Note on the Bed
> >
> > A FATHER PASSING BY HIS SON'S BEDROOM WAS ASTONISHED TO
> > SEE THE BED WAS
> > NICELY MADE AND EVERYTHING WAS PICKED UP.
> >
> > THEN HE SAW AN ENVELOPE PROPPED UP PROMINENTLY ON THE
> > CENTER OF THE BED.
> > IT WAS ADDRESSED, "DAD." WITH THE WORST PREMONITION, HE
> > OPENED THE
> > ENVELOPE AND READ THE LETTER WITH TREMBLING HANDS:
> >
> > DEAR DAD,
> >
> > IT IS WITH GREAT REGRET AND SORROW THAT I'M WRITING THIS.
> > I HAD TO ELOPE
> > WITH MY NEW GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE I WANTED TO AVOID A SCENE
> > WITH MOM AND
> > YOU.
> >
> > I'VE BEEN FINDING REAL PASSION WITH BARBARA AND SHE IS SO
> > NICE EVEN WITH
> > ALL HER PIERCING, TATTOOS, AND HER TIGHT MOTORCYCLE
> > CLOTHES. BUT IT'S
> > NOT ONLY THE PASSION, DAD - SHE'S PREGNANT AND BARBARA
> > ASSURES ME THAT
> > WE WILL BE VERY HAPPY. EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T CARE FOR HER
> > SINCE SHE IS
> > SO MUCH OLDER THAN I AM, SHE ALREADY OWNS A TRAILER IN
> > THE WOODS AND HAS
> > A STACK OF FIREWOOD ENOUGH FOR THE WHOLE WINTER. SHE
> > WANTS TO HAVE MANY
> > MORE CHILDREN WITH ME AND THAT'S NOW ONE OF MY DREAMS
> > TOO.
> >
> > BARBARA TAUGHT ME THAT MARIJUANA DOESN'T REALLY HURT
> > ANYONE AND WE'LL BE
> > GROWING IT FOR OURSELVES AND TRADING IT WITH HER FRIENDS
> > FOR ALL THE
> > COCAINE AND ECSTASY WE NEED. IN THE MEANTIME, WE PRAY
> > THAT SCIENCE WILL
> > FIND A CURE FOR AIDS SO THAT BARBARA CAN GET BETTER; SHE
> > SURE DESERVES
> > IT!!
> >
> > DON'T WORRY, DAD, I'M 15 YEARS OLD NOW AND I KNOW HOW TO
> > TAKE CARE OF
> > MYSELF. SOMEDAY I'M SURE WE'LL BE BACK TO VISIT SO YOU
> > CAN GET TO KNOW
> > YOUR GRANDCHILDREN.
> >
> > YOUR SON,
> >
> > JOHN
> >
> > P.S. DAD, NONE OF THIS IS TRUE. I'M OVER AT BILLY'S
> > HOUSE. I JUST WANTED
> > TO REMIND YOU THAT THERE ARE WORSE THINGS IN LIFE THAN MY
> > REPORT CARD
> > WHICH IS IN MY DESK CENTER DRAWER.
> >
> > I LOVE YOU!
> >
> > P.S.S. CALL WHEN IT'S SAFE FOR ME TO COME HOME
> >

 

That's a good one....

 

Having 2 girls, I dont have to worry about that hapening to me.

With boys, you have to worry about the one *****...
With girls I have to worry about all the penises out there.

 

That's great.

 

That's funny, especially considering today's world.

 

I am SOOOOOO sending that to the wife.

 

Haha, totally unplanned, but I have 3 boys...What was your address again?

 

666 Hand Basket Ln

It's the house with a guy sitting in a rocker on the front porch typing on a lap top, and a shot gun leaned against the house beside him. Can't miss it.

 

Sounds like me

My baby is only 4 (almost) though and her brother is 7 so I've got plenty of time.

 

Roger that. Thanks for the heads up...I'll start teaching them the art of feigning while they're young...

 

Well, my girls are 9, and I have been keeping the ol 12GA nice and clean.

 

Lmao... Thats great...

 

Yea I remember thinking I had time too, that wasn't to long ago. Mines 6 and 10.... TIMES UP!

 

6 and 10 and times up???? You must live deep in mountains....
Hell, I'm not going to let my sons date until they're 18, and then I'll have the shotty out and have to meet the parents. I think that the boys know that I know the girls parents, they'll be a lot more likely to stay inline...

 

Was bringing them home from school earlier this week and heard my 6 Y/o, (she'll be 7 in a month). She's in first grade and she was telling her sister that she broke up with this one boy so this other boy would ask her to be his girlfriend. WTF!