An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall, when up came this young man who plopped down on the bench too. He had spiked hair in a variety of colors: blue,green,red, yellow,and orange. The old man just stared. Every time the young fellow looked his way, the old man just kept staring. Finally, the young man had enough, and said sarcastically, "What's the matter, old timer, never done anything wild in your life?" Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk one time and had relations with a pea[ock. I was just wondering if you might be my son."

 

Gosh, no comments? I guess it wasn't that funny. But it was clean...

 

It made me smile too!

 

A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts"

She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer. When he finished it, he said, "Quick, bring me another beer. It's gonna start."

This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer.

When it was gone, he said, "Quick, another beer before it starts."

"That's it!" She blows her top, "You bastard! You waltz in here, flop your fat *** down, don't even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like your slave. Don't you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?"

The husband sighed. "Oh sh*t, it started!”