or miss them somehow. So, to make sure she got him, guess what she did...

She had his divorce papers served to him.... At church. Can you even imagine how farking embarrassing that would be?

Source: The girl herself, and some of her friends... She was a dime-piece (10), but after that second baby, almost everything stayed swollen, reducing her babe factor to 5.5.
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2.) Another good friend of mine; a really good friend- was in an interracial relationship. He's black, she's white. Both good-looking people, who had no trouble attracting the attention of the opposite sex. They had a problem though; they still had single friends (I never understood why people always said married folks shouldn't have single friends, but- they are an example of why this is true.) They had another problem, they couldn't stay out of the clubs.

We used to go visit them, they'd come visit us, and on every meeting, we'd hear about a near-fight they had to have because some guy was hitting on her, or some girl was hitting on him. They began to have "trust" issues. On one of the last meetings, they asked my wife and I (7-year marriage veterans at the time) how we were doing it, and what they could do to improve their situation. I told them directly, "Keep your asses out of the damn club". That's the first thing you can do, second, limit or eliminate the time you spend with single friends. They thought I was crazy, taking things too far...

3-6 months later, we went to visit them. Her cell would ring, she'd go upstairs and take the call. His cell would ring, he'd go to the garage, or have one of those low, one-sided conversations: "Umm-hmm, umph-umph, no, why, because, etc..." Never saying anything to tip off any stupid, or otherwise inattentive would-be listeners. About 3 months after that, he called me. "I can't take this sh*t no more, ____ and I are getting a divorce." I thought no myself, "No sh*t Sherlock? I didn't see that coming..." I asked why, and it's because she has so many n****s calling her, and hanging up the phone when I answer, she's always in the club, etc.. Then she gets on the phone, "Oh no, he's doing the same sh*t, girls calling here, blowing the horn at me, thinking it's him in the truck and it's me..." They planned to/and agreed to maintain the "happily married" facade until the holidays passed. It was November...

They still lived in the house together, slept in the same bed and everything; but had planned to part after the new year. With that going on, I asked if there was any chance at reconciliation, he said no.

Dude was outside washing his car when 2-3 police cars rolled up. It was the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. The deputy handed him a packet. He was served divorce papers the day before Thanksgiving.

She left right after that...

Source: Both of them, and eye-witnessing some of this myself.

Who said women don't have bhallz?

 

I've never understood the whole "can't go to a club and not try to get some" thing. I'm married, and still go out on occasion with single friends of mine. Not once do I wish that I could get a chick that's in there. Why, you ask? Because the person I love is at home and no one is better for me than her.

To me, if people can't control themselves at the club, then it's not the club that is making them want to cheat, but themselves. And it's not just clubs that this happens in. I'm sure that these same people find it hard to maintain monogamy at work, too, possibly. You'd think that people would realize how their significant other is BEFORE committing to marriage, but sadly, most don't.

 

Very well said, and you are correct except for the fact that many people are too weak and cannot resit a temptation. They are better off not putting themselves in a place of temptation.

 

"Not once do I wish that I could get a chick that's in there. Why, you ask?"

Don't need to ask. You're obvisously not good looking.

Swim to shore, bra, you're in De Nile.

 

Um, okay. And this relates to the OP how?

Back to topic. It amazes me when I go out here in Knoxville how many guys and girls go out separately that are married. Actually, that part doesn't amaze me. What does is the people that have the "ring" imprint so blatant on their left hand. I just laugh and wonder if their significant other is doing the same at the same moment somewhere else.

 

I'm sure all cheaters have started out with the same level of innocence, but, mix in a fattening/b!tchy wife, a predictable or greatly reduced sex-life, or some other manner of spousal disconnect, and that 22 year old in the white mini-skirt, with the perfect breasts, tight thighs, long legs, and awesome butt, nibbling on the cherries in her drink, while half-way talking to her friend and giving you the "I'll get on top" eyes, starts looking real good. She starts looking like someone you could "just be friends" with... A "club buddy". Especially if your boys notice, and start egging you on. "Go on man, you see how she's looking at you... What are you, Gay? Scared? Pu**y-whipped?" (Not that any of this ever happened to me, not since 1996 anyway...)

Some people are exceptionally strong willed when it comes to monogamy (me). I can not chase women, and avoid the mild to moderate temptation. But, I also know that I am a man, and I know that if it's put in my face, over and over, and over again; if it's relentless in its pursuit of me, as the Borg says, "Resistance is futile..." I'd start touching, then squeezing, then testing, then tasting, then I'd be at Motel 6, or in my backseat... Unfortunately, I'd have to tell and lose everything, because I have a conscious that would whip my **** day in and day out, if I ever did something like that.

So, for me, acknowleding my weakness, the best course of action is to bolster my turn-down ability by keeping my distance from temptation. I go to work, I go home, I lift weights (every now & then), I wash my cars, I watch TV, I go places with my wife (and still get hit on time to time, if my wife's looking at purses, or something- and I'm no Denzel Washington), I play with my son, I play with my dogs, I post on F-150 Online with you guys (and talk ish about who I'd like to, and what I'd like to, MILF's, etc. but that's about as far as it's gonna go: talk), and I spend time with my family...

Clubs and single friends are nothing but trouble. A good friend of mine, and his (heavily tanned, pretty, military trained, thick-legged, Mariah Carey-looking) wife found this out the hard way. Clubs are to be avoided because of temptation, and single friends because they have far more "freedom"; they come & go as they please, no one else's feelings have to be considered... This BS, along with "Boys night out, and girls night out" is a recipe for divorce and cheating...

That may not be true for everyone, but for many- the best plan is distance... Like I said, I stay away from it; far away from it... In a few weeks my wife and I will share our 12 year anniversary, not a single, solitary cheat...

I choose to stay away from the clubs; if you're good-looking like me, you'd better stay away too...

 

Damn Bighersh, you are killing me! I love to read your stories, they are always great!

 

LOL- it's all true, but- the names have been withheld to protect their identities!

Drill, you know how it is in the military. Most GI's have a better chance of not losing any of their TA-50, than they do keeping up with their spouse!

Here's another one; I don't know if it resulted in divorce, but, it should have...
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Just to show you how bold some women are:

Once we got back from Desert Storm (June 1991) we had a bet one day about tires (Ironic what can lead to a bedroom, isn't it?). My friend Craig had a Toyota Supra with 225/50/16" Goodyear tires on it. My roommate Alvin had a Corolla GTS Coupe with 195/50/15's on it. Don't ask me why, but Alvin's tires looked wider than Craig's. Craig was like, "They are the same width because they're both 50-series tires." I told him the "50" had nothing to do with the width, and has everything to do with the thickness of the sidewall. Unable to convince each other, we started asking other people. Half agreed with me (That the 225/195 is indicative of tread width), half agreed with him that the lower you go in series, the wider the tires (60's, 50's, 45's, etc..).

Still unable to settle this debate, I said "Let's go to the tire companies, (Big O, Discount Tire, and one other one). At first, the bets were crazy, $500, $250- I said, "Let's make this more reasonable. If I win, I'll take you to eat whatever you want, if I win, Pizza for everybody, but you pay." (I said that because he wanted that $50 steak that was free if you could eat it all). He agreed, and we shook- it was a bet.

We went to Discount Tire; ironically, the guy we talked to agreed with him. I could feel the pucker factor increase at the thought of paying $50 to watch this fool eat a steak. We went to the other store, he said I was "mostly" right, because the 195/50/15, was the number indicating the tire width, but the 50 was a percentage of the 195, that indicates sidewall thickness. One for me, one for him. We went to Big O, and I won there too. Craig's tires should have been wider than Alvin's, (And they probably were, we never measured them.) but from a visual appearance stand point, those 195's looked wider than his 225's (Alvin's rims were probably wider; but doubtful considering it was a FWD (Corolla GTS).

Having lost the bet, he immediately paid up by taking us to Pizza Hut on Fry Blvd. We were about 5-6 people deep, when we went into the Pizza Hut (They used to be like a restaurant that you could do into and eat at.) Inside, there was this honey named "Bearl". She was very pretty, tall for a girl, about 5'8" - 5'9", in her late 20's, early 30's, with a booty so big you couldn't palm it with Shaq's hands.

He was flirting with her heavily; we all were, but, he was REALLY laying it on thick, even though she had a wedding ring on her finger. (We were all single GI's.) We ate, got full and left. Who knew that his flirting had won her over? A few evenings later, we were all out washing our cars, when he shows up with Bearl and an equally well-endowed friend, going up to his barracks room.

He was hitting that, maybe not that night, then again... I say maybe because she had a friend with her, so he'd taken two girls up to his room that night. For those of you old enough to remember, MC Hammer was HUGE in 1991. His new video "2 Legit 2 Quit" came out, and was going to be simultaneously broadcast on CBS, NBC, ABC, MTV and BET one early fall evening. If you live in Sierra Vista, and you don't have cable, you aren't watching TV (Mountains), so we were all scrambling to find a way to see this video. Craig invited us over to "his place" to see it, which was only 5 minutes from work. (How'd he find place 5-minutes from work?)

He gave us directions. (Hmm, this is on post...) So, we all go over. And there we are, sitting up in Bearl's house, with her, Craig, her kids, and about seven other "invited" hard-legs from the unit. I felt bad about being there, but dammit- I was gonna see that video...

I thought he had moved off post into an apartment, he had actually moved INTO post-housing with her. Her husband had deployed with the 1199th Signal Company to Bahrain after we all got back from desert Storm. He was going to be gone 3-6 months.

I asked him if he was concerned about her husband finding out when he got back, he said "No, they aren't gonna tell. She's sprung, her kids love me, and they hate their daddy." I left in December 1991, he was still living there.

 

Trust me big H.... I would definitely stay away from you in a club!

 

I'd hope so, dude...

 

My uncle dated a Korean woman and she told this story once at Thanksgiving about when here dad left here mom. It seems that he didn't have the juevos to tell her in person so he packed up his stuff and called her from the road. They lived in Portland, OR and he called from Eugene, which about 100 miles south. Her mom was so pissed that she got in the car and chased him down somewhere in central/Sthrn CA. Her mom admitted that she had to drive at almost 100 mph for hours but she finally caught him. I don't remember the whole story but I think she had some idea of where he was going. It's just crazy to think that a women would even try that! I bet that guy was surprised to see her!! Note to self.... watch out for Korean women

 

A stiff richard has no conscience......

 

A friend of mine asked me one day if I wanted to make some money helping him help a friend move. I said sure, no problem. He said be ready at 6:30 AM tomorrow. I said cool. I didn't know how much money, but I was working everywhere I could, including the cotton fields of Louisiana to the tune of $25.00/day * 5 days a week. But, when it rained, we didn't work the next day- sometimes the next 2 days. I was freshly graduated from high school, and awaiting my delayed-entry date for the Army.

Anyhoo, 6:40, they showed up (I didn't know the man, a white guy- but my friend new him, that was good enough for me). Nice truck, 4x4, big tires. Cool..

So, we head to this town called Gilbert, LA. Roughly a 45 minute drive from my hometown. We get there, and there are three white ladies that we're moving. Or, should I say one white lady (38-40, in great shape) and her two equally well shaped daughters (20 and maybe 24). My friend and I were 18 (me) & 19 (him). Yep, we were checking them out, but in 1987, interracial dating was not as prevalent, or accepted as it is now, not in Louisiana anyway.

So, we worked all day, loading their car (Grand Am) and loading the truck, and the trailer. We got all the stuff loaded, and it was about 3:30 PM. We three guys were back in the truck (No supercrew, and few extended cabs back then) and we headed back towards home. We're following the girls. By now, we're all laughing & talking, since we all know each other. We went through a town called Wisner, LA and was just outside of town, heading towards Sicily Island. Out of nowhere he shout out, "Awww Schit!". I'm wondering what's up, and all of a sudden this lady pulls along side us, and looks in the truck (momentarily). You know, the pause that's long enough to be uncomfortable. We were on a 2-lane blacktop, I thought to myself, (I know this woman, well.) She passes us, driving a good looking 4 x 4 red & tan Ford Bronco. (Yep, that's her- I know this truck.)

I guess "Momma" in the Grand Am must've known who that Bronco belonged to, too because as the Bronco got between us and the Grand Am, the Grand Am took of like a V-6 missile, with the Bronco giving chase. He was driving an saying "Oh chit, oh schit, oh schit", and JW and I were looking at each other. I'm giving him the, "WTF have you pulled me in the middle of?" look, and he's giving me the, "Deer in the headlights" look.

We didn't go much faster than we were going, (Loaded down) but the Bronco and the Grand Am were gone. The Bronco acting as if it was gonna run the Grand Am off the road. Like I said, I knew the Bronco, it belonged to a well-known lady in town.

I don't know what happened after that (With the ladies), but by the time we got to Sicily Island, he was laughing and talking again. He never admited it, but after knowing who the Bronco driver was, I knew who he was, and I knew what he was doing- the woman he'd been kissing on, and patting every now & then, wasn't his girlfriend, she was his mistress.

We finally get to the house (just outside of Ferriday, LA) and whatever had happened, had just ended. (Mrs. _____ and the Bronco was gone. Momma was calm, but the 24 year old was screaming and yelling about wanting to "beat that b**ches a**", and I wish she'd come through that fence, etc...

They apologized for getting us in the middle of all of that, and we said "No problem" We unloaded the truck, and was a little nervous that the lady we both knew well, would come back, armed, but she never did.

I felt really bad because I knew this lady well, she knew JW and I both, very well. I know she probably thought we knew he was cheating on her (I didn't) and was helping him move his mistress closer to him. It wasn't like that, I'd never even spoke to that man before that day, and didn't know who he was until I saw her and put 2 & 2 together. They were well-known farmers in town; he was known by name, she was known by name (his wife) and her occupation (she taught at the high school).

I was hoping that for the next two months our paths didn't cross, but if they did, and she'd listen, I'd definitely have apologized to her. But, that was a situation that could have gotten us all killed, had the wrong woman been crossed in that situation.

Dude was caught with both hands in the cookie jar, crumbs around his mouth. How he found the nutz to go home after that is beyond me. This was late May, early June 1987, so people didn't have cell phones back then, how'd he know she wouldn't cap him when he got home? Did he even go home? I dunno... I never saw him after that, but everytime I go to Ferriday, I see that house, and remember that day.