Dogs and Greenies...
Senior Member
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 387
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From: Somewhere near the back of beyond
On a lighter note. . .I think y'all need a little pick me up. I've had this for several years, I think it fits:
Dear Dogs and Cats,
When I say to move, it means to go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping, they can actually curl up in a ball! It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but sarcasm.
My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the ****, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. When I exit this room, I will come out the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years. Canine attendance has never been necessary.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dogs' butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.
In return for your following these simple rules, I have posted the following message on our front door:
Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
3. I like my pet a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
5. Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell the results.
Dear Dogs and Cats,
When I say to move, it means to go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping, they can actually curl up in a ball! It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but sarcasm.
My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the ****, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. When I exit this room, I will come out the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years. Canine attendance has never been necessary.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dogs' butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.
In return for your following these simple rules, I have posted the following message on our front door:
Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
3. I like my pet a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
5. Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell the results.
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 2,079
Likes: 0
From: Pikesville, MD
Originally Posted by wild-mtn-rose
On a lighter note. . .I think y'all need a little pick me up. I've had this for several years, I think it fits:
Dear Dogs and Cats,
Dear Dogs and Cats,
Senior Member
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 1,248
Likes: 0
From: MOTORCITY
Those were good Rose.
When our bed was lower Winston would sleep right along side of me. I was so used to his snoring it was no big deal when my hubby & I moved in together (another big snorer).
Winston will be 9 the day after Valentine's Day. We know his time will come all too soon. He started showing signs of arthritis in 1 hip about a year ago, altho I haven't noticed it since that winter passed.
Personally, when the time comes I still don't know if I would even be able to go to the vet with him. I have had him from when he was 9 months old. We have already dicussed what to do after the time comes & agree that we will want another bully & that we will go to the breeder he came from because we love his temperment. Hubby's mom always tells us that we probably won't want another once we experience not having one for a while.
Back to the original top, when picking a food for our bulldog we had a rather obscene obsticle. I had to find a food that minimized his horrible gas (& I mean he cleared the back deck of a boat once, yep thats right a wide open area was evacuated because they couldn't stand the smell).
rdy2rac with
When our bed was lower Winston would sleep right along side of me. I was so used to his snoring it was no big deal when my hubby & I moved in together (another big snorer).
Winston will be 9 the day after Valentine's Day. We know his time will come all too soon. He started showing signs of arthritis in 1 hip about a year ago, altho I haven't noticed it since that winter passed.
Personally, when the time comes I still don't know if I would even be able to go to the vet with him. I have had him from when he was 9 months old. We have already dicussed what to do after the time comes & agree that we will want another bully & that we will go to the breeder he came from because we love his temperment. Hubby's mom always tells us that we probably won't want another once we experience not having one for a while.
Back to the original top, when picking a food for our bulldog we had a rather obscene obsticle. I had to find a food that minimized his horrible gas (& I mean he cleared the back deck of a boat once, yep thats right a wide open area was evacuated because they couldn't stand the smell).
rdy2rac with
Senior Member
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 387
Likes: 0
From: Somewhere near the back of beyond
Originally Posted by RDY2RAC
Those were good Rose. . .
. . .Back to the original top, when picking a food for our bulldog we had a rather obscene obsticle. I had to find a food that minimized his horrible gas (& I mean he cleared the back deck of a boat once, yep thats right a wide open area was evacuated because they couldn't stand the smell).
rdy2rac with
. . .Back to the original top, when picking a food for our bulldog we had a rather obscene obsticle. I had to find a food that minimized his horrible gas (& I mean he cleared the back deck of a boat once, yep thats right a wide open area was evacuated because they couldn't stand the smell).
rdy2rac with
We had a horrid gas problem with our dog Jake also. I found these tablets and they worked absolute wonders (thought about trying them on the old man
) They are an enzyme tablet that improves their digestion which cuts down on gas and he loved them so it wasn't like giving him his seizure medication which I had to shove down his throat. He was very hard to medicate. 
Last edited by wild-mtn-rose; Jan 23, 2006 at 02:54 AM.